


Phoenix

by Beigehere



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Dragons, Episode: s03e13 The Firebending Masters, F/M, Fire, I did so much research, Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, Multi, Phoenix - Freeform, Post-Avatar: The Last Airbender, Rewrite, Romance, Self-Insert, Spiritbending & Spiritbenders (Avatar), Spirits, Sun Spirit, a lot of dragons, but also not a self-insert, cool fire stuff, iroh's past in the spirit world, just your average zuko x oc, new lore, spirituality, zuko and mai had an unhealthy relationship change my mind
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 44,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24801034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beigehere/pseuds/Beigehere
Summary: Phoenix is the High Priestess of the Sun Warriors, and has been guarding a secret about firebending her whole life. When the Avatar and Fire Nation Prince show up on her people's doorstep, the dragons give her a vision, one she knows she must carry out. But what will her involvement mean for the survival of her people, and the protection of the last dragons on Earth?A Zuko x OC fanfic. Characters and original story from Avatar the Last Airbender owned by Nickelodeon, some mechanical elements from Vathara.y'all would not BELIEVE all the actual research I did for this fic
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Kei Lo/Mai (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Zuko/OC (Avatar)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	1. Prologue (Book 3, Chapter 13)

**Author's Note:**

> Just some general info for pronunciations and backgrounds on names. Its mostly me talking about lore to myself.  
> You can skip if you want, but there's an important bit at the very end.
> 
> Mokuxa - Sun Warrior City (since it's never given a name in the show)  
> Pronounced as Moe-KU-sha. The name comes from the Mixtec (MEES-tect) words for Death (Moku) and Eagle (Xa), the Mixtec civilization lived very near the famous Aztec Empire, who actually overthrew the Mixtec people. They called themselves the people of the rain, so I thought it would be funny to base the name from their language rather than the Aztec language. Over half a million people today (as of 2015 census at least) still speak Mixtecian. There are many variations to the language and inconsistencies in words, but I used information from the University of Oregon study of Meso-American cultures and info from Mixtec.org itself. Also, this language, like many Asian languages (did someone say fire nation), it is a tonal language, depending on voice tone and inflection to change the meanings of words. And yes I know the Sun Warrior Civilization was based on the Mayans but ya know, creative freedom I guess.
> 
> Boxito - Sun Warrior term of endearment  
> pronounced BO-shi-toe, a Mayan term of endearment, used in the same way as we would use dear or beloved in English.
> 
> The show really explored the moon and ocean spirits and we saw more of them choosing to be mortal and what that meant, and I thought that thinking of the dragons in the same way as Tui and La (moon and ocean) would be interesting, some videos by Hello Future Me on Youtube has a lot of good theories and I'm operating off of most of them being true to the cannon of this fic.
> 
> Sun Warrior Clothing and Tattoos  
> So in doing some research on ancient Maya clothing, traditionally speaking, neither men nor women wore those gold shoulder armor pieces seen worn by the Sun Warriors, which really resembles the French gorget armor piece. It's something that is seen a lot in costumes (mostly by white people) of various Mezo-American cultures (which is its own fucking issue), but could mean two things, either these whities are really just that dumb, or to some extent Mezo-American warriors at some point while being massacred by the invading Spanish and French, picked up a few things including the gorget, but anyway for the purposes of this insignificant fanfic, I'm calling it a gorget just because it's more descriptive. Also, I know in the cannon of the show, none of the Sun Warriors have tattoos and instead are seen with face and body paint, but many Mezo-American cultures had a lot of cultural significance on tattoos so I incorporated them.
> 
> ****THIS****
> 
> So the storyline starts by following the Gaang for the last few episodes of the show then through some events (big stuff like the harmony restoration project) from the comics (which can be found here tinyurl.com/atlacomic you're welcome) but ya know, does other stuff, but anyway, so there are some scenes that are from the show but play out a little different because duh there's a new character involved, but other bits, like the ember island players, I'm not about to transcribe the whole episode, you can just watch the show its on Netflix, so yeah there are some skips over that cause like yeah incredible episode but wtf am I gonna do with that. 
> 
> ****OKTHANKS****

Very near the beginning, the Sun left the spirit world and took on a mortal form. A white dragon. Eventually, there came a time when humans found themselves with the ability to bend the elements, and the first firebender the Sun chanced upon was a woman called Phoenix. She shared with the woman the ways of bending fire, and the woman developed a close bond with the Sun. They remained as companions for the rest of the woman's life, and when Phoenix died, the Sun was stricken with grief and shared a part of itself with her. The fire of the Sun erupted out of the body of Phoenix, and from the ashes formed a human babe. The Sun raised the child as the next Phoenix, who now that she shared part of the spirit of the Sun could bend the same life fire. Overcome with joy in her new companion, the Sun laid an egg, one that hatched a new dragon from which all others would be born. The Sun and Phoenix lived together in peace for many lifetimes. When the time came for the Sun's mortal form to pass on, it returned to the spirit world, and Phoenix remained the link between the Sun and our world in all her lifetimes to follow. As the Sun bid farewell to the physical plane, the first star appeared in the night sky.

* * *

Ajeno warned me that we would have visitors, he had seen them enter the city during his watch. Two of them, a young man and a teenager.

Elder Kache suggested we gather up arms, I agreed that we should be prepared and dismissed myself for council with the Masters, Ajeno warned me that they had gotten passed the sunstone and that I should be swift, I told my people to gather near the temple and went to don the ceremonial robes.

The Masters whispered to me, the Avatar was coming, his companion was the estranged prince of the fire nation. The Masters placed a wreath of multicolored flame around my wrists, it was a blessing for my decision to come, they knew what was in my heart, and I knew what they had in store for me.

As I approached the temple, I saw my people in a circle surrounding the two intruders who were being licked clean of the trap goo by honeyeaters. Before being noticed I put out the blessing flames around my wrists.

My tribe bowed as soon as they noticed me, the Avatar and his companion followed suit.

The Avatar was a young boy, he had clear air bending tattoos, and his companion was a young man, roughly my own age actually, and across the left side of his face was a deep red scar. It was a burn.

"Avatar," They looked at me cautiously, "We are the sun warriors. I am the High Priestess, my name is Phoenix, why have you come to this place?"

"My name is Aang, this is Zuko, we've come to learn more about the source of firebending."

I swept a bolt of fire into the basin on the side of the building where the eternal flame lay.

"This is the eternal flame, it was the original fire given to humans by the dragons, we have kept it alive ever since," I took a flame from the fire, parting it in two and giving them each one.

"Take this flame up the mountain, there you will meet the firebending masters."

And like that, they were gone, up the mountain.

I sat in front of the altar, watching the colorful flames in the basin.

"High Priestess, what should we do now?"

"Go home, rest, I can take it from here."

"Are you sure?" Elder Cienega asked me, distrust on his tongue.

"Yes I'm sure, the Masters have given me instructions, your work is done here."

That seemed to be sufficient to dispel the crowd, only Itzel, my handmaiden, remained. 

"Priestess, are you ok? You seem to have something on your mind," Itzel asked.

"I'm fine, just, you know, pondering the dragons and the Avatar."

"Right," she said, and I could tell she wasn't entirely convinced. 

"Listen Itzel," I glanced around to make sure we were alone. I knew I could trust Itzel but not everyone always agreed with my rule, "There is something I need to do, and while I'm gone, I need you to keep a handle on the Elders, ok? It's very important,"

She nodded. I turned to leave but she grabbed my arm, "Be careful Phoenix," she said.

I smiled and gave her a quick hug, "You know I will."

I stole myself away to gather up a few of my things, and wore my traveling clothes under my ceremonial robes. I knew what I had to do. I took a piece of parchment and wrote a note, one Itzel and the Elders will find later explaining what the dragons tasked me with. 

I packed a small bag with a bedroll and few essentials before going up the mountain, the back way. I arrived to the lair of the Masters first and hid away my pack.

Eventually, I saw them, exhausted from the hike they bowed before me, "Avatar," I greeted.

"High Priestess," they chorused.

"Facing the judgment of the firebending masters will be very dangerous for you," I looked to Zuko, "Your ancestors are directly responsible for the dragons' disappearance," Zuko looked away.

"But, once they find out I'm the Avatar-" Aang started.

I cut him off, "Have you forgotten that you vanished, allowing the Fire Nation to wreak havoc on the world? The decline of the dragons is your burden, too, Avatar," He also looked away.

I stretched my hands out, lighting the fire basins around the platform. I gestured for them to walk up the stairs.

"Those who wish to meet the masters, Ran and Shaw, will now present their fire," I watched as they each stood facing one of the caves.

I pulled the ceremonial horn from the folds of my robes and blew it, sounding the call.

I watched as the Avatar's fire went out, and they began bickering on the bridge, at this rate the Masters will eat them alive.

A few moments later, the dragons came rushing out of their caves, circle around the two boys on the bridge, and luckily for me, they caught on, and began the dragon dance alongside the Masters.

The Masters ended the dance and stood watching them, I bowed respectfully, judgment time.

Then the Masters unleashed the life fire, swirling it in a vortex that pushed through the sky, surrounding the two boys.

Once the dragons had returned to their caves, they came back down the steps, and I heard the Avatar say something along the lines of firebending harmony.

"Yes. They judged you, and gave you visions of the meaning of firebending."

"I can't believe there are still living dragons." Zuko said, "My uncle Iroh said he faced the last dragon and killed it."

Aang turned to him, "So you're Uncle lied."

I smiled, "Actually, it wasn't a total lie. My mother was High Priestess before me, she told me the story of Iroh. He was the last outsider to face the masters. They deemed him worthy and passed the secret onto him as well."

"He must have lied to protect them, so no one else would hunt them," Zuko realized.

Aang turned to me, "All this time, I thought firebending was destruction. Since I hurt Katara, I've been too afraid and hesitant. But now I know what it really is ... it's energy, and life," He smiled.

"Yeah. It's like the Sun," Zuko curled his hand into a fist, "but inside of you. Do you realize this?"

"Well, my civilization is called the Sun Warriors, so yeah," I chuckled.

"That's why my firebending was so weak before. Because for so many years, hunting you" Zuko turned to Aang, "was my drive ... it was my purpose. So when I joined you, I lost sight of my inner fire. But now, I have a new drive. I have to help you defeat my father and restore balance to the world."

"Just as the Masters revealed something to you, they revealed something to me, many years ago."

Aang and Zuko turned to face me.

"My mother had the ability, and my grandmother before her, and now it's been passed on to me," I held my hand out, flickering a multicolored flame across my palm, "The Masters showed you this, it's called life fire, it has the ability to burn impurities, restore life, you might say heal."

They looked at me, both mouth agape, "See, I never really understood why the dragons taught it to my ancestors, or to me, but now I know," I took a step forward, "I'm meant to help you restore peace to the world, my people have been hiding for thousands of years, but the world needs to know that fire isn't destruction, you said it yourself. So Avatar Aang, If you'll have me, I'd like to join your cause."


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reminder of pronunciation, Mokuxa (moe-KU-sha), the Sun Warrior City)

"So Aang has two fire bending masters now?" The one I now knew was Toph asked.

"No, I don't really have much fighting ability, despite being called the Sun Warriors my people haven't had to fight in hundreds of years, think of me as more of a spirit guide to extended fire bending techniques," I said, trying not to sound so timid. I've never met new people before today.

"The Sun Warriors are incredible at traps though," Zuko said, giving me a smile which I returned.

"Well I'm glad to have another girl around," Katara said with a smile. 

"Come on Zuko lets give them a demonstration," Aang said with excitement. 

"This oughta be good," I heard Toph say under her breath.

I sat down with the others, Katara next to me, "Are they any good?" She asked playfully.

"Well, for a bunch of awkward outsiders they try their best," I said quietly, eliciting a giggle from behind Katara's hand.

Zuko and Aang got into position and started the movements.

"With this technique, the dragon's showed us, Zuko and I will be unstoppable," Aang said. Their movements were disciplined and they did moderate justice to the form.

I clapped with the others once they finished. There was something about this brand new situation that was making me feel... warm. I couldn't quite place what it was.

"Yeah that's a great dance you two learned there," Sokka said. 

Before I could say anything Zuko spoke up, "It's not a dance, it's a fire bending form."

"We'll just, tap dance our way to victory over the fire lord," Sokka added.

"It's a sacred form that happens to be thousands of years old!" Zuko said, marching up to Sokka, who suddenly realized I was there.

"Well," I said, drawing everyone's attention to me, "It is called the dancing dragon."

Zuko sighed in frustrated defeat as the group laughed. 

"Hey Phoenix, can I show you around before we have dinner?" Katara asked.

"I would love that, thank you," I said, following her up. 

"I'll come with, I could stretch my legs," joked Teo, rolling his wheeled chair with us as we walked.

The scenery was amazing, all the buildings looked so different from Mokuxa, regardless of even being upside-down.

"So this is the Western Air Temple, the only one that resides underneath a cliff, I used to live at the northern air temple, and it was way different than this one," Teo said.

"What have Aang and Zuko filed you in on?"

"I think the basic stuff, the approaching comet, the Day of Black Sun, the Azula threat, and I guess you guys just reconciled with Zuko?"

"Yeah, more or less," Katara said, glancing away.

It wasn't really my place to push her, so I said nothing.

"Well I'm excited we have more than one fire person, it evens it out a little more for the team," Teo said.

Katara nodded, "And with this war, the more the merrier."

I made a sound of agreement as we stopped to look at a mural.

"Can I ask," Katara said, I turned to her, "Why did you leave your people? After years of staying in hiding and letting people think you were extinct, why come out now?"

I took a moment to think about my answer, "Well, it was the dragons who urged me to. They see more, they know more than me, and I trust the visions they show me. I have a gift that I think has a place in the world of peace that will follow this war."

"Things don't look all that optimistic right now," Katara murmured. 

I nodded, "But the Avatar has a fire bending teacher now."

"I know, and not that I don't have faith in Aang, and that we will win, but it's hard to think of the after part."

"I guess things are different when most of my perspective comes from centuries-old celestial beings."

"Speaking of," Teo interjected, "Did you say you had a gift from the dragons?"

"Oh, yes, it something passed down to every High Priestess from the dragons. The ability of this," I opened my palm to display a small burst of life fire, bending it into swirls and flourishes around us.

"This is called life fire, it's the purest form of fire, the kind the dragons themselves bend. it is peace and purity and healing. It can breathe life into someone on the brink of death,"

"So you're a healer!" Katara said, "I'm a healer, I use water of course, but this is amazing, now I won't be the only one stuck taking care of everyone," She pulled me into an abrupt hug which I returned. It was nice that people seemed to be warming up to me.

"Thanks for your kindness Katara," I laughed, "There weren't many other people my age in my tribe, so it's nice to have a friend."

We pulled apart and she smiled, "Me too, I love Toph but six boys around can be exhausting sometimes and she isn't always the most supportive person."

"Well now that Katara's talked your ear off about bending and friendship, I want to talk about your traps," Teo said.

"Ok, Teo," I smiled, "what do you want to know?"

* * *

"No one can make tea like Uncle, but hopefully I learned a thing or two," Zuko said, pouring the last cup of the dark liquid. 

"Would you like to hear Uncle's favorite tea joke?" He asked, the question was answered with 'yeah' and 'sure' from everyone around the fire. 

Zuko started handing out cups and began "Well I can't remember how it starts, but the punchline goes, 'leaf me alone, I'm bushed'."

The group responded with silence and Zuko looked away bashful, "Well, it's funnier when Uncle tells it,"

"Right," Katara said, "Maybe that's because he remembers the whole thing."

Aang laughed as Zuko handed them their cups, his expression downcast for barely a moment before a content smile graced his face.

"It's nice to get a chance to relax, a little" Toph said, taking her cup from Zuko, "it hardly ever happens."

Zuko offered me a cup and I took it, thanking him. I've never had tea before, but it smelled nice, and it was warm going down my throat. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Zuko and Sokka step aside to talk in private. I wonder what that's about. 

The next morning when I woke up it took me a minute to take in my surroundings and remember the previous day's activities. I wasn't at home anymore, I was at the Air Temple with the avatar and his friends. 

The sun was barely over the horizon. Sometimes always waking up at the break of dawn is great and sometimes I feel even more exhausted than the previous day.

I immediately went to find somewhere to wash up. As I made my way back to camp I saw a few people were up already.

"Oh, Phoenix, good, thought we'd lost you," said Aang walking over to me.

"Good morning Avatar, and you can't get rid of me that easily," I said.

"Sokka and Zuko left this morning to get some more fish and meat and in his absence, Zuko left me with a substitute teacher, you."

"Oh ok," I said, "lead the way then and we can get started."

I followed the Avatar to a small courtyard-like area, it was very scenic and out of the way of the rest of the group.

"So did Zuko leave you with any combat forms to practice?" I asked.

"Yeah, I have to do a whole set every time a badger-frog croaks."

"Wow," I smiled, "Zuko doesn't play around. A substitute and homework?"

The young Avatar grumbled.

"Well let's start with a short meditation," Aang brightened up, "And then I'll take you through all of the Sun Warrior basic forms," and he grumbled again.

* * *

When Zuko and Sokka returned, it turned out they hadn't gone for food, much to Toph's disappointment, and had instead broken some people out of prison, Katara and Sokka's dad, Sokka's girlfriend, Suki, who's a Kyoshi warrior (and I'm not entirely sure what that means but it sounds impressive), and they brought along with them some man named Chit Shang who helped them escape. 

The camp was getting pretty full. It almost felt like my tribe, but with different faces, new faces. 

I woke one day to an earthquake, or maybe not an earthquake. As my eyes adjusted to the sun still struggling to get over the horizon, I saw the Avatar running towards giant airships which were hurling big boxes that exploded at us.

I was barely on my feet when Aang rushed into the enclave and airbended giant steel blinds closed around us, barricading us in. 

Before I knew what was happening, the ceiling above us started to crack, I looked up and saw a rock falling towards Katara. 

At the same time, Zuko and I launched towards her, pushing her out of the way with our combined force. 

We landed in a heap and I helped Katara up, trying to make sure she was ok since she landed on the ground first.

"Thank you Phoenix, you may have just saved my life,"

"Of course, Zuko helped too," I said, giving a now on his feet Zuko a nod.

Katara gave him a pointed glance and stepped away. Zuko and I shared a look, I wasn't sure what history they had but it clearly hurt him.

Toph and Haku earthbended a tunnel into one of the walls and Toph yelled, "Come on, we can get out through here."

I rushed towards them when I heard Aang yell "Zuko, what are you doing?"

I turned, Zuko wasn't behind me anymore, he was by the barricade.

"Go ahead, I'll hold them off. I think this is a family visit," he said.

Katara and Sokka rushed up to Aang as they called after him.

"Come on," Sokka said, "We've got to get out of here."

They managed to pull Appa a foot or so closer to the tunnel. I saw a new explosion box hit the screen which was starting to crumble away, and Zuko disappeared into the smoke. 

"I can't get Appa to go into that tunnel," Aang said, the sky bison grumbling in defiance.

I didn't hear the next few things over the shaking of the Earth, but then Sokka turned around, "We have to split up, it's our best chance," he ran over to us, "take the tunnel and get to the stolen airship."

Katara ran over to him, "No, the fire nation can't separate our family again," she said.

Her father placed his hands on her shoulders, "It'll be ok, and it's not forever," 

A beat passed before Sokka and Katara embraced their father and ran back to Aang, Suki in tow. 

I looked between the two groups. The dragons told me to serve the Avatar, protect the Avatar. And now with fire nation airships attacking, I have to do what I can, what I must.

"Here," I said, taking a torch from a discarded pack on the ground, lighting it with life fire and handing it to Hakoda, "As long as you don't get this wet, it won't go out,"

He nodded and I ran towards the Avatar's sky bison.

"I can clear that bit and we can fly out through there," Toph said, gesturing to the rock cover she had created earlier.

"Uh, there's a lot of fire in that general direction," Suki said.

I boosted myself up with a burst of flame, landing in Appa's saddle.

"Fire? I can help with that," I said.

Aang gave me a nod and I moved closer to Appa's head, preparing myself to bend a lot of other people's fire out of our way.

With a crash of Toph's earthbending and Appa's lift-off, we were in the sky, Toph sustaining an earthen shield around Appa as we flew.

It protected us from a burst of blue fire from who I assumed was Azula and we got passed the first ship.

Fire started coming at us from all directions and I bended it into a large cyclone around us, then blasted it back at the sources, knocking a few soldiers from pedestals on the ships. Katara joined me with an aerial of water to deflect some of the blazes as I counter fired. Aang pulled a fancy flying move as we saw an explosion on another ship, and a gangly body that looked like Zuko falling into the chasm. 

We swooped down Katara holding out her arm as she was closest, and Zuko tumbled into the saddle.

We all looked back towards Azula who was still falling.

"She's... not gonna make it," Zuko said, a strange realization in his voice.

Just then Azula burst blue flame from her feet propelling her into the side of a cliff and a blade in the rock stopped her descent into the abyss.

"Of course she did," Zuko said after a moment, anger welling in his throat. 

* * *

When we landed the sun was descending into the horizon. It was a small grassy plateau on a tall hill, perfect for the night. 

As everyone started building their tents I laid down my bedroll and took a seat, meaning to pull out my journal to write more about the day's events. Journal keeping was something my mother did before I was born, and her mother before her, it's how we passed down information.

Toph had finished her rock hut in just a few seconds and came over to me, "Hey there Nix, have you not got a tent?"

"Nix?" I asked, wondering where the sudden nickname came from.

Toph shrugged, waiting for me to answer her question.

"I didn't have a tent, we Sun Warriors spend many a night under the tiny suns, or what you call stars. It's kind of a celebratory practice actually,"

Toph stomped her foot twice and a rocky overhang formed over top of me, "Well, in case it rains," she grumbled.

"Thanks, Toph," I said with a smile, "that's really thoughtful,"

"It was nothing, I just didn't want you coming to my rock fort in the middle of the night if it started to rain."

Despite her gruff demeanor, Toph's genuine expression of friendship was heartwarming. No one in the tribe ever treated me like that, they only treated me like the priestess. Not like a person.

We gathered around the fire for dinner, the night dark. It was strange to have our group size cut in half, only seven of us left now. Not that I didn't think Teo and Haku and the others were safe, but I was already starting to miss them. They were all such new and different and unique people. It felt so wonderfully different than the tribe. But in its own way, it was a tribe.

"Wow, camping," Aang said over his tofu, "it really feels like old times again,"

"If you really want it to seem like old times, I could, uh, chase you around and try to capture you," Zuko said, eliciting a laugh from the group. His sense of humor was dark sometimes but I enjoyed it. 

Katara seemed uneasy next to me, I turned to her and she wasn't laughing, her brows were knit in a soft scowl and her eyes downcast.

My attention was brought away by Sokka who held up his cup and said, "To Zuko, who knew that after all those years he tried to snuff us out, today he'd be our hero,"

"Here, here!" we chorused, toasting our drinks. 

Zuko seemed mildly startled from all the positive attention, "I'm touched, I.. don't deserve this," he said.

Suddenly next to me, Katara was standing, "Yeah, no kidding," and then she walked away.

"What's with her?" Sokka asked as Zuko rose to his feet.

"I wish I knew," He said, following after her. 

"What's with him?" Sokka asked, to which Suki put a hand on his arm.

"Well," Aang said after a moment of silence, "We should probably clear up,"

"I'll help you Aang," I said, standing to help collect empty dishes. 

We walked towards the shore and Aang did most of the work to clean the dishes, waterbending and airbending. 

"Why do you think Katara is lashing out at Zuko?" I asked, passing him dirty dishes.

"Well," he said, "I could be a lot of things. They were imprisoned together in Ba Sing Se, and she trusted him until he betrayed her and returned to Azula's side. Betrayal is kind of hard for Katara to forgive."

I nodded.

"Besides that, there could be some general distrust since the fire nation killed Katara and Sokka's mom, she may be blaming all fire benders for her death."

"Thank you for telling me, you're very insightful Aang,"

He beamed at me.

"On occasion of course," I added with a smile.

"Hey!" he said, laughing.

We walked back to the tents, Aang went to put the dishes away in Appa's saddle and I boosted myself with a little fire to sit on top of the rock overhang Toph made me.

The tiny suns were beautiful tonight. 

Suddenly Zuko was shoved from Sokka's tent and I made eye contact with him, before I could invite him to sit with me Sokka's head peaked out from the tent whisper-yelling "SUKI." until he realized Zuko was still right there and he retreated back into the tent with a casual whistle. 

"Hey, Zuko," I said.

"Hey, Phoenix," he replied.

"Care to join me?" I asked, patting a spot on the rock beside me.

He offered me a smile and lifted himself up. He was a bit taller than me and didn't quite need the help of firebending to reach the top.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Frustrated, confused, tired," He sighed, leaning back to lay down on the rock slab, his feet swinging over the edge.

"Aang filed me in on why Katara is upset with you," I said, joining him in looking up at the tiny suns, er, stars.

"Well, I talked to Sokka and I think I know who took their mother,"

"Really?" I asked, turning my attention to Zuko.

"Yeah, he told me the flag on their ships and I know who it belonged to."

"So you're going to try to find them and do what, kill them?"

"No, I, I want to take Katara there, let her kill him herself."

Despite even knowing what happened to Katara, I didn't think that killing the man who did this to her was going to make hew feel better. In fact, I wasn't entirely convinced either of them had it in their hearts to take a life. But I wanted to show that I was on their side, so instead, I asked, "You think this is a safe endeavor?"

"Katara can hold her own, and after everything you and the dragons taught me I'm back to being a more than capable firebender."

"You have a point, I suppose, but don't forget the meaning of what they taught you," I said, "Fire is not violence, and it's not destruction. Don't lose yourself in anger Zuko."

He was silent for a moment, "Well, either way, I'm gonna tell her the plan tomorrow, hopefully we'll leave then, we can't really waste much time,"

I nodded slowly, "Right, well, before you go at least, let me give you something," I said, slipping from the rock onto the ground.

Zuko followed after me and I rummaged in my pack for my ceremonial necklace.

The necklace is built with a small glass chamber in the pendent, normally empty but sometimes filled with a small flame of life fire, to be used in case harm ever came to the high priestess, I never needed to use it, but if I could send it with Zuko, he might be able to help Katara in case something happens. 

"This pendant is built to hold life fire in it, it's used in case of emergencies and this seems kind of like one." I filled the small chamber with a small multicolored glowing life fire, "You can use it to heal non-deadly injuries in case it comes up, enough to bring Katara to consciousness if she's dying, enough that she would be able to heal herself from there."

He nodded.

I placed the beads around his neck. Heat rose to my cheeks at the sight of Zuko wearing even such a small amount of Sun Warrior regalia. 

"Now I'll just teach you the basics of holding life fire, and it's important you know how to handle since only a priestess or dragon can actually produce it. So if something happens to this flame you're out of luck."

"Right,"

I created a life flame in my hand and gently passed it to Zuko, the flame danced around his palm, not secure but certainly alive and well.

We passed it back and form for a few minutes until he had a good handle on it, "It feels hotter than normal fire." he said.

"It does feel that way at first, but when applied for purification or healing it reveals different properties," I moved to place my hand on the exposed skin of his arm and he flinched away.

"Wait, " he said, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

I looked at the scar covering his left eye. Maybe it was insensitive of me. "Zuko, it won't burn you," I said softly.

"I know, I just," he looked at me for a moment before stepping closer, holding his right arm out.

I gave him a reassuring smile, "You can close your eyes if you want."

He nodded and his eyes fluttered closed. I carefully placed my hand with the life fire directly onto his arm, the flames continued to jump and twist out from under my palm.

He laughed lightly, "It tickles."

I moved my hand up and down his arm to show that it left no burn.

"It feels kind of nice actually," he said, opening his eyes again to look at me, "kind of pleasantly warm, soothing."

"Can I see your knife?" I asked, nodding to the one I knew was hidden in his robes.

"Sure," he passed it to me, "What for?"

I slid the knife across my left palm, beads of blood quickly forming and flowing onto the grass.

"Phoenix!" He said surprised, reaching for my hand.

I pulled it out of the way, offering him his knife back, "I'm going to have you practice using it to heal."

He begrudgingly went silent and after a moment nodded.

I lit a life fire in my right hand and passed it to him, he held it towards my left hand, which was starting to really sting.

"You're going to place the hand over, it doesn't need to touch the skin but it may be easier to control that way," I said.

He placed his hand over the cut, and I could already start to feel it taking effect. It was searing and scalding as it drove out the impurities and I bit the inside of the cheek trying not to call out.

"Good, now you have to feel the fire, feel its heartbeat, and let it slowly drive out the pain, don't go too fast or you may lose control."

"Are you ok?" he asked?

"Yeah," I said, breathless, "The actual purification process can be painful, but it's just how it works."

He nodded.

I felt the fire start to get wilder, which meant he was going to quickly, "Easy now," I said, and it cleared up, until the tickling sensation started, meaning that my palm was restored. I let out a breath. 

"Ok, take a look," I said, and he slowly pulled his hand back, the life fire in his palm still ignited. 

All evidence of the cut was gone, "Wow," he said, "I can't believe it worked."

I smiled, and he reached out towards me again. Then my hand was in his, and I looked down to our interlocked fingers, the multi-colored flames flickering from between them.

"Will it heal my scar?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"It drives out impurity, if your scar is a part of who you are the fire won't do much for it. Teo asked me to heal his legs, but the fire didn't see anything that needed to be fixed or purified when I tried. It's not healing water," I said, looking into his eyes. I hadn't realized how gold they were before, bordering on yellow even. 

He took both of my hands now, "Can you try?"

I nodded.

"Don't be disappointed if it-"

"I know."

"Ok."

I brought my right hand up to his scar, life fire between my fingers. Zuko held his breath.

"Breathe Zuko," I said, and he did, his hand squeezing mine that remained in his grasp.

My thumb touched the scar first, and as the flames jumped to kiss his skin I knew I wouldn't work. But I traced the contour of his cheekbone with my fingertips anyway. Starting by his nose I brushed my knuckles over his browbone, trying to will the flames to fulfill his wish, to repair the skin. They didn't.

I rested my palm on his cheek, letting the flames die.

His eyes opened. I didn't need to say anything.

Before he had the chance to escape I pulled him into a hug, holding him firmly despite his height advantage over me.

After a moment he hugged back.

"I'm sorry, Zuko."

He sighed, his breath tickling my neck. 

"Thank you, Phoenix."

"For what?" I asked, pulling away from him to look at him.

He placed a hand over the pendant, "The fire, and for trying..." a sad smile found it's way to his expression.

I nodded, "I only wish I could do more."

He shook his head, "I think you helped more than you realize."

"Ok... let me know if you need anything. Sometimes all we need is quiet company, and that's ok too."

"Thank you... and I can't wait for you to meet my uncle, you two would get along well- I mean, not that I want you to meet him- not that I don't- I mean- if you wanted of course- not that I would pressure you or-"

"Zuko," I tried to stifle my laugh, unsuccessfully of course, "It's ok, and I would be honored to meet your uncle, my mother spoke highly of him," I said, noting Zuko's blush.

"Do you miss your mother?" he asked suddenly.

"Um, in a way I suppose... I uh, never met her." 

"I'm sorry," he said, eyes finding mine.

I held my tongue. I didn't want to say too much, "Do you miss your mother?" I asked instead.

"Yeah..." he looked away, "did any of us have normal childhoods?" He asked, a slightly cynical smile on his face.

"What's normal?" I asked, turning to look at the dying fire in the center of the tent circle. 

Zuko gave a wry laugh and said "Good point."

We stood there quietly for a few minutes before Zuko said, "I think I'm going to stay outside Katara's tent and wait for her until the morning."

"Are you sure, sounds kind of reckless to me, you'd be better off getting a good night's rest," I said.

Zuko turned to look at me. He needed to prove something, to Katara and himself. He wouldn't budge.

"Ok well make sure you eat something during the night, you'll need your strength for tomorrow, and you're welcome to hang out under my rock overhang in case it rains."

He smiled at me and said, "Thank you Phoenix," and he bowed to me.

"Oh, uh, you're welcome," I said, returning the bow and watching him tuck the life fire pendant under his tunic before walking over to a rock near Katara's tent.

I turned to my bedroll and packed away my journal and ink quill from earlier. My head was spinning a little bit and I knew I just needed to get some sleep.


	3. Chapter 2

I was up by sunrise, before the rest of the group, so I took a stroll, finding a creek to wash up a bit. By the time I got back to camp, a few people were up, and I joined Aang by Appa, who was feeding the bison.

I spotted Zuko across the campsite. He was still sitting outside Katara's tent, he really must have been there all night.

"So, Aang, how do you think your firebending training is going?" I asked to make conversation.

"I think it's going well, especially now that I'm getting a hang on the Sun Warrior forms, they're really helping with all the stuff Zuko is teaching me."

"Good, I hoped so," I said, spotting Katara and Zuko headed our way.

"Aang," Katara said, "I need to borrow Appa."

"Why?" he turned to her, "is it your turn to take a little field trip with Zuko?"

I glanced at Zuko, who gave me a nod.

"Yes," Katara said, defiance in her tone, "it is."

Aang seemed shocked, "Oh... what's going on?"

"We're going to find the man who took my mother from me."

I glanced over to see Sokka who was now invested in what was going on, he was walking towards us.

"Sokka told me the story of what happened," Zuk continued, "I know who did it. And I know how to find him."

"Um, and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?" Aang said, apprehensive. 

I was going to interject in support, but Katara scoffed, turning away, "I knew you wouldn't understand."

"Katara," I said, forcing her to stop, "I think we all understand what it's like for those we love to be lost at the hands of the fire nation." Everyone was looking at me now, "Listen, my name isn't just Phoenix, I am the phoenix, my ancestors were born from the spirit of the sun, one that resides in me and every dragon that's ever breathed on this Earth. Every time I feel the sun I'm reminded of my countless brethren who were slaughtered by the hands of the fire nation for glory, as if they were monsters, beasts." I turned to Aang, "If I had the chance to avenge those deaths, I would, and you would too Avatar, your people were wiped out, and so were Sokka and Katara's," I turned back to Katara, "There is no right way to deal with grief, and if this is what Katara needs then it's what she needs. The only person to know Katara better than Sokka is you Aang, you have to know if this is what she thinks is right for her then you have to respect that and trust her."

There was a moment of shocked silence, and Aang looked at Katara, "The monks used to say that revenge was like a two-headed ratviper, while your enemy goes down, you're being poisoned yourself, I trust you Katara, but I don't think revenge is what you need."

Sokka interjected, "I miss mom too Katara, but I think Aang may be right, I don't want to see what this might do to you."

"Listen," Zuko said, "This is the real world, and that man is still out there."

"And now that I know where to find him," Katara continued, " I have to do this, I owe it to all the water tribe lives that were lost. It's not a choice anymore."

"Katara, you do still have a choice, forgiveness." Aang took a step closer.

"That's the same as doing nothing," Zuko said.

"Well..." I added, trying to find a way to articulate the benefits of forgiveness, especially when it was the dragons who forgave Zuko for his family's destruction of them.

"No," Aang interrupted, "it's easy to do nothing, but it's hard to forgive."

"It's not just hard," Katara said, "It's impossible." 

She turned and started walking, Zuko behind her. Sokka went after them.

I turned to look at Aang, who refused to make eye contact, watching Katara walk away. 

"Aang," I said, trying to get his attention.

Eventually, he turned to me, "And you're a spirit? How did I not know?" 

I could tell he was upset, but it wasn't really about me.

"I'm part spirit, yes, but we both know that's not important right now,"

He sighed.

"You know this is what Katara needs right?"

"Yes..."

"She needs to face this man, and I'm not entirely convinced that she would go through with ending him. You've made too much of an impact on her."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"No, but very few things are sure in this life."

He made a sound of agreement and pondered my words. I left him with some time to think, walking back to the tents.

* * *

It seemed that I was right about Katara, and while she certainly didn't forgive the man, she had spared him, and even Zuko agreed that violence wasn't the answer, which I had hoped I had helped to teach him, but I was glad to see his change of heart nevertheless. 

Right now, we were landing on Ember Island, at Zuko's childhood vacation home which he assured us was abandoned. 

While Zuko kept training Aang, Suki was helping teach me hand-to-hand combat, something a High Priestess was never meant to study in my tribe.

"The biggest thing about fighting without a weapon is making sure all your actions are deliberate and measured, it's almost like bending without the bending," she said.

"Right," I replied, holding the ready stance she had taught me. 

"We're gonna start with a few basic evasion maneuvers, and I want you to keep all your movements, deliberate,"

I nodded, following her lead.

* * *

The house was big and half-falling apart, so we opted to all set up our sleeping rolls in one of the sitting rooms, lighting a fire in the fire pit in the middle of the room to keep us warm.

I drifted off into an easy sleep, and was met with a vision. 

I was a dragon, one my great-grandmother had known, named Ajo. I remember reading about her in the scrolls, and I knew what happened to her.

There was a sound behind me and I turned to see a human man, older, with greying hair.

Ajo was ancient and reclusive, the rest of the dragons knew not to bother her. She was the last purple dragon, and as such, I expected what came next.

There was an intense heat across my body, searing, burning. I struggled in the tight cave to get a good angle on the human, to fight back, but he was able to get through my scales, to burn away my insides.

Before I knew it my vision was blurring and I fell to the ground, unable to fight. I looked into Sozin's yellow eyes before the world turned black.

I jolted upright, my breath fast and my heart beating heavily, banging on my ribcage.

I looked round to get my bearings. I'm with my friends, everything is fine, the fire was just embers by my feet but I could still feel it's warmth.

"Are you ok?" I looked over to the voice, it was Zuko.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, scooting closer to the fire and relighting it.

"Trouble sleeping?"

"Yeah," I said, "you too?"

He nodded.

"Phoenix can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What do your tattoos mean?"

"Why do you want to know?" I asked, tilting my head in curiosity.

He shrugged, "I don't know, I guess I just need to think about something other than the comet."

I nodded, "Yeah..." I looked down to my torso, and the tattoos on my exposed midriff. I stood on my knees closer to the fire, adjusting the bottom edge of my top to show more of the tattoo, which stretched across almost all my body. "Well, In our culture, tattoos are a sign of power, courage, and bravery. They're detailed illustrations to show bits of creation or scenes of the dragons."

"What do yours show?" he asked, scooting around the fire to sit next to me, inspecting the ink closer.

I bit my lip, do I tell him? It's not like I've been specifically told to never tell anyone... It's just not something I've ever really told someone, my tribe all knows even though it's never spoken of. My origins are sacred.

And I know I mentioned it to them a few days ago, but I've specifically not brought it up again.

"It has to do with me being part spirit," I said, slowly.

"Do you not want everyone to know?" He asked.

"Not yet, not fully," I said.

"Ok, I won't share."

"Thank you," I said, taking a deep breath, searching his expression one last time, "Ok. Very near the beginning, the Sun left the spirit world and took on a mortal form. A white dragon. Eventually, there came a time when humans found themselves with the ability to bend the elements, and the first firebender the Sun chanced upon was a woman called Phoenix. She shared with the woman the ways of bending fire, and the woman developed a close bond with the Sun. They remained as companions for the rest of the woman's life, and when Phoenix died, the Sun was stricken with grief and shared a part of itself with her. The fire of the Sun erupted out of the body of Phoenix, and from the ashes formed a human babe. The Sun raised the child as the next Phoenix, who now that she shared part of the spirit of the Sun could bend the same life fire. Overcome with joy in her new companion, the Sun laid an egg, one that hatched a new dragon from which all others would be born. The Sun and Phoenix lived together in peace for many lifetimes. When the time came for the Sun's mortal form to pass on, it returned to the spirit world, and Phoenix remained the link between the Sun and our world in all her lifetimes to follow. As the Sun bid farewell to the physical plane, the first star appeared in the night sky."

Zuko was silent for a moment, and I leaned back covering my tattoos with my arms, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

"So, do you remember your past lives, like Aang?" he asked.

"No," I said, "they're not exactly past lives, they are my ancestors, my mother was the Phoenix that came before me, and my grandmother the one before her. There is no connection between us exactly, I was just born of my mother's death."

"Oh," he said, looking into the fire.

"I know it's a lot to take in..." I said. Maybe I shouldn't have told him. I mean with everything going on, is this just one more random thing to have on his mind?

Zuko went quiet again for a moment, staring into the flames, "I'm sorry you never knew your mother."

I scooted closer to him, linking our arms together. "I'm sorry you lost yours," I said.

He glanced at me with a sad smile.

"How did she disappear?" I asked.

He took a deep breath.

"I was 13. I remember she came into my room in the middle of the night. All I remember is her telling me that she loved me, and that everything she did was for us, Azula and I. I never saw her again."

"Was it...?"

"My father? Yes."

I nodded. Zuko's father deserves to leave the earth. To abuse his children? Steal their mother? not to mention the war and atrocities his line has committed against the world and the dragons.

"Nix?" He asked after a moment.

"I see Toph's nickname is catching on," I said, managing to get him to smile.

"Thank you."

"Thank me? For what?"

"Listening. It's been a long time since I had genuine support from someone."

I turned to him, "Of course, it's nice to have someone to talk to. And honestly, I feel like we have a connection, maybe because of the dragons, but I don't know really..."

"What do the dragons have to do with this?" He seemed suddenly guarded, his tone losing some of its warmth.

"Well," I said suddenly wanting to pick my words carefully, "the dragons showed me a vision of you and Aang, you were both wearing ceremonial robes, and smiling. I think it was a vision of after the war. But when I saw it I knew that you were important."

He looked into the fire, "So you're just here because the dragons sent you?"

"Well, yeah at first, but I've been thinking about what happens after this is over. I'm not sure I would be ready to go back." I admitted. Did I really feel that way?

"Really?" he asked, glancing back at me.

"Yeah, I think so. I want Suki to teach me to fight with a weapon, and I want you to teach me to fight with my bending. There's so much about the world that I could never imagine. Like, I knew about oceans, but to actually see one? And mountains and forests and rivers and valleys, it's amazing and beautiful and I want to see it all, learn about as much of it as I can."

He smiled, "You know, I have an ex-girlfriend,"

I cut him off, the thought of Zuko with a girlfriend suddenly brought laughter of disbelief out of me, "You had a girlfriend?" I asked.

"Yes," He said, blushing and throwing me a grumpy look, "She was, very different from you..."

"Do you miss her?" I asked.

"I don't know, she kind of attacked us at the Boiling Rock, and then she may have helped save us? I'm not sure..."

"Wow, that sounds... healthy," I said.

He sighed, "That's the thing about her. Even though we were happy from time to time, the relationship was strained, sometimes it felt toxic, and I'm not sure if it was her or me."

"What happened?"

"Well, we met when we were kids, and I had a crush on her, and then when I briefly rejoined the fire nation, we got together. We both had our own problems, I was too emotional and got jealous, and she hardly ever shared her emotions with me, it was a mess, and I don't think it was ever a functional relationship."

"Do you miss her?" I asked again, softer this time.

He nodded, barely, like he was admitting something he was afraid of.

"Come here Boxito," I said, pulling him into a hug. He hugged back.

"What's Boxito?" he asked quietly.

"It's a term of endearment in my tribe, this is often how the elders would console me when I was younger," I said, humming one of our blessing songs for heartache and loss.

Eventually, I think Zuko fell asleep, so I pulled my blanket close and laid him in it, putting out the fire and walking around to find another spot on the floor.

I thought about my tribe, thought about my stars, the tiny suns, the lost dragons from over the past millennia. Itzel's birthday is soon, my handmaiden and the closest thing I had to a friend. I wonder if she misses me. I didn't think I would miss her this much.

I just needed to hear Nesimo's drum beats and Xacuk's singing. I needed to dance with the tribe, practice bending with the elders, trade stories with Itzel. Be home.

I turned onto my side, looking at my new friends sleeping around the embers of the night's fire.

This past week or so has been amazing, but I'm exhausted from all the newness. I sighed, humming a verse of the same song I hummed for Zuko, eventually drifting into sleep. 

* * *

Training picked up as normal the next day, Suki teaching me offensive techniques for hours, I wasn't sure I was getting any better, but by the time I was thoroughly exhausted Suki assured me I was improving. We were taking a short break with the rest of the team when Sokka ran into the courtyard, interrupting the conversation. 

"Guys, guys, I was in town and you'll never believe what I found," He held aloft a poster, "It's a play about us!"

"What?" Katara asked, coming closer.

We crowded around him as Suki read off the poster, "The Boy in the Iceberg is a new production from acclaimed playwright Pu-on Tim, who scoured the globe gathering information on the Avatar, from the icy South Pole to the heart of Ba Sing Se. His sources include singing nomads, pirates, prisoners of war, and a surprisingly knowledgeable merchant of cabbage."

Sokka continued, "Brought to you by the Ember Island players."

"Ugh," Zuko exclaimed, "My mother used to take us to see them. They butchered Love Amongst the Dragons every year."

"Love Amongst the Dragons?" I asked incredulously.

"A trashy and patriotic love story, really not worth the time," he said, waving his hand.

"Sokka," Katara interjected, "Do you really think it's a good idea for us to attend a play about ourselves?"

"Come on, a day at the theatre? This is the kind of wacky time-wasting nonsense that I've been missing," Sokka said.

"I don't know it could be fun," I said, sitting next to Zuko on the stone ledge of the fountain, "I'd love to see the Team Avatar origin story in a theatrical debut."

"Great, so we'll go tonight!" Sokka said, rushing back into the house.

* * *

I sat in between Katara and Toph, marveling at the architecture of the building, this was nothing like the kinds of theatres we had in Mokuxa, mostly because those were outdoor amphitheaters and half-ruined. 

"Why are we sitting in the nosebleeds section?" Toph asked, "My feet can't see a thing from up here."

"Don't worry," Katara said, "Nix and I will tell your feet what's happening," she looked at me with a smile and we turned to the stage as the lights dimmed. 

Well when Intermission rolled around, Katara certainly wasn't smiling anymore. 

"So far, this intermission is the best part of the play." Zuko said next to me, his arms crossed.

"Apparently," Sokka added, "this playwright thinks I'm just an idiot, who tells bad jokes about meat all the time." He added to his point by taking a big bite of whatever jerky substance he had just returned with. 

"Yeah," Suki offered, "You tell bad jokes about plenty of other topics."

"I know!"

"At least the Sokka actor kinda looks like you," Aang said, "That woman playing the Avatar doesn't resemble me at all!"

"I don't know," Toph added, "You are more in touch with your feminine side than most guys,"

Aang groaned.

"Relax Aang, they're not accurate portrayals. It's not like I'm a preachy crybaby who can't resist giving overemotional speeches about hope all the time." Katara said. 

I cringed slightly, managing to think of at least three examples since I've been traveling with the team.

Katara caught onto our silence, "What?" she asked, holding up her hands.

"Yeah... that's not you at all," Aang said.

"Listen friends," Toph interjected, "it's obvious that the playwright did his research. I know it must hurt, but what you're seeing up there on that stage is the truth."

The intermission before the final act rolled around, and I think by now I was really starting to see this play for what it was. Fire nation propaganda.

After a few moments of standing in the lobby Suki said, "It seems like every time there's a big battle, you guys barely make it out alive. I mean, you guys lose a lot!"

Sokka, who looked exhausted spoke up "You're one to talk, Suki. Didn't Azula take you captive? That's right, she did!"

Suki looked at him seriously, "Are you trying to get on my bad side?"

He glanced away and sheepishly added, "Just saying..."

Katara appeared around the corner, "Has anyone seen Aang?"

"He left to get me fire gummies like 20 minutes ago," Sokka said.

Katara muttered something about checking outside and walked off towards the balcony. 

After a few more moments Suki and Sokka rushed off to find the actors backstage and just Toph, Zuko, and I were left by the door, so I slid to the ground to join Zuko in a sitting position.

"Geez," Toph said, joining us on the floor, "everyone's getting so upset about their characters. Even Zuko seems more down than usual, and that's saying something!"

I chuckled.

Zuko looked down. "You don't get it, it's different for you, Toph. You get a muscly version of yourself, taking down ten bad guys at once, and making sassy remarks."

"Yeah, that is pretty great," she added.

"But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself."

I placed a silent hand on Zuko's which was clenched into a fist at his side. At the contact, he relaxed a little.

"You have redeemed yourself to your uncle. You don't realize it, but you already have." Toph said, her voice gentle for a change.

"How do you know?" Zuko asked, turning to Toph but his hand twisting around to hold mine.

"Because I once had a long conversation with the guy, and all he would talk about was you."

Zuko looked down in disbelief. "Really?"

"Yeah," Toph nodded, "it was kind of annoying, but it was also very sweet. All your uncle wanted was for you to find your own path, and see the light. Now you're here with us. He'd be proud." She then punched him square in the shoulder.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"That's how I show affection." 

I laughed as Zuko pulled his hand from mine and rubbed his shoulder. 

Just then a little boy in an Aang costume ran by, looking at Zuko, "Your Zuko costume is good but the scar is on the wrong side."

Zuko bristled, calling after the little boy, "It's not on the wrong side!"

This time Toph laughed with me, as Zuko pulled his hood back on and slouched down against the wall. 

The play's ending left us in a little bit of shock, and while I definitely wasn't upset that I wasn't in it, the ending didn't leave much for interpretation in how this fight was going to end. The fire nation is victorious, and while it's certainly something we've all thought about, it was different to see it acted out on stage, and for a huge crowd to be cheering over our defeat.

So it wasn't a good play, that much was obvious.

Once we returned to our makeshift camp at Zuko's childhood vacation home, Katara pulled me aside, asking for some help with some of the laundry that needed to be finished tonight. I thought it was a strange request as she normally asks Aang, since he can actually waterbend, but I excused myself from my conversation with Toph and Zuko nonetheless and followed her to the fountain in the courtyard. 

We arrived at the fountain with the sacks of clothes and started going through everything. 

"Sorry to pull you away, I just needed to talk to someone..." Katara said after a moment.

"No, it's fine, I'm happy to help," I said, "What's going on?"

"Well, when we were waiting at the playhouse during the second intermission, Aang and I got to talking..."

"Uh, ok? About what?"

"Well... ok so on the day of black sun, we invaded the fire nation, it obviously didn't go as planned, but before it happened, Aang and I kissed..."

"Oh," I said, pausing what I was doing to glance at her.

"And the thing is, I don't know why I did it... I mean I like him, but there's just so much going on right now. And then during the play..."

"Right, the little brother comment."

"Exactly, so then as we were out on the balcony, he brought up the kiss and I told him I wasn't sure what we were, or how I felt."

"Well that makes sense," I said, "you are planning to defeat the Fire Lord in just a few days."

Katara cringed, "About that..."

"About what...? Last I checked that was still the plan."

"Well, the whole point for the comet was to give the Fire Nation the power to take Ba Sing Se, but it's already fallen, so we've been planning to attack after the comet comes, Aang needs more time to master firebending, and honestly could brush up on water and earth..."

I nodded, "That makes sense I guess, but you are getting off-topic, Katara."

"Ah, right, so anyway, he tried to kiss me, right after I told him that I was feeling confused and overwhelmed."

"He didn't!" I exclaimed.

"He did," she looked at me with disdain.

"Ugh, what an idiot. I should take a wack at beating him up a little bit, maybe I could convince Zuko to go extra hard on him tomorrow."

"No it's ok, Nix," she smiled, "but thank you, and thanks for defending me about the whole thing with the Southern Raiders, I know in the end the right thing was to show mercy, but it meant a lot to know you were on my side."

"In my tribe, women are strong and powerful warriors. The sun spirit is referred to with feminine pronouns and chose a woman to lead the people. So obviously women are respected as those of the sun. I know you're a waterbender, but I see those qualities in you. And I knew ultimately you would make the right decision no matter what that looked like. And if you do decide that when this is all over you like Aang, your boundaries should be the most important thing to him."

"I know, and it's not really an issue we have very often, but after watching a twisted version of me throw herself at men on stage that are all people I actually know, I just felt so weird and uncomfortable, and then for Aang to decide now was the time to... ugh I don't even know."

"Has he said anything else about it?" I asked.

"No, he has been keeping his distance, which makes me think his lapse in judgment was temporary."

I nodded, "That sounds like the least he could do to me, but I'm glad."

Katara chuckled, finishing up the last garment. We stretched out a line and hung the clothes up for Katara to bend the last of the water from them. We folded in a much lighter conversation, which was nice, it felt like I had a friend, and it was especially nice when she laughed at my jokes.

By the time we got back, almost everyone was asleep except for Zuko who was staring ominously into the fire.

Katara and I laid out the clothes by their owners and I got into my sleeping roll, tossing a small life fire flame at Zuko, next to me, who forced himself out of his trance to catch it.

"Maybe you should get some sleep," I said nodding to the rest of our friends who had dozed off.

He looked at me, sighed, and flopped onto his back on his bedroll. His eyes were still open, but I wagered that was the best I would get from him. He clearly had something on his mind.

I turned over, letting the warmth from the fire carry me off to sleep.

* * *

"More ferocious! Imagine striking through your opponent's heart!" Zuko said, a scowl has been etched onto his face for the past 20 minutes. 

Aang finished the move and turned, irritated, "I'm trying."

"Zuko, maybe we should give him a break," I said, I was even getting tired, we'd been training with Aang for hours.

He threw me a look before turning back to Aang, "Now let me hear you roar like a tigerdillo!"

Aang roared, flames barely erupting from his palms.

"That was pathetic, I said roar!" 

I was about to dismiss Zuko but Aang did it again, this time much more powerful. Zuko even nodded approvingly. 

Katara spoke up from the steps a few feet away, "Who wants a nice cool glass of watermelon juice?"

"Oh! Me!" Aang said, starting to run towards her before Zuko grabbed his shirt.

"Your lesson's not over yet! Get back here!"

"Zuko," I chided, "Let's just take a little break, it's not a big deal," I said.

"Yeah, Nix is right," Suki added, "What's the problem?"

"Fine," he said, letting Aang go, "If you want to lounge around like a bunch of snail sloths all day, then go ahead!" and he stormed off.

I sighed, not sure if I should go after him or not. 

"Maybe Zuko's right." Sokka said "Sitting around the house has made us pretty lazy. But I know just the thing to change all that... Beach Party!"

With a laugh we rushed down to the beach, Katara making a surfboard out of ice to take to the waves. The rest of the group got on with their own beach-related projects so I tried something that's an art form back home, glass making.

The sand in Mokuxa is a lot different than this sand, but maybe it'll work just as well.

I started blasting away, trying out different heat combinations and managed to start making glass, it was rough and almost green colored, which could be from the sea, but I tried making a few bangles like Itzel showed me many years ago. 

I had just slid on the green-blue bangles to see how they fit when I heard fire blasts behind me, and turned to see Zuko running. 

Katara and I rushed over, asking Sokka what happened. 

"Zuko's gone crazy! I made a sand sculpture of Suki and he destroyed it!" he paused, "Oh, and he's attacking Aang."

"What?!" I yelled, running up the way we came, my friends in tow. 

We had just gotten to the house when Zuko was blasted from the second story and landed in the courtyard, Aang jumped down moments later.

"What's wrong with you?" Katara asked, "You could have hurt Aang!"

"What's wrong with me?" he asked, incredulously, "What's wrong with all of you? How can you sit around having beach parties when Sozin's Comet is only three days away?" there was a moment of silence, I know Katara told me the plan last night, but did no one tell Zuko? "Why are you all looking at me like I'm crazy?"

"About Sozin's Comet..." Aang spoke up, "I was actually gonna wait to fight the Fire Lord until after it came."

"After?" Zuko asked, taking a step backward.

"I'm not ready, I need more time to master firebending."

"And frankly, your earthbending could still use some work too," Toph said, to which Aang grimaced.

"So you all knew Aang was going to wait?" Zuko asked, looking over the group, his eyes landing on me with such an intensity I had to force myself not to look away, though I wasn't entirely sure why.

Sokka's voice broke our eye contact, "Honestly, if Aag tries to fight the Fire Lord now, he's gonna lose," at a glance from Aang he added, "No offense."

"The whole point of fighting the Fire Lord before the Comet was to stop the Fire Nation from winning the war, but they pretty much won the war when they took Ba Sing Se. Things can't get any worse." Katara said.

"You're wrong," Zuko turned away. "It's about to get worse than you can even imagine. The day before the eclipse, my father asked me to attend an important war meeting. It was what I dreamed about for so many years. My father had finally accepted me back. But then I heard his plan. They're going to take the airships and during the comet, destroy everything, burn it all to the ground. He wants to crown himself ruler of everything. I wanted to speak out against this horrifying plan, but I'm ashamed to say I didn't. My whole life, I struggled to gain my father's love and acceptance, but once I had it, I realized I'd lost myself getting there. I'd forgotten who I was."

I took a step forward, solemnly placing a hand on his shoulder. He turned to give me a grateful look.

"I can't believe this," came Katara's voice. 

For Ozai to harness the power of the comet to destroy the world? I can't even imagine it. The endless horrors of a world on fire, thousands, millions of people gone in the inferno. And for absolutely nothing but power. My stomach turned.

"I always knew the Fire Lord was a bad guy, but his plan is just pure evil," Sokka said.

"What am I gonna do?" Aang said, his expression in shock. 

I squeezed Zuko's shoulder before letting him go and he took a step towards Aang, "I know you're scared, and I know you're not ready to save the world, but if you don't defeat the Fire Lord before the comet comes, there won't be a world to save anymore."

Aang turned away, "Why didn't you tell me about your dad's crazy plan sooner?"

"I didn't think I had to. I assumed you were still going to fight him before the comet. No one told me you decided to wait," Zuko said, his voice rising in frustration. 

"This is bad." Aang held his head in his hands, "This is really, really bad."

"Aang," Katara interjected, "you don't have to do this alone."

"Strength in numbers right?" I added.

"Yeah," Toph said, "if we all fight the Fire Lord together, we got a shot at taking him down."

"All right! Team Avatar is back!" Sokka said, who then pointed at Aang "Air!", then turned to Katara, "Water!", the Toph, "Earth!", then to Zuko and I "Fire!", then he grabbed a few leaves and handed them to Suki and himself, "Fan and sword!"

We all laughed and Aang smiled, "Fighting the Fire Lord is going to be the hardest thing we've ever done together, but I wouldn't want to do it any other way."

Someone yelled group hug and Toph pulled me in, after a moment I turned to Zuko who was standing apart. 

"Get over here, Zuko. Being part of the group also means being part of group hugs," Katara said with a smile.

With a resigned look, Zuko relented and we all hugged, just moments before Appa grumbled happily and crashed into us.

Zuko and Aang went back to training and I took some time to go over healing techniques with Katara, I was sure we could glean something from each other and I had a sneaking suspicion I'd need to have a better handle on my abilities as the battle grew closer.

We were out in the pavilion and I had my journal out, Katara and I taking turns drawing diagrams. She explained that water healing was based on the paths of blood flowing through the body, and she showed me some of the paths blood took. I wonder if that's something I can incorporate in my life fire healing...

We were drawn out of our conversation when Aang said Katara's name, "...Katara and a little spirit water action," he turned to us, "am I right?"

"Actually... I used it all up when Azula shot you."

"Oh..." he looked to me, "Well what about Nix's dragon fire?"

"I've never tried to heal a lightning wound before, I can't guarantee anything," I said. flesh wounds were easy, the fire senses the impurity and can deal with it. If there is a way to heal scars, I certainly haven't figured it out, but a lightning wound? That goes deep as far as Katara has hold me. I wouldn't even know where to start.

"You'll have to take the Fire Lord's life before he takes yours," Zuko said.

Aang glanced away, "Yeah, I'll just... do that."


	4. Chapter 3

We arrived on the beach, Aang nowhere in sight.

We'd been looking for him for at least an hour now.

"Look, there's his footprints," said Sokka, pointing to the impressions in the sand which lead into the water, "The trail ends here."

"So, he went for a midnight swim and never came back?" Suki asked.

Their conversation faded to the back of my mind. Something felt off about this. I could sense something, or the spirit in me could sense something, the presence of something immensely powerful, and impossibly ancient.

I interrupted the team's trading of theories, "Guys there was something here."

"Something here? What was it, there are no other footprints," Katara said.

"No something was in the water, something really powerful."

"Like a spirit? Can you sense it?" Zuko asked.

"Is it dangerous?" Suki asked.

"Umm," I tried to pinpoint the feeling, it was tugging on something really deep inside me, something yearning. But it didn't feel malevolent, "It's distant, so it's hard to tell, but I don't think it's dangerous. It's certainly an ancient force, like, older than me, well not me, but older than the first Phoenix."

"So could it be a spiritual journey thing?" Katara asked.

"As far as I can tell, yeah," I said.

"Are you able to track him?" Sokka asked.

"No, it's too far at this point, I can just feel the lingering energy. Sorry, I know that wasn't that helpful," I said, turning back to my friends.

"Well, if we just need to find him, I think I know someone who could help," Zuko said.

* * *

We walked into the tavern, and I had to stop myself from gauking, I had never been to a place like this before, and the way the other people in the building turned to look at us, at me, made my skin crawl. 

I'd never felt ashamed wearing my Sun Warrior clothing, with my midriff, arms, and most of my legs exposed, it was traditional, significant. But the way these men were looking at me... I wasn't sure if I wanted to run or blast them until their skin melted. Uh- I mean...

"Zuko," I said, clearing my thoughts as I turned my focus to my friend who led us into the tavern, "why are we here exactly?"

He finished looking around and I followed his gaze, to a woman dressed in black and maroon on the other side of the room, who was seeming to fight off a group of men without lifting a finger. Maybe I could ask her for a pointer.

"June," he nodded to her.

"Oh yeah, that weird bounty hunter with the giant mole," Sokka said.

"Mole?" Suki asked, "Her skin is flawless."

"No," he said, "she has this giant mole creature she rides around on."

"A shirshu," Zuko provided, "it's the only animal that can track Aang's scent anywhere in the world," he turned back to us, "it's the one shot we have at finding him."

After a few moments, she had effectively knocked out most of the men in the room, all without spilling her tea.

"I don't know who this June lady is," Toph said, "but I like her."

"I remember her, she helped you attack us!"

I looked back to Sokka, amused.

"Yup, back in the good old days," Zuko said, walking over to June.

I smiled, following him.

"Oh great," she said, taking note of our approach, "it's prince pouty. I see you got yourself a new girlfriend," she glanced to me and I jumped slightly, surprised.

I quickly glanced at Zuko "I'm not his girlfriend," - "She's not my girlfriend," we said in unison. I could feel heat creep it's way up to my cheeks, displaying my embarrassment.

"Ok, ok, sheesh, could have fooled me," she said taking another sip, "so what do you want?"

"We need your help finding the Avatar."

"Hm, doesn't sound too fun."

Zuko clenched his fists, "Does the end of the world sound like more fun?"

She rose a single eyebrow at him.

I stepped forward, putting a hand in front of Zuko to get him to take a step back, "What he meant to say was, things are about to get very bad for pretty much everyone if we don't find the Avatar. He's the only one who can stop the imminent genocide of the whole world by the Fire Lord."

She set her cup down, turning her attention to me.

"Sounds pretty serious, thanks for treating me to the actual details," she placed her cup on the table and stood, heading from the tavern, "glad to see one of you has a decent head on your shoulders."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Zuko asked as we followed her.

Once outside we brought a scent sample to Nyla, the shirshu, who then walked in a few circles before laying on the ground, pawing at her nose.

"What's that mean?" Zuko asked, crossing his arms.

"It means your friend's gone."

"Yeah we know he's gone, that's why we came to you," Toph said.

"No, I mean he's gone, gone, he doesn't exist," June said.

"What do you mean Aang doesn't exist? Do you mean he's ... you know, dead?" Sokka asked.

"Nope. We could find him if he were dead. Wow, it's a real head-scratcher," June replied, sarcasm dripping from her tone.

"Nix, is there any spiritual explanation for this? I thought when someone enters the spirit world they leave their body behind," Katara asked, turning to me.

"I mean, as far as I know, that's the case, but like I said earlier, there is an ancient being or power that met Aang, and he may have gone with it. What that entails exactly? I don't really know."

"Well sorry about your friend but I'll be going," June said, sliding into the saddle on her shirshu.

"Wait," Zuko said, "I have another idea. There's only one other person in this world who can help us face the Fire Lord. I'll be right back with a smell sample."

After rummaging around in his bag Zuko returned with an old sandal. 

"You saved your uncle's sweaty sandal? Ugh!" Sokka said, pinching his nose.

I laughed.

"I think it's kind of sweet," Toph said, smiling behind her bangs.

After Nyla took off, following Iroh's scent trail we scrambled onto Appa and trailed behind.

After riding for an entire day, we started coming up on the biggest thing I'd ever seen in my life.

"We're going to Ba Sing Se?" Zuko asked.

"Is that all one city?" I asked in awe, looking along the horizon for the seemingly neverending walls.

"Welcome to the Earth Kingdom capital, or would be," Toph said dryly.

We came to the ground as Nyla stopped running, pawing at some rubble. 

Your uncle's somewhere beyond the wall." June said, turning to the group of us as we dismounted Appa. "Nyla's getting twitchy so he can't be too far. Good luck."

She got back on her shirshu and took off without a second glance. What an interesting woman.

"It's been a long day," Zuko said, "let's camp and start our search again at dawn."

We all got our stuff sorted and cozied up on Appa's limbs to sleep, Toph electing to build herself an earth tent instead. 

Appa was warm, and the rumbles of the air bison's breathing was kind of comforting. It was easy to fall asleep.

After just a few hours, sometime close to dawn, I awoke with a start, the heat of fire suddenly surrounding me. 

I stood quickly my eyes adjusting to the light, my friends joining me in looking up at a group of four men standing on top of the rubble.

"Well, look who's here," said one of them as the fire died and they made their way down to us.

"What's going on? We're surrounded by old people!" Toph said.

"Not just any old people," Katara said, "These are great masters and friends of ours," she walked up to one of them and bowed, "Pakku."

He returned the gesture, "It is respectful to bow to an old master," he held out his arms, "but how about a hug for your new grandfather?"

Sokka made a kind of screeching noise as Katara embraced Pakku.

"That's so exciting! You and Gran-Gran must be so happy to have found each other again!" Katara exclaimed.

"I made her a new betrothal necklace and everything," Pakku said with a smile.

"Welcome to the family, Gramp-Gramp!" Sokka said, embracing him as well.

Pakku pushed him away slightly and I heard Suki next to me giggle.

"You can still just call me Pakku."

"How about Grand-Pakku?" Sokka asked.

"No."

Katara looked at Zuko and I, "And, this was Aang's first firebending teacher," she beckoned us closer and we both bowed to him. 

"Jeong Jeong," he introduced himself.

"Zuko," Zuko replied next to me.

"Phoenix, it's a pleasure to meet you," I said.

At the mention of my name his eyes glinted, I could guess he knew of me.

"Phoenix? Well, I'm sure we'll have much to discuss," Jeong Jeong said with a smile.

Next down the line Sokka bowed to the only master who hadn't gone gray yet, "Master Piandao," Sokka said.

"Hello, Sokka."

"So wait," Suki asked, "How do you all know each other?"

"All old people know each other. Don't you know that?" laughed who I now assumed was King Bumi.

"We're all part of the same ancient secret society. A group that transcends the divisions of the four nations," said Piandao. 

"The Order of the White Lotus," said Zuko next to me.

Bumi slid over, "That's the one!"

"The White Lotus has always been about philosophy and beauty and truth," Jeong Jeong said, "but about a month ago, a call went out that we were needed for something important."

Pakku nodded, "It came from a Grand Lotus: your uncle, Iroh of the Fire Nation."

Zuko smiled and glanced at me, which only made me smile. 

"Well, that's who we're looking for," Toph said.

"Then we'll take you to him," Piandao said.

"Wait!" Bumi interrupted, "Someone's missing from your group..." he walked up to Sokka, "Someone very important..." He leaned into his face, "Where's Momo?!"

"He's gone," Sokka said, "and so is Aang."

"Oh well." Bumi said, patting Sokka on the chest almost making him lose his balance, "So long as they have each other, I'm sure we have nothing to worry about. Let's go!"

Bumi stomped on the ground and earthbended a platform that launched him back over the wall.

I smiled and we followed the other Masters, making our way through the rubble. 

After a bit of a walk full of recounted stories, we reached an earthen barrier that Bumi bended out of the way, revealing several tents organized like a small village.

"Welcome to old people camp!" Bumi said, taking the lead.

Zuko next to me looked around, his brow knit in concern, "Where... where is he?" 

Piandao pointed toward one of the larger tents towards the middle, "Your uncle is in there Prince Zuko."

Zuko steeled his expression and walked forward confidently, but as he grew nearer, his confidence drained with each step before he sat in front of the tent, slumped over.

I carefully made my way over and sat next to him quietly. 

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Sick to my stomach. My uncle hates me, I know it."

I gently placed my hand on his arm.

"He loved and supported me in every way he could, and I still turned against him. How can I even face him?"

"Zuko," I said, "you are a changed man. You don't think the same, feel the same, or even believe the same things anymore. Are you sorry? For what you did?"

"More sorry than I've been about anything in my entire life," he said with such certainty that my breath caught for a split second.

"Then he'll forgive you."

He was quiet for a moment before he nodded and gave me a look, standing and stepping into the tent.

I stood and made my way to Appa to grab my stuff, taking one more look at the tent.

* * *

The next morning I woke up at sunrise like normal, and since it was summertime, not everyone was awake yet. 

I made my way over to Appa and got out my journal, opening it to my healing notes and lighting a life fire in one hand, pressing it to my opposite arm.

Katara said water healing uses the channels of blood in the body as a conduit, but the diagram she drew hasn't seemed to be the path the life fire takes through the body. 

Blood went through the body in different sizes of canals, like rivers and veins, keeping the bigger sections close to the inside of the body, but this other system seemed to be pretty evenly dispersed and didn't seem to ride the flow of blood in the body as water healing did, but rather was a quick almost electric connection to everything. 

As my mind wandered my unconscious control of the fire started the slip and my nerves started to overload. I quickly retracted my thinking and smothered the flame.

Nerves... Maybe it's a system of nerves? 

As I was writing down my observations I heard talking as two people exited one of the larger tents, it was Zuko and a shorter man I assumed was his uncle, Iroh.

I closed my journal as Zuko spotted me and he waved, leading his uncle in my direction. I packed my things away and stood to greet them.

"Good morning," I said.

"Uncle, this is Phoenix, High Priestess of the Sun Warriors," Zuko said, gesturing to me.

We bowed to each other. Iroh had a sort of energy about him, one similar to what I felt in Aang though much fainter. Maybe it was a spiritual aura? From what Zuko has told me about him I wouldn't be surprised if he had been blessed or touched by a spirit, perhaps that's what it is?

"Iroh, it is a pleasure to finally meet you, my mother spoke very highly of you."

"High Priestess, it is always an honor to be in the presence of the first firebender," Iroh smiled.

"You make me sound a bit more qualified than I really am," I said with a light laugh.

"Well, your mother certainly taught me a thing or two."

"Really?" | "Really?" Zuko and I said in unison.

"Oh yes, she's the one who taught me how to breathe fire.

I smiled, "She never mentioned that in her journals."

"Oh," he frowned slightly, "you don't know about the secret journals?"

"Secret journals? My mother kept secret journals?"

"Yes, I... assumed you would know," Iroh said gently.

I grew quiet. She kept things away from the hands of the tribe? What am I supposed to make of this?

I felt Zuko's hand on my shoulder, "Nix, are you ok?"

"How did I never think of that?" I asked, looking up, "You know how much stuff I have to refrain from writing about because I know my tribe will read through it? And I could have just kept a secret journal all along."

Iroh chuckled.

"Iroh, do you happen to know where she kept them?"

"Unfortunately, I don't."

I nodded. What was she keeping from me?

"Well, it seems the camp is starting to wake up, so let us go and brew some tea," Iroh said with a smile, heading towards some of the other White Lotus members who were starting to prepare a meal.

Zuko and I followed him and I held Zuko's arm, signaling for him to trail behind a few steps with me.

"Seems things turned out pretty well with your uncle," I said.

"Yeah," he smiled, rubbing the back of his neck, "Thanks for talking with me about it last night."

"Oh, yeah, of course," I said, my cheeks seeming warmer than usual.

Once the food was ready and passed out, the team gathered around with Iroh to eat and discuss the plan.

"Uncle, you're the only person other than the Avatar who can possibly defeat the Father Lord," Zuko said, sitting across the circle from me.

"You mean the Fire Lord," Toph spoke up next to him.

Zuko turned to her, "That's what I just said!"

Iroh, sitting on my left made a thoughtful noise and I turned to him.

"You need to come with us," Zuko said.

"Even if I did defeat Ozai," Iroh said, "and I don't know that I could, it would be the wrong way to end the war. History would see it as just more senseless violence, a brother killing a brother to grab power. The only way for this war to end peacefully is for the Avatar to defeat the Fire Lord."

"And then..." Zuko pleaded, "then you would come and take your rightful place on the throne?"

"No. Someone new must take the throne." Iroh looked at his nephew "an idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor. It has to be you, Prince Zuko."

I was reminded of the vision the Masters had shown me.

"Unquestionable honor?" Zuko asked, his eyebrows raised, "but I've made so many mistakes."

"Yes, you have. You've struggled; you've suffered, but you have always followed your own path. You restored your own honor, and only you can restore the honor of the Fire Nation."

"I... I'll try Uncle."

"Well..." Toph interjected, "What if Aang doesn't come back?"

"Sozin's Comet is arriving, and our destinies are upon us. Aang will face the Fire Lord. When I was a boy, I had a vision that I would one day take Ba Sing Se. Only now do I see that my destiny is to take it back from the Fire Nation, so the Earth Kingdom can be free again." Iroh said, a look of determination etched onto his features.

"That's why you gathered the members of the White Lotus," Suki said.

"Yes," Iroh nodded, "Zuko, you must return to the Fire Nation, so that when the Fire Lord falls, you can assume the throne and restore peace and order. But Azula will be there, waiting for you."

Zuko sneered, "I can handle Azula."

"Not alone," his uncle said, "you'll need help."

"You're right..." Zuko turned his eyes to me, "Nix? How would you like to take back the Fire Nation, and put Azula in her place?"

"You don't even have to ask," I smiled, giving him a firm nod.

"What about us?" Sokka spoke up, "What is our destiny today?"

"What do you think it is?" Iroh offered.

"I think..." Sokka paused for a moment, "even though we don't know where Aang is, we need to do everything we can to stop the airship fleet."

"And that means when Aang does face the Fire Lord, we'll be right there if he needs us," Toph said.

We wasted no time in preparing for the journey ahead of us. Sokka, Suki, Toph, and Katara sat astride two eel hounds talking with Piandao, who was giving them directions to the air fleet. I fire-boosted myself into Appa's saddle as Zuko sat at the reigns.

"So if I'm going to be Fire Lord after the war is over," Zuko said, "what are you going to do?"

Iroh smiled, "After I re-conquer Ba Sing Se, I'm going to re-conquer my tea shop, and I'm going to play Pai Sho every day."

"Goodbye, Iroh, and thank you," I said.

"You're welcome, and goodbye everyone. Today, destiny is our friend." he grinned, "I know it."

Zuko turned around and nodded to me, I nodded back and we were off, taking to the sky.

We flew until the sky turned orange and the clouds glowed red. I took my eyes off the scrolling landscape and glanced at Zuko. He looks anxious.

"Zuko, what's on your mind? Are you worried about Azula?"

"No, I'm worried about Aang. What if he doesn't have the guts to take out my father? What if he loses?"

"Aang won't lose, he'll come back, and Katara, Sokka, Suki, and Toph will all be there to back him up, and take out the air fleet."

Zuko locked eyes with me.

"We'll win this," I said, firm.

"Believe you, and I believe in us, but how are you so sure?"

Do I tell him?

"When I left Mokuxa to join the team, the Dragons had shown me a vision..."

"Right..."

I bit my lip, "It was of you and Aang standing before a crowd, and you were Fire Lord."

"I was Fire Lord?" He asked, looking away, processing.

"I'm not sure if I was supposed to tell you that but, that's why I first left, to ensure that future becomes reality."

"And if it does?"

"When it does," I corrected him, "I'll be here to support you, Fire Lord Zuko."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, nodding once before looking at me again, his expression strong and his golden eyes piercing. 

The comet had already started it's burning path across the sky by the time we landed Appa in a secure location and rushed to the palace, where we would find Azula.

We had just rushed into the palace's front courtyard when we saw Azula, kneeling and a Fire Sage holding up the Fire Lord crown headpiece.

"By decree of Phoenix King Ozai,"

My heart stilled and ice flooded my body, I looked to Zuko, he glanced at me concerned and I tried to hide the way the words 'Phoenix King' made my skin crawl.

"I now crown you Fire Lord..." The Fire Sage froze, having spotted us.

"What are you waiting for? Do it!" Azula said, outraged.

"Sorry," Zuko spoke up, forcing his sister's attention to him, "but you're not going to become Fire Lord today," he stepped forward, "I am."

Azula laughed, "You're hilarious."

I took a step forward next to Zuko, "And you're going down."

Azula held up her hand, making the Fire Sage pause, "Wait. You want to be Fire Lord? Fine. Let's settle this. Just you and me, brother. The showdown that was always meant to be. Agni Kai!"

Zuko clenched his jaw, "You're on."

I turned to him, surprised, "Zuko, what are you doing? She trying to separate us, she knows two against one isn't a fair fight and she's trying to exploit you."

"I know," he said, not taking his eyes from his sister, "but I can take her this time."

"Uh, you were there when your uncle said you would need help, and you agreed need I remind you," I said, worry and anger knotting themselves together in my stomach.

He shook his head, "There's something off about her; I can't explain it but she's slipping. And this way," he looked me in the eyes "no one else has to get hurt."

I searched his eyes, and after a moment I nodded, "Ok," I placed a hand on his chest and let life fire ease it's way into his nervous system, " be careful."

"I will."

I pulled away and retreated to the side of the courtyard out of the way as the siblings took their positions on either side.

After a moment they turned and Azula pulled off her cape, "I'm sorry it has to end this way, brother."

"No, you're not," Zuko said.

Azula grinned something twisted and she staggered forward, before releasing a torent of blue flames. Zuko retaliated by spreading his arms, orange fire flaring behind him like wings, and he pushed them forward.

The two streams of flame met in the middle of the courtyard, rising in an inferno.

Azula didn't seem to be fighting with anger, as I expected her to, in fact, she was just as calm as Zuko. But her movements went beyond that, they were almost gleeful, to make the sickening smirk the lit up her face with each blast. 

There was something very wrong with her. 

Huge swaths of fire arched into buildings, over the sky, through streets bordering the courtyard. I had to move around to avoid several of the blasts, redirecting the fire around and away from me. I'm glad we found a place for Appa to hide.

Azula was starting to lose it, her steps erratic, her movements almost uncoordinated, I could see her breathing heavily even from the opposite corner of the arena.

Then I watched Zuko step into the last form of the dancing dragon, and two intertwining columns of flame launched across the courtyard.

Instead of blasting back, Azula flung herself out of the way, barely landing on her feet.

The fight continued, Azula using fire to blast herself across the ground, and Zuko held firm. They traded blasts back and forth until Zuko spun on the ground, bending a blade of fire that tripped Azula, sending her to the ground.

I took a few steps forward, he almost had her.

Azula pulled herself to her feet.

"No lightning today? What's the matter?" Zuko yelled, changing stances, "Afraid I'll redirect it?" he was egging her on.

"Oh, I'll show you lightning!" Azula said, starting to form blue electricity around her.

I watched Zuko take a deep breath, he has to be able to catch this, I know he can, but what if something happens?

Azula extended her fingertips to Zuko, before smirking slightly and turning them to me.

In the split second as Zuko turned to dive in front of the lightning something in me broke.

I can't redirect lightning, at least, I've never tried, and Zuko was going to redirect this, and he was going to get hurt. Azula is going to pay.

The bolt hit Zuko, his hand barely outstretched to receive it. He crumpled onto the ground, raising his opposite hand and pointing it to the sky where the lightning arched away. He convulsed on the ground, blue electricity crackling through his body.

I heard him groan in pain just as another bolt came towards me. 

I blasted myself backward and looked at Azula, she was laughing, stumbling, and coming right towards me.

I dug my heel into the ground and ran a wide circle to the left, luring her attention away from Zuko.

He was right. She's falling apart.

She blasted another poorly aimed bolt of lightning towards me and I kept her moving, growing the distance between us and Zuko.

"Aren't you going to fight little Sun Warrior girl?" Azula sneered, shooting another blast of fire at me. This one got close, and I could feel it catch the end of my ponytail on fire. I smothered it and felt it fall out of its hair tie, but I can't let it through me off, not when I'm so close.

I didn't respond to Azula, but instead breathed, as I now had her right where I wanted her.

She blasted me again, but this time I jumped, fire underneath my feet and flipped my body over her blue flames.

I landed just a few feet from her and opened my mouth.

A purple blaze left with my breath, completely engulfing Azula.

I heard her scream.

Keeping my fire breath consistent I unfurled violet flaming wings behind me before beating them down on her and her cries of anguish intensified.

I could feel her whole body through the flames, every inch, every nerve. Her brain was broken, pathways completely cut off, some jumbled into others, it was complete chaos.

My fire died down, and my vision returned.

Azula lay on her back, not an ember on her.

By all physical appearances, she looked completely untouched.

Tears raced down her cheeks as she wept, shaking. "What are you?!" she screamed.

"Phoenix." I said, unclasping my armbands and using them to bind Azula's hands behind her back, linking the metal in on itself and soldering it with a flame. I half dragged her to a banister and pulled one of the metal chains around her hands, effectively tieing her to it.

Azula continued to cry out, sobbing, spewing blue fire across the stone of the courtyard, but otherwise, she lay there.

I ran to Zuko, who lay on his stomach, he was fighting to keep his eyes open.

I knelt by his side and turned him over, the lightning had burned through the front of his robe, and the skin on his abdomen.

It was an angry red diamond, and was fresh with blood. I looked up to the sky, the comet blazing its trail above, the sun setting on the horizon, and I lit a life fire in my hands and got to work.

Zuko grunted in pain as I drove the fried nerve ending back together. His body fought back, the electricity had done so much internal damage, especially in his stomach and around his heart.

I willed the fire to do something, anything, and just as I thought Zuko had stopped moving for good, his eyes opened, and he looked at me.

I stilled and he said, "Thank you, Phoenix."

My vision blurred as tears filled my eyes and I pulled him up into a hug. He grunted slightly, and I knew there was still work to be done on his injury, but holding him just felt so good.

Eventually, I helped him up and held him up as we walked closer to Azula.

For a while he didn't say anything, just watched her as she sobbed.

"What did you do to her? What was that purple fire?"

"I don't know," I admitted, "It's a form of life fire I think, but as I was bending it, all I could think about was how could she get to a this point? To try to kill her own brother, to revel in the murder of someone close to her, I just, wanted to heal that part of her."

He looked at me, both sad and shocked, "And did you?"

I sighed, "No."

He turned back to Azula, his body sagging slightly against mine.

"Just as I can't heal your scar, her head, on the inside or on some kind of spiritual level, has taken this version of herself and made it all that she is. There isn't much that I can do, the purple flames subdued her, but they can't heal her."

Zuko nodded, turning back to me before wrapping his arms around me again.

He was crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's plenty more to come ;)


	5. Chapter 4

"Hey, you ok?" I asked, walking across the room to Zuko who was struggling to put his robe on with his injuries.

"Nix," he said turning around, "yeah, sorry, you and Katara did a lot to help," He looked at me, seeming to read my mind, "and I know you're exhausted, you've both been healing people nonstop since the fighting ended last night."

His concern was touching. I smiled, "Here," and unwrapped his bandages to expose the still angry skin. I placed a hand over him, letting life fire burn away the pain. "You don't need to worry about me Zuko," I said, pulling my hand away. The skin was starting to scar but there was nothing I could do about that.

With a tentative hand, he placed it over the skin.

"How does it feel?" I asked.

"Better," he said with a smile, pulling me into a hug, "thank you."

"Of course, Zuko," I said, helping him re-wrap the bandages, "you're one of my closest friends, there isn't much I wouldn't do for you, especially now that you're being crowned Fire Lord. I have a suspicion things are going to get a little crazy for you around here." I helped him into his robe.

He laughed, "I think you're about right with that one, Nix."

"Well, are you ready for your coronation? You look nice."

"I hope so, and thank you, you do too. Why don't you let your hair down again?" he asked.

"Oh, well I'm a Sun Warrior, and it's kind of hard to fight with long hair in your face..." I said, glancing away.

"We're not fighting anymore," he said, quieter this time, placing one hand on my shoulder and the other reached to gently tug my hair out of its tie, letting it fall around my shoulders.

"How-" I swallowed, the words coming slowly, "how does it look?"

"Better," he whispered.

I opened my mouth to tease him (to hide the blush slowly creeping onto my cheeks), when another voice interrupted.

"Zuko."

I turned to see a girl standing in the doorway, she was fearsome looking with jet black hair and a slight scowl.

"Mai," Zuko said, jumping away from me and staring at her in disbelief.

"Um, hello," I said to her, trying to figure out what was going on (and not take Zuko's shock personally).

"Who's this?" She asked.

"Mai, I thought you were in prison, and also hated me," Zuko said, his brow furrowed.

"My uncle pulled some strings, now who are you?" she looked back at me.

"This is Phoenix, High Priestess of the Sun Warriors." Zuko said, stepping in front of me slightly, "Phoenix, this is Mai, my ex."

'Ex' seemed like a new word to Mai, like their breakup was somehow news to her.

"Right," I said. Everything Zuko had told me about her started to make sense. I stepped forward and looked back to Zuko, and in a whisper said, "Do you want me to stay?"

He narrowed his eyes barely at Mai over my shoulder and then shook his head.

"Ok, well, I'll leave you two to catch up," I briefly took Zuko's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze before making my way to the doorway. He gave me a look like he was promising me something but I wasn't quite sure what it was.

"I'll see you in a bit," he said, his expression softening at me for a moment, to which I nodded and left the room.

Mai looked me over as I walked passed her which was a bit uncomfortable. Instead of trying to figure out what they had going on between them, I focused on finding my tribe in the crowd.

By the time we reunited and Itzel attacked me with a hug, people started cheering, and I looked up to see Zuko walking out, now donned in his Fire Lord robes.

"Please," he said, gesturing behind him, "the real hero."

Aang stepped forward and the crowd erupted even louder.

My heart swelled with pride as Zuko started, "Today, this war is finally over!"

Itzel next to me started cheering so loud I thought she might start crying. Of course, I wasn't entirely sure I wasn't going to cry either.

Zuko continued, "I promised my uncle that I would restore the honor of the fire nation, and I will. The road ahead of us is challenging. A hundred years of fighting has left the world scarred and divided, but with the Avatar's help, we can get it back on the right path," Zuko's scan of the crowd seemed to settle on me, a smile on his face, "And begin a new era of love, and peace."

The fire sage behind him approached with the Fire Lord crown headpiece. Zuko knelt and the fire sage lifted the crown piece "All hail Fire Lord Zuko!"

My vision clouded as tears slid down my cheeks. To think that just a few weeks ago he walked into Mokuxa without his bending, and now I couldn't be prouder as he's crowned Fire Lord.

Zuko and Aang stepped forward as the crowd roared. This was what I saw in my vision, this precise moment. My destiny is complete. All hail Fire Lord Zuko, all hail Avatar Aang.

* * *

Next to me, Iroh played the tsungi horn with beautiful sweeping melodic lines. I added a steady but rhythmic underline on my djembe, the drum resting between my knees. Zuko came by with fresh tea, and Iroh and I stopped playing to take the cups.

While his Uncle was certainly better at brewing, Zuko wasn't bad himself and I think I've actually grown quite fond of the drink.

Zuko passed cups to Suki and Katara who were playing a game of tiles as Sokka shouted, "Zuko stop moving, I'm trying to capture the moment! I wanted to do a painting so we always remember the good times together."

Katara walked over to the table he was at, "That's very thoughtful of you Sokka," she said before laying eyes on the painting.

I stood in curiosity and walked over to the table as well with the rest of the group.

"Wait," Katara said, "Why did you give me momo's ears?"

"Those are your hair loopies," he said.

Zuko came next to me and leaned down to the painting, "At least you don't look like a borkupine, my hairs not that spikey!" he said, which made it harder for me to hide my smile.

I took a closer look, "Why is my torso so long?" I asked, as the figure I assumed was supposed to be me had a disproportionately long torso, which may have been to fit my tattoos on, which were reduced to scribbles and a smiley face.

"And why did you paint me firebending?" Suki asked.

Sokka looked up at her, "I thought it looked more exciting that way."

Momo jumped onto the table and made chittering noises.

"Oh, you think you can do a better job Momo?" Sokka asked incredulously.

"I don't know Sokka, why not give the lemur a chance?" I asked, causing smiles across the table.

Iroh joined us, "Hey, my belly's not that big anymore, I really trimmed down."

"Well I think you all look perfect!" Toph said.

We laughed and I noticed Aang wasn't inside anymore, he'd gone out to Appa.

I made eye contact with Katara and gave her a smile while nodding to Aang.

She gave me a silent look of thanks and headed outside.

"What was that about?" Zuko asked me in a whisper.

"I think the lovebirds may finally take off," I said, making sure no one else overheard.

"Good for them," Zuko said, he then turned to me like he meant to say something but his uncle called out from across the room.

"We should go for a good old Appa ride before the celebration," I said, turning to the group "How about you go ask Aang and Katara?" I said to Sokka.

"Oh, good idea!" Sokka bounced out of his seat and headed outside.

"Good thinking Nix, now we can get rid of this thing," Zuko said, reaching for the 'painting'.

"I don't know," Suki interjected, "I think it's kind of sweet, maybe we should keep it for a little while."

"Yeah, maybe someday he'll get as good as Momo and paint a new one," I said, causing the table to laugh and the lemur in question to hitter happily. 

* * *

We took to the skies to watch the fireworks, and they were stunning, I'd only ever seen them before at Zuko's coronation. So many different colors of fire... I wonder if I can recreate that with life fire.

I looked over to Zuko across from me, he seemed less appreciative of the dazzling display of pyrotechnics. He's probably thinking about his father again. He told me that a couple of days ago he went to see him. I tried to be supportive but the effort was taking a toll on me. His father has been on his mind ever since. And mine as well... Sometimes in my dreams I hear him calling himself Phoenix King...

I shivered suddenly, but it had nothing to do with the cold.

"Hey," Aang said, noticing Zuko's expression in the midst of the merriment, "turn the frown upside-down Mr. New Fire Lord Zuko, it's happy time!"

Zuko turned to Aang, his expression serious, "Aang, I visited my father in prison the other day..." he glanced to me and I gave him a nod, he turned back to Aang, "and I've been meaning to ask you a favor."

"Sure, anything."

"If you ever see me turning into my father, I want you to..." Zuko looked down so I leaned forward and took his hand, giving it a squeeze before letting it go. It was enough for him to look up, his expression steeled over, "I want you to end me."

"What?!" Aang asked bewildered, the volume in Appa's saddle died down as everyone was hearing their conversation.

"Even now, after everything that's happened, my family's legacy is still a part of me. That's why it's my duty to heal the scars the fire nation has left on the world. But the Fire Lord's throne comes with a lot of pressures, and if I'm honest with myself... I need a safety net. That's what I need you to be Aang; the safety net."

"Zuko," Aang said, "You're not your dad! And you're my friend! How can you expect me-"

Zuko cut him off, "As your friend, I'm asking you... If you ever see me go bad, end me. Promise me Aang."

Aang glanced to Katara, who gave him a firm look, the fireworks continued to boom.

"...Fine, I promise."

* * *

"Thank you for letting us stay in town for a few days," I said, walking in step with Zuko.

"It's my pleasure, really, my ancestors nearly destroyed everything your entire culture is built on, it's the least I can do to help out. I want to integrate the traditional fire bending values of your people with the rest of the nation, remind them of the true heart of fire. I think it's crucial to our growth from here, that and the Harmony Restoration project."

"Of course, that's very noble of you, boxito," I said, nudging him playfully.

A comfortable silence descended on us as we passed by the courtyard.

"Oh, I meant to ask sooner, but how were things with Mai last week at the coronation?"

He cringed, "Awkward at best."

"What did she want?"

"To get back together. I told her no of course, that I wanted to focus on my friends and being the Fire Lord, and I brought up the fact that we never really had a healthy relationship," he sighed, "I think she took it well, not great, but she didn't lash out at me... not that she's someone who lashes out."

"Mmh, and how do you feel about it?" I asked.

"Better," he said, giving me an honest smile.

"Good!" I said, motioning for him to elaborate.

"I feel like I've grown a lot, and showing her that was kind of therapeutic."

"That's great, Zuko, do you think you'll still be able to be friends with her?" I asked.

"Maybe," he said, "but not yet at least, I think we both need time."

"Yeah, that makes sense, and I'm glad you're feeling so good about the situation."

He smiled again, "Me too."

We kept walking, the hall of portraits passing by our left.

Did I want Zuko back together with Mai? Well of course not, but is it just because their relationship isn't healthy or is it something more? And why is my stomach so twisted up about it? I could really stand to talk to Katara about this, but she already left the city with Aang.

"So, how's Teo?" Zuko asked suddenly.

"Teo?" I inquired, "How should I know?"

"Well, at the coronation, didn't he ask you to come to the Northern Air Temple with him?"

"Sure, he just wanted my help with some project he's working on, thinks my Sun Warrior trap skills would help."

"And? Are you going?"

"No, of course not," I looked at him, "Why would you even ask?"

"Well, I just... I don't know," he rubbed the back of his neck absentmindedly, "it seems like you get along with him really well."

"I mean, yeah, but my place is here, at least for a while. My people even need me here, there's a lot to do for rebuilding our culture, and now with this Harmony Restoration Project. As good of friends Teo and I are, I can't just follow him to the Northern Air Temple, especially not for some random project," I was a little annoyed that Zuko seemed to have so little faith in me. I'd already discussed with him, at length, about my involvement with the future for the Sun Warriors and the Fire Nation.

"Right, of course." he looked away.

He was shutting down on me again.

I sighed, stopping in my tracks, forcing Zuko to stop and turn to me.

"Boxito, I'm sorry that came out wrong. I guess I'm just a little hurt that you would think I'd so easily leave when we've already planned for so much together, well not together, but, like," I sighed again, trying to ease my frustration, "you know what I mean."

He nodded, taking a step closer, "No, I'm sorry, I guess I was just getting insecure, and I know you've already sworn yourself to this life leading your people and you wouldn't just leave, but I guess with everyone lately going off and starting their new lives, I was just worried that you would leave me too, and I'd have no one."

I pulled him into a hug, "Zuko, I know exactly how you feel. You're home again, and you're in your rightful place as Fire Lord, but it doesn't feel the way you thought it would feel, because your friends became your family. My people are here with me, and I should feel like a High Priestess again, but all I do feel right now is how much I miss the team."

His arms grew tighter around me. 

* * *

"High Priestess, you can't seriously be considering this!" Elder Cienega said, slamming his fist to the table.

"Cienega watch yourself," Elder Kache snapped, "The Masters gave the Priestess jurisdiction of the situation, you should be lucky she even wanted our opinions."

The arguing halted and I gave a nod to Kache in thanks. We'd been discussing for hours about the status of the dragons, to reveal ourselves and them to the public, with Zuko's support, or to stay hidden. Personally I was all for publicizing ourselves, it would bring in trade, stimulate our economy, start the refurbishing processes, and if the dragons are legally protected by the Fire Lord, I think we all stand a good chance of this going well. But the romantic in me wanted to let my tribe have a voice or the elders at least. But per usual, Cienega was being difficult.

"I'm just saying," Cienega grit his teeth, "Maybe the Priestess would do well with a little more experience to help influence her decision, perhaps now is not the time."

"You're questioning the Masters?!" Ajeno, the representative of the warriors, asked, outraged.

"No! Just suggesting that maybe the High Priestess herself is a little young to make the most informed decision about this very delicate situation."

"Would you say the same about me?"

I looked up from the angry notes I was taking to spot Zuko, he had slipped into the room.

"Fire Lord, please excuse him he meant you no disrespect," Elder Edrijo said, trying to amend the fight.

"I know that much, but it seems he disrespected Phoenix which I cannot tolerate in my own palace."

I let out a long-suffering sigh and managed to catch Zuko's eye, nodding for him to sit down and be quiet.

Cienega scoffed, "Oh so now I'm being lectured by a teenager who doesn't even know our ways, our customs?"

Itzel spoke up this time, "Cienega, you old man, you've managed to offend two incredibly powerful people with your conservative strong-arm, just shut up and let the rest of us do something productive and good for our people."

Cienega stood and planted his foot, locking eyes with me, "Your mother would have never betrayed the Masters like this.

The room went completely silent, Itzel next to me even gasped.

I slowly stood, steeling over my expression. What he just did was possibly one of the most disrespectful things imaginable, to mention the previous Phoenix, the previous me, like this? That was beyond taboo, that was almost unforgivable, and I saw his anger and determination waver as he realized what he said.

Not that any of the other elders would dream of doubting me, but I had to retaliate accordingly, the unspoken law demanded it.

"Cienega," I breathed, searching the old man's face, he knew what was coming, "You're hereby stripped of your duties as Elder and leader and I condemn you from your home. You may now reside in the farms or excommunicate yourself from the tribe and face death alone."

His jaw clenched and he nodded, forcing himself to bow and turning from the room.

Seconds of silence passed before I sat back down.

"Itzel."

She looked up at me.

"In light of recent events, I would like to ask you to serve as Elder of your people."

"High Priestess, I... I would be honored," she smiled brightly, dipping her head in a bow, and I could have sworn her eyes were wet.

"We'll make it official with the ceremony tomorrow at sunrise, but for now we have important business to discuss," I said, turning back to the table.

* * *

"So what exactly happened in there?" Zuko asked. We were walking to the Fire Temple where the Fire Sages kept the deep history of the fire nation. Zuko wanted to give me a tour and hopefully, we would find some things that might help both of our cultures adapt to this new world we were building.

"Well, Cienega has never been my biggest fan, but he had mentioned my mother, which is very taboo, slander even, especially in the context he used. He can disagree and argue all he wants, but he crossed a line. Ancient customs require that he lose his position, and so he did."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Zuko said, "But we've spoken about your mother before, is that not allowed?"

"Well, you're not a Sun Warrior, you aren't held under our laws. I consider you my equal, and what is conversation between friends? But Cienega has sworn his allegiance to me, Phoenix, in our ways, for all intents and purposes, I am my mother. It's my religious right. He spoke of her as if I was less than she, invalidating my existence. Hence, slander."

We were arriving through the front gate of the temple grounds.

Zuko nodded, "I see, well, if there's anything I can do..."

I smiled, "I have it under control, but thank you,"

"Of course."

"Ah, Fire Lord, High Priestess," one of the Fire Sages approached us bowing, "It's our pleasure to welcome you to the Capital City's Fire Temple."

"Good to see you, Nix this is the High Sage Keone," Zuko said.

"Nice to meet you," I said.

"Please High Priestess, the honor is mine," He bowed again.

"Have you collected all the relevant tomes from the catacombs?" Zuko asked.

"Of course, my Lord, we have them waiting for you as you requested, just this way," He turned and beckoned us across the pavilion.

As we walked closer to the center of the courtyard where a large emblem lay in the ground, I could feel... something. It was like fear, but I knew logically I had nothing to be scared of.

We stopped by the emblem and the Sage firebended into it, causing it to spin and reveal a descending staircase. 

I followed behind Zuko, the fear growing stronger, and this time, accompanied by a small sense of pain, like a dagger that strikes you in your stomach but you don't notice it yet, you don't quite feel it yet.

What's happening to me?

As we reached the bottom of the staircase I heard Keone say, "Here we are, the Dragonbone Catacombs."

My breath caught in my chest as the hallway came into view, lined with dozens of Dragon skulls as far down the tunnel as I could see.

As soon as my eyes had locked onto it, it felt like my soul was trying to rip itself from my body, to escape.

Then it felt like I was flying, and when I opened my eyes again everything was white.

"Hello?" I asked into the emptiness.

"Phoenix, my dear," said a voice from far away.

I tried opening my eyes again and they blinked away the white, and I realized I was looking at a lake, full of iridescent water.

I looked around, the sky was clouded with blue fog and the ground around me felt dusty and cold. I stood and tried to bend a bit of fire into my hands, but none appeared.

A sense of panic filled me as I tried firebending again, and again, nothing happening.

I turned around frantically, trying to figure out where I was when I saw that a stream of golden light connected my chest to a point far in the distance.

I got the sense that whatever was happening I needed to follow it.

It led me past thin trees, large rocks, and strange structures, and after seeing a few uncanny creatures float by, I realized this must be the spirit world.

I came upon a wide rock spire, the light leading me into it, so I climbed.

Through the opening I saw a huge beast with glowing white scales. It turned it's head around to look at me and I knew it was her, the sun spirit.

"Phoenix," It was her, the voice that spoke before.

Somehow the right word came to my tongue, "Xie."

At the word the light beam connecting us dissipated and the dragon smiled, bowing her head.

"I've been waiting for you for so long."

"I... I'm sorry to keep you waiting," I said, taking a tentative step closer to her.

"When we first made our deal, I knew that eventually my children in the other world would be hunted and slaughtered, I hope you can forgive me for needing you to stay to protect them, but you can come home now, they are safe now."

"Come home? Xie my home is in the real world, with my people."

She lowered her head to look me in the eye, "Your home is with me, it always has been, do you... wish to live out this last cycle before joining me?"

I nodded slowly, "I hope you don't mind, but, I don't think I'm ready yet, I don't even know how I got here..."

She circled her head around me sniffing the air, "Yes, you've been to the resting place. Phoenix I will give you the rest of this lifetime to get your affairs in order, but when I call on you again, you will come back to me."

Xie bowed her head in front of me and my heart swelled with something old, ancient, something I had forgotten.

Tears threatened to spill as I placed my arms around her neck in an embrace. She puffed smoke from her nostrils affectionately.

"Xie, how do I get back?"

"It seems you have a friend on his way, he'll be here shortly," she said, lifting herself back up.

"A friend? Is it Zuko? Did he follow me into the spirit world?" I asked, trying to recall if I felt Zuko cross over at the same time I did.

Her eyes twinkled just as a voice called out behind me.

"Nix!" I turned around to see Aang running into the spire.

"Aang! How did you find me?"

"I uh..." he trailed off, spotting Xie towering behind me, "Um, hello, who are you?"

Xie chuckled, "I haven't seen an avatar in millenia, but I think you can make a guess young one."

"The sun spirit," he said almost breathless, bowing before her.

"Nix, everyone is worried about you, I've come to lead you home."

I turned around to give one more look to Xie, she nodded.

"Let's go then," and I followed him out, the warmth that had filled my chest disipating as my distance from Xie grew.

"How did you get here so fast? I've only been gone for half an hour," I said, as we came upon an archway I had never seen before.

"Half an hour?" Aang asked, "It's been almost three days, Nix."

"Three days?! But that's impossible!"

He shrugged, "The spirit world works in mysterious ways, and I'm sure a spirit as old and powerful as the Sun does too."

"Right..."

Three days? First of all how embarrassing, to think I collapsed in front of Zuko and then have been unconscious for three days. I shuddered from the mortification. Second of all, what have I missed? There's so much I need to catch up on.

We came to a platform with an archway over it, and Aang stood on it, his skin growing translucent. He held out a hand and I took it. As soon as I did I opened my eyes to my room in the Fire Nation Palace.

I quickly sat up to gather my bearings, but before I could I was attacked from both sides in a hug, Katara on my left and Zuko on my right. 

"Hey guys," I laughed, unable to move with my arms pinned.

Aang stood from his meditative position across the room as my friends pulled away.

"I'm so glad you're ok, I was so worried- I mean, we were all so worried," Zuko said, tripping over his words slightly. 

I smiled at his cute blush-I mean- uh...

"What did the Sun spirit want?" Aang asked, joining us on the other side of the room.

"The sun spirit?!" Zuko asked startled slightly.

"You met the sun spirit?" Katara asked.

I nodded, "Yeah she, she wanted me to stay with her, or rather go back to her? I guess she knew that the dragons, the manifestation of her spirit in our world, were in danger, which is why she brought the first me back to life in the first place, to protect them. And now that the danger is gone, she wants me to stay in the spirit world."

"But, you came back," Katara said.

"I told her I wasn't ready... she let me come back but told me that this will be my last lifetime... So I'll die, properly this time."

"Die?" Zuko muttered, his hand reaching for mine.

I took it, trying to laugh lightly to difuse the tension in his shoulders, "Eventually yeah, I don't plan on doing it any time soon though."

"Right, yeah..."

I gave Zuko's hand a squeeze before pulling away, "So I was out for three days? What exactly happened?"

"We went into the... dragonbone catacombs-"

"Wait, you took the dragon priestess into a mass dragon grave? Zuko, how stupid are you?" Katara asked.

"I know, I know," he cringed, "I wasn't thinking, if I had just thought about it for a minute you wouldn't have gone in and collapsed and none of this would have happened," he sighed, "I'm an idiot and I'm so sorry I took you there."

"It's ok, I'm kind of glad you did... I think I want to go back someday, and bring the bones to a final resting place where they can be laid with honor."

Zuko nodded, solemn. The air grew thick with awkwardness so I changed the subject, "So when I was in the spirit world, did my eyes get all glowy like Aangs?"

"No, you just collapsed, and you were kind of shaking for a while, I thought you were dead so I used this," he pulled the amulet I gave him from under his robes, the small life fire I'd put in it gone, "But it didn't work so I sent a hawk to Katara and Aang," he nodded to them, "and when they arrived earlier Aang sensed you were in the spirit world."

"Well thank you," I said to Aang and Katara whist reaching to put a new life fire flame in the empty amulet, "I don't know how I could have left without your help."

"It's always my pleasure, and I got to meet the Sun, the first Avatar to do so in millennia," Aang smiled in a way that reminded me of how young he was.

"Well I think we should give Nix some space, I'm sure she's exhausted," Katara said, nodding not to subtly to the boys.

"Right-"

"Sure thing-"

They both quickly found their way from my room and Katara turned to me, "You know, Zuko was really worried about you."

"He was?" I asked, feeling my stomach flip.

She nodded, "Maybe it wouldn't hurt to tell him he's the reason you came back," she winked.

"Hey!" I crossed my arms, "He's not the only reason, come on, Katara, I have other things in life that I want to accomplish than letting myself fall for the first boy I met outside of my tribe."

"Ok, ok," she held her hands up in mock surrender, "regardless, I hope you can get some rest, we've been subjected to some of the palace rumors and it sounds like you're constantly busy running an independent civilization remotely, you deserve a little bit of time off."

I smiled, "Thanks Katara, really."

She returned the smile and excused herself from my room, closing the door softly.

I'm the last Phoenix... What in the world am I supposed to do now?


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol is anyone even reading this garbo?
> 
> Pronunciation reminders:
> 
> Itzel: It-zell (like cell)  
> Mokuxa: Moe-koo-shah  
> Cienega: See-en-eh-guh  
> Kache: Catch-ee  
> Boxito: Boe-she-toe

"You know Itzel, I've been thinking," I said, nodding to the guards we passed as we walked through the palace gardens.

"Oh?"

"We should have your elder ceremony in Mokuxa."

"Really?!" she asked, turning to me with excitement.

"Yeah, I mean, we've already had to delay it thanks to my untimely spirit world adventure, and since Zuko and I are opening up the city to the rest of the world soon, we'll have to be in Mokuxa anyway."

"So it's 'Zuko and I' now?" She said, nudging me with her shoulder.

I rolled my eyes, trying to hide my blush, "You know what I mean, Itzel." I said.

"Well I'm glad we're going back to Mokuxa, I miss home, and I know you do too, but you have to know Phoenix, they expect you to return for good."

"I know," I sighed, "But there really is more keeping me here, assisting with the Harmony Restoration Project, Figureing out the diplomatic relationship between the Fire Nation and the Sun Warriors, and making sure we don't get screwed over, not that I think Zuko would do so personally, but he's not perfect and something could slip through. Also, I haven't told anyone about this yet, but when we battled Azula, I used a new kind of fire..."

"A new kind of fire?"

I nodded, "It was purple, and it was kind of like life fire, except it didn't heal her physically, it was like it was reaching into her mind... I think it, helped her. But I haven't tried creating it again, I'm still not sure what it is or what it can do, but if it could help to heal psychological illness..."

Itzel sighed, "All noble things, but Phoenix the people will say that you should appoint an ambassador, and you can do all the research you want in Mokuxa, you'd even be closer to the Masters. As your oldest friend, I want you to be able to live whereever you want and do whatever you want, but you should be prepared for backlash."

I nodded but didn't say anything, couldn't think of anything to say.

"Are you going to tell them about the Sun spirit?"

"I'm not sure yet," I said truthfully.

"Well, I think some may question your right to rule if you're the end of the Phoenixes and you don't even live in the city you govern. The people may demand a new government, and a new leader."

"You think so?"

"I think Cienega will think so, and even though he's been stripped of his title, he can still talk, and people can still listen, a rebellion could rise against you."

"But I have the spiritual right to rule."

"You do, and I know many will stay loyal to you, but you have to be prepared for how all of your actions will be perceived by the people."

I groaned, "I know its selfish but I've spent my whole life in our ruined city with a dying people, I want to explore the world and meet new faces and see new things. I've read countless journals of my predecessors, read of their stagnant lives and meaningless ramblings. I want more than that. I'm a mortal woman Itzel, no more rebirth cycles. I want to make this last one count."

She nodded.

"We'll think of a long term solution, but for now, what if I left you in my place as like a regent, you're an Elder now anyway and you've been my right hand for years. It will be similar to how the Elders handle themselves every time I'm at the beginning of a cycle and am a newborn up to my 13th birthday, so it's not like it's never been done."

"You mean you want me to stay in Mokuxa and be like, interim leader? Without you?"

"Yeah, is that ok with you?" I asked, giving her look of shock a smile.

"Um-yeah, I mean-if you think I'm qualified."

"Yes I think you're definitely qualified, no one knows me better than you do, Itzel, besides, you taught me everything I know."

She grinned, "That's true at least."

"And it's not like I'll never see you, I'll come to visit often, and we'll have to send letters back and forth all the time-"

"And maybe I'll come visit you too and you could treat me to some of the palace luxuries," as she said 'luxuries' she nodded to one of the guards across the clearing, he was probably in his early 20s, so around Itzel's age.

I laughed, "What happened to Rojelio?"

She shrugged, "It just wasn't working out, so I'm back on the market."

"Well good luck getting a Fire Nation boy to notice you, I've found leadership positions here tend to be male dominated, so far to the point that there hasn't been a female Fire Lord before. They may be intimidated by your political power."

"That may be, but you seem to be doing just fine."

"Itzel!" I said, swatting at her.

"Oh, Phoenix, you should have seen him when you were unconscious. He looked awful, I'm not even sure that he slept at all, constantly going in to check on you, walking by your room, it was exhausting just watching him."

"He... really?"

She nodded with a smile.

"Well, he was probably just worried that I wouldn't wake up, since the Sun Warriors would definitely blame him for anything bad happening to me and might retaliate."

"That's not the fun way of thinking about it," Itzel said pouting slightly.

"It's realistic though," I said with a shrug.

* * *

"So, are you ready to see the city again?" I asked, stepping up next to the Fire Lord as he looked out across the water to the towering crags surrounding the city of Mokuxa. The sun was beginning to set.

"I just hope they'll receive the reopening well... especially with how Cienega reacted."

"Don't worry about that, Cienega has always been sort of a divergent opinionist, the rest of the people I expect will be excited to finally have something to pull them from monotony."

"I hope so," Zuko said just as one of the ship hands approached with a bow.

"Fire Lord, High Priestess,"

Zuko nodded for him to carry on.

"We'll be docking in about 20 minutes, shall we prepare the palanquins?"

"Whats a palanquin?" I asked, glancing at Zuko.

He looked at me like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have and quickly said "No, no, we won't be needing those, I arranged for eel hounds for the Priestess and I to reach the city."

Zuko's voice was weirdly stern.

The ship hand nodded furiously and turned around, presumedly to round the aforementioned eel hounds.

"What was that about?" I asked, laughing lightly to try to ease the tension in Zuko's posture.

"A, uh, palanquin is something my father was quite the fan of..."

"And what is it?" I asked.

"Well... it's basically a really decorative box with a throne in it and its uh, carried by servants from place to place. It was my father's favorite form of transportation."

"Sounds, uh... like something the Phoenix King would endorse."

Zuko cringed slightly.

"I'm assuming the servants still have jobs elsewhere in the palace?" I asked.

"Oh um... I don't know actually..."

I nodded silently.

I know Zuko is an idealist and a progressive and is really trying to lead his people to a better future, but sometimes I forget how little actual experience he has with government.

"Zuko..."

He looked at me.

"I don't mean to pry, and you can tell me to mind my own business if you want, but can I ask, how much did your father teach you about actually governing a country?"

Zuko let out a sarcastic laugh, turning to put his hands on the railing, looking out over the water. "The first war meeting I attended, my father wanted to use a squadron of new recruits as bait. They would all die. They were young and loved their country and they were pawns for sacrifice to him. So I spoke up, out of turn, trying to reason with him against his plan."

Zuko glanced down, "He had me fight him in an Agni Kai."

I couldn't hold back a gasp. An Agni Kai? "How old...?"

"I was 13. I refused to fight my own father, I begged him, I apologized. He told me to fight. I didn't. So, he gave me my scar, and sent me into exile."

My blood began to boil. For a father to- to disfigure his son? In the name of his pride, his honor? Aang shouldn't have shown him mercy.

Zuko called out my name and reached to place a hand on my arm. As soon as his fingers made contact he hissed and pulled his hand away, the action jolted me from my thoughts.

"You're burning up, literally," Zuko said, looking to my arm.

"I'm what?" I asked, looking down to my skin. It looked normal, and felt normal, but before either of us could say anything, I heard the start of a drum beat.

My attention was pulled over as I saw the elders and some of the other tribe members who came to the Fire Nation Capital had set up a drum circle, singing a homecoming chant.

I turned to Zuko, "We're not done talking about this ok?"

He held his hands up in mock surrender, following after me as I walked to join the drum circle, trying to put on a reassuring smile for Itzel who looked at me with slight worry.

I hovered on the outside clapping along with those without a drum as a few benders did the dancing dragon in the middle before doing some of the dances for homecoming and victory.

Despite the fact that I've only gotten to be in a homecoming drum circle once, and was partially ecstatic to be in one again, my mind was riddled with the image of a 13 year-old Zuko being burned by his father.

I glanced around and realized this must be pretty odd to the Fire Nation people on the ship as they all looked in with curious looks.

Zuko stood next to me watching, the angst and pain seemed to have left his system for the time being, which is something at least.

Then Elder Akna pulled out an ocarina, of which she is a master of, and she started playing, the harmonies filling the air and soaring above the singing.

The energy of the music grew as we docked, and then my tribe all stood, carying their drums and each other's drums as we disembarked, still playing away.

Zuko nodded to the security guards and eel hounds waiting for us and I relented, mounting mine and holding my hand out for Akna, who got on behind me without missing a beat, her playing rising above the group.

We marched through the city and I found myself laughing, Itzel was really getting into it, and she has a beautiful voice, but at the same time Zuko rode next to me with a bit of an awkward look on his face as he saw the procession gain more members as we passed people in the crumbling streets.

By the time we reached the city center the entire tribe had been accumulated, and everyone was dancing and singing and playing, fires dancing around, lighting up the area as the sun had fallen behind the mountains.

Itzel pulled me down from the eel hound and into the middle of the circle, pulling me along to one of her favorite dances which I knew by heart of course, Itzel had once forced me to memorize it.

The dance, called the skyward serpent, traditionally called for firebending, and Itzel was a non-bender, so I started a flame in formation and split it to twirl on both sides, suplimenting her part for her. I could feel the energy rising in the crowd as Itzel and I flew through the air, the tempo accelerating just barely.

We finally landed with a pound into the final position and I released the twin fire snakes above us, exploding the the air into red fire works, a trick I had been practicing after seeing fireworks at Zuko's coronation.

My people erupted with cheering around me and one of the other Elders approached me with a bow, bearing my ceremonial robes which I gladly accepted and slipped into.

I was flooded with happiness as I ascending the stairs of the temple about halfway and turned to face the crowd.

"My people!" I shouted, the volume dropping instantly, "I've returned with your newest Elder, Itzel daughter of Jorge and Elona," cheering blossomed around Itzel as the people near her bowed. "We will honor her at sunrise, but until then let us honor our guest, the Fire Lord, with a feast!"

The people cheered again and all made their ways to the Warrior's hall.

Zuko, surrounded by his guards, waited for me at the bottom of the steps.

"So, what do you think so far?" I asked, slightly breathless.

"It's much more lively than the last time I was here," he said with a smile, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well, we have something to celebrate now. Itzel's new position, my return, the first actual outsiders for the first time in who knows how long, and we have a new opportunity to be a part of this new world. We can rebuild, regrow, revitalize. You're giving my people something they've never had before."

"No, you're giving it to them, you've been sitting in more meeting with Fire Nation officials than I have these passed few days."

"Have I really?" I asked with a laugh.

"Yeah... Nix, you're a natural leader," there was a small hint of sadness to his tone.

"Oh, thank you, but I only have one city to lead, you have a whole country, and you're new to this, give yourself some credit."

He looked at me like it wasn't totally obvious that he felt inadequate in comparison to me and that I totally wouldn't be able to pick up on it.

"Look, tonight Zuko, just relax, eat, laugh, meet new people, then get some sleep, we can talk all you want after Itzel's ceremony in the morning."

"Right, of course."

We turned into the building and the delightful smell of traditional Mokuxa cooking filled my senses. Oh how I had missed the spices, the peppers, and by the dragons the corn, I didn't think I could miss corn so much.

Before I could even decide where to get started Itzel rushed over to us, her mouth half full, "Phoenix! Rosa made her red chile tamales!"

"She did!?" I asked, looking around her to spot Rosa.

"Come on or they'll be gone,"

I followed Itzel, grabbing Zuko's arm and pulling him behind me.

"What's a tamale?" he asked.

I laughed, "It's like a steamed corn and chile gift from the dragons, oh it's so good, you have to try one. Rosa is kind of an older woman who could never have children and took it upon herself to essentially take care of everyone in the city by her culinary expertise, and my favorite thing she made for me as a kid were her red chile tamales."

Zuko made a sound of acknowledgment as we shuffled through the crowd until I spotted the short woman. 

"Rosa!"

"Ah Priestess, it's so wonderful to see you home!" she pulled me into a crushing hug, "Ah and Fire Lord, it's a pleasure to have you in our city," she said giving Zuko a bow.

"It's a pleasure to be here," he said, bowing back.

"Rosa are there any of your red chile tamales left?" I asked, peering around her to the table.

"I saved some just for you my dear," she said with a smile, pulling them from under a cloth.

I took the two she handed to me and gave one to Zuko, who held it uncertain.

I laughed slightly and nudged him, "You unwrap it from the corn husk and discard it," I nodded to the pile of husks on the table, "then you eat it like a burrito." I said, slipping mine out of the husk.

"Uh, what's a burrito?" he asked.

Rosa made a sound of astonishment while Itzel and I laughed.

"Don't worry you'll have a taste of everything before the night ends," I said watching him take off the corn husk on his tamale.

I happily engulfed mine, savoring the delightfully spicy chile recipe that Rosa kept a secret and watched Zuko bite into his.

"What do you think?" Itzel asked having finished hers.

He smiled, "It's spicier than I imagined but I like it," he said.

"Good, now lets find some chorizo next," I said, taking his arm again and thanking Rosa profusely before going back into the crowd of people milling around between tables and trying foods.

I wasn't sure if he was lying or not but Zuko seemed to like nearly everything I forced him to try, and he seemed to be enjoying himself.

I was nearly going to burst as we stopped at practically every table, but then the flan arrived.

Itzel weaved her way through the crowd to us balancing three trays of flan on her arms.

"Don't worry I got us good ones," she said.

I laughed and gladly accepted mine.

"So what's this?" Zuko asked.

"This is flan, it's a very traditional dessert, made from a kind of custard, caramel, which is made from slow heated sugar, and vanilla, which is extracted from a flower that grows up the mountains."

I took a bite of mine and turned as I heard a sound from Zuko.

"Oh wow! How have I never tasted vanilla before? This is amazing!"

I laughed lightly, "I'm glad you like it, let's go meet Chaya and Ferro, they farm the vanilla, among other things."

I led him through the crowd to the source of the flan.

"Chaya, Ferro, how are you?"

"Ah Priestess! It's so good to see you, we couldn't be happier that you're back!" Chaya said.

How is the vanilla coming this year? The Fire Lord is quite the fan." I said.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Zuko throw me a look but I didn't pay him any mind.

"It's going well! And as much as I'm glad to have the extra hands, Cienega is quite a bit to handle."

"Is he causing you trouble? should I speak with him?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing we can't get under control. Braiding the beans normally gets him quite and lets the rest of us work in peace." Chaya said.

I nodded.

"Braiding the breans?" Zuko asked curiously.

"Yes, Vanilla beans are taken from the plant and then slowly braided and set in the sun to bring out the flavor and cure, it's much more labor intensive than it sounds, but clearly the result is something special." Ferro said.

Zuko looked down to his last bite of flan, "It really is... I'm sure the High Priestess will elaborate further, but with talk of opening up the city, I think a market for this incredibly fine spice could pop up quickly and help stimulate the economy in Mokuxa, and thus opening up your farm to new buyers and workers. Is that something you'd be interested in?"

"Well," Chaya looked to her husband, "we'd certainly be open to it, but our main priority is keeping the Sun Warrior tradition alive. In Mokuxa you do things the right way and the long way or you don't do them at all."

"Of course, cultural preservation is the first and foremost of my goals as well."

Chaya and Ferro looked Zuko over, "It's about time the Fire Nation got someone with a decent head in charge, but don't forget," Ferro said, "the High Priestess has the power of the dragons within her every breath, it would not be hard for her to defend her people."

"Oh I have no doubt, in fact I count on it." Zuko said.

The couple smiled at him satisfied and turned to enjoy the dwindling feast elsewhere.

I looked at Zuko who looked back at me now slightly worried, "Sorry, was I not supposed to say that?" he asked.

I shrugged, "Zuko, you can say whatever you want, you're my guest. I'm just glad to see you, I don't know, being Fire Lord."

He nodded slowly.

"Well I think it's about time for us to wrap up the night, I don't know about you two but I'm full," Itzel said cutting into the conversation.

"Here, I can show you to where you'll be staying," I said nodding towards the exit from the Warrior's hall.

Zuko and I left, followed closely by his guards, and we made our way to the left of the temple, where my house stands in a corner of the walls.

"This is one of the most protected areas in the city, it's easy to guard and hard to get to." I said nodding to the small building, "it's also not completely falling apart," I added with a laugh.

Zuko smiled, "Thanks."

"I expect you at the eternal flame at sunrise, you need to be there for Itzel's ceremony," I said, turning to head back towards the temple.

"Nix, wait," he grabbed my arm.

I paused looking at him expectantly, "Yeah?"

"Um, sorry nevermind."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah, sorry," he turned towards my house and started heading in.

If I wasn't so tired I would have gone after him, but my feet carried me towards the temple instead. I boosted myself up the walls onto the top balcony and from there climbed to the roof.

I used to sleep up here a lot whenever I felt daunted. My sleeping roll is even still laying across the stone.

I smiled, breathing in the fresh air and pulled my ceremonial robes off. Then unclipping my gorget, I set the golden armor piece next to the bangles that soon came off as well.

I plopped onto the sleeping roll and pulled the tie from my hair, letting it splay itself on the stone around me.

With a deep breath I looked up to the tiny suns, just the same as they've always been.

I let my thoughts drift, to the city, the occasional voice that carried from the street as people turned in from the feast. To be back home felt so... weird.

I thought I would finally feel like normal again but I don't. Seeing my people makes me happy, and I certainly missed them, but I also feel like I'm not the Phoenix I was when I left.

I closed my eyes, trying not to focus on the thoughts in my head but instead the sounds of the night around me, like a forgotten lullaby trying to cradle me to sleep.

Then I heard footsteps against stone, it sounded much closer than the street and after a moment I opened my eyes and turned towards the sound to see a pair of hands grip the ledge to the roof.

As silently as I could I lept to my feet, the adrenaline pounding its way through my blood.

A shadowed figure pulled itself up and lifted its face to the darkness, two yellow eyes squinting at me.

"Zuko," I exhaled, "you really had me worried there, some warning next time would be nice,"

He stood, dusting the dirt from his robe, "Sorry, I didn't know if you were already asleep and I didn't want to risk waking you," his eyes traveled to the half open sleep roll on the stone in between us.

"Why aren't you asleep?" I asked, bringing his eyes back to me.

He pulled a journal from inside his robes, I recognized the doodles on the front, it was the one I was writing in before leaving Mokuxa. Itzel must not have hidden it well.

"You have a lovely home," he said, something underneath his tone that I couldn't quite decipher.

"Um, thank you?" why do I feel like I'm being berated?

"How did you find me up here?" I asked after a moment.

He held up the journal again.

"How much did you read?" I asked, suddenly uncomfortable with the thought of Zuko indulging in my private ramblings.

"Only as far as the first page, where you mentioned sleeping up here to watch the tiny suns."

I nodded.

"So were you just going to tough it out on top of a building all night while I intruded on your home?"

The sudden image of Zuko in my house, even... in my bed, forced a heavy blush to cover my skin and I thanked the cover of darkness.

"It's not a big deal, there isn't really any luxurious places for the Fire Lord to stay in Mokuxa, not yet at least, and I was actually looking forward to sleeping up here under the tiny suns."

"Nix," he said, closing the distance between us, "did you forget that I've been a refugee for the past year? You camped with me-with us, for long enough you should know that I don't care about any of that, or need it... I'll stay up here with you tonight."

"Um- but- what about your guards, they'll see you're missing- and then what if someone sees us and, they- um-"

"Nix, relax," Zuko chuckled, "it will be like old times, and you can tell me more about the tiny suns."

"Well... I guess- if you're sure you want to stay out here all night, you made it seem like it was such a crime like a minute ago," I said, managing to regain my composure.

"Well, buddy system," he said turning to the ledge again, "I'm going to get a blanket or something, you make a fire, I'll be back in just a minute."

"Um, ok?" I said, watching him silently slip off the roof.

I pulled my stuff closer to the middle of the temple roof where a fire would be less noticeable and found a few twigs scattered about, left by birds. After making a small life fire, so it wouldn't burn out, and arranging my sleeping roll for optimal star gazing, Zuko returned with one of the blankets from my bed.

I sat down while he laid the blanket out next to me, unceremoniously flopping onto his back, which must not have been super comfortable since it was still stone and my blanket was pretty thin, as is most of the cloth in Mokuxa (no reason for it to be thick anyway).

I laid back, looking up to the tiny suns with him, not sure how to break the silence until he did it for me.

"Are the stars important to the Sun Warriors?"

"Important? Well, boxito, they are the souls of dead dragons, so yeah pretty important," I said with a smile.

"Sorry, of course, I just meant like, how your tattoos tell stories, is there a kind of significance with the stars too?"

"Yeah, is it not for the Fire Nation? Do you not have constellations?"

"We do, but it wasn't something that was ever important when we were learning from the tutors growing up."

"That may be more of a wartime-country-being-led-by-a-tyrant kind of a thing."

He hummed, "I suppose so."

"Have you thought of what changes you might instate for the education system in the Fire Nation?"

"Yeah, I actually had a long conversation with Aang about it a few weeks ago, during the war he had gone undercover in a Fire Nation town and even attended a school."

"Sounds like something reckless Aang would do," I said with a smile.

"Yeah. But I have given it a lot of thought, and I've started on a plan for that with some of my advisors but I wanted your input too."

"Like what?"

Cloth russled next to me as Zuko shrugged his shoulders, "Teach me about the stars."

"Teach you about the stars?"

"Yeah," he said turning his head to look at me.

I glanced over and made eye contact briefly before returning my gaze to the stars.

"Well, do you see those three suns right above us at zenith?"

"Zenith?" he asked.

"Yeah, zenith is just referring to the point directly above you, and right now at zenith is a little triangle of three stars, do you see them?"

"I think so yeah."

"Those are the beak of the hawk, a very important constellation. It tells the story of a man named Kache, Elder Kache was named after him actually. But in the story he was a fierce warrior, and protector of the dragons. There was a mother dragon who he was sworn to protect which back then wasn't that uncommon since after a dragon lays an egg they go into a sort of hibernation. So Kache laid guard outside of the dragon's cave every day for two years while the dragon slept with her egg. On the night the dragonette was set to hatch an assassin approached the cave, hoping to slay the dragon mother and take the dragonette for himself. Kache fought bravely and killed the assassin, but not before the assassin could pierce Kache's leg with a poisoned blade. Kache fell as the poison overtook him, the Dragon mother awaking from her slumber just to watch him die as her dragonette was born. She cried out in anguish to see Kache pass and her ancestors in the sky heard her. So they turned Kache into a hawk and displayed him in the sky for the rest of time, so all could see his bravery and valor."

"Wow."

"It's a nice story, but what's more important about the hawk constellation is if you look at it's tail tip, which is just to the right of the beak and down a bit, it's a kind of bright tiny sun," I held my arm up to point, knowing that it wouldn't do much to show him.

"Um, which one?" he asked.

I pointed at the beak and then slid my arm to point at the tail feather star. Zuko didn't respond so to eliminate the parallax between our eyes, I scooted closer to him, placing my head right next to his and brushing my shoulder against his. This way my arm would be pointing to the star for both of our pairs of eyes.

"Oh I see, it has the fainter one just above it?"

"Yes," I put my arm down, brushing against Zuko's arm again. I wasn't sure if it was awkward that we were so close, but I also reasoned that is he wanted to back away now, this was his chance. But he didn't, he stayed where he was, his shoulder against mine, the side of his head against mine...

"So what's that star?"

Right I'm supposed to be talking about the tiny suns, "That one is called Actis, when it reaches zenith at midnight in the winter, it marks the begining of the calendar. It also reaches zenith in the summer and that marks the halfway point of the year. We have an observatory on the other side of the city, it's the big round building on the left when you come in. We have several different calendar cycles we observe. There's the yearly one, of course, the lunar cycle calendar, the solar eclipse calendar, the lunar eclipse calendar, the-"

"Eclipse calendar?"

"Oh, yeah of course, we've been studying the stars since the Sun Warrior civilization began. The solar eclipse cycle is just over 18 years long, there are of course more precise measurements but every 18 or so years the cycle of solar eclipses repeats itself. That's how we predict them, including this last one we had."

Zuko sat up, "But we only knew about it because Azula infultrated the Earth Kingdom and got the information from the Avatar's plan, and they only knew about it because they found it in a secret spirit library that's lost forever. And you guys have been able to predict them this whole time?"

I sat up, "Yeah? But in our defense, we have been in hiding for thousands of years. I just assumed you guys had calendars."

"Not like this we don't. But this information could revolutionize our understanding of the sky, and being able to predict solar and lunar eclipses is pretty powerful information."

"I agree," I said slowly, "I mean, the solar eclipse left even me powerless. I can only assume a lunar eclipse would do the same for waterbenders."

"Yeah, I saw that first hand."

"Hey are you ok? You've been acting kind of weird all day."

"Yeah I'm fine," Zuko said, looking down.

"Ok..." I turned my body to face him, I wanted to ask further but I wasn't sure how to phrase it, so I thought about what else had been bugging me lately, "Well, then can I ask you something?"

"Of course," he said, turning to me.

"Why are you helping Mokuxa? You could just demand that we bow to you and join the Fire Nation in return for you aid, you could just leave us to our own devices, but instead you leave us with our independence and give us protection, resources, alliance, and ask for nothing in return. I don't get it."

Zuko glanced into the fire, "I don't know... you-the dragons, made me see who I really am, and what fire really is. I want to repay that. Without it, I wouldn't have my bending back, Aang never would have mastered all four elements, we never would have won against the Fire- my father... I would have died facing Azula if you weren't there."

His answer left me unsatisfied, "I understand that, but you're still in a position of power and you're expending your countries resources for literally nothing in return."

He was quiet for a moment.

"My father would have brought Mokuxa to it's knees within the day. He would have slaughtered every last person here, set the place ablaze, thousands of years of history to burn. He would have destroyed the dragons without a second thought and I don't even want to think about what he would have done to you."

"So this is all about your father?" I asked softly.

"I can't let myself become him and I'm afraid I will. But at the same time I have no idea what I'm doing... I've been going to see him more."

"Zuko," I reached out to place a hand on his shoulder but he shrugged away from the touch, "You have to stop going to him, he certainly doesn't have your best interests at heart. He's confusing you, getting into your head. You're not your father, you never have been and you never will be."

Zuko looked up at me.

"Promise me you won't go see him again."

He glanced away, "Nix..."

I rolled forward onto my knees, leaning towards him and grabbing his shoulders, forcing him to look at me.

"Promise me."

I could feel the fire next to me growing hotter but I didn't care, Zuko needed to hear me and I wasn't in the mood to keep my emotions in check.

"I promise."

I searched his eyes. I think he was telling me the truth but I have to keep an eye on him. His father's influence only ever is a bad thing. 

After a moment I sat back on my sleeping roll, "You know, Zuko, if there's anyone you're like it's your uncle."

"Really?"

I nodded, "I mean, who else has sworn themselves to protecting the masters and preserving our culture. And that's not where the similarities end."

Zuko looked into the fire, nodding slightly. 

"Look, it's been a long day, lets just go to sleep. Tomorrow we can talk more about everything."

"Right, of course."

I dimmed the flame of the fire at our feet and adjusted my sleeping roll to give it a little more distance from Zuko before wrapping it around me and closing my eyes, letting myself drift off.


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pronunciation reminders
> 
> Itzel: It-zell (like cell)  
> Mokuxa: Moe-koo-shah  
> Cienega: See-en-eh-guh  
> Kache: Catch-ee  
> Boxito: Boe-shee-toe  
> Ajeno: Ah-hen-no  
> Akna: Ack-nuh  
> Edrijo: Ed-ree-ho  
> Mucane: Moo-kahn-ey  
> Zyanya: Zee-an-eya

I was up at sunrise, the sky still dark as the sun lay behind the mountains, but I snuffed out the fire and started pulling on my gorget and bangles. 

I nudged Zuko as I secured my ceremonial robes over me and he grumbled.

"Come on sleepy boy, we have a big day ahead of us."

He didn't respond so I shot a little stream of fire a foot or so in front of his face.

He jolted up, "Ok, I'm awake."

"I'm gonna head to the flame, you should sneak back into my house and then head on out so your guards don't get suspicious."

"Right, I'll meet you there in a bit," he turned and walked to the edge of the roof, "Oh, and Nix?"

"Yeah?"

"Your hair looks nice when it's down," He said, jumping down out of sight.

I tried rubbing the heat from my cheeks as I looked around for my hair tie, quickly pulling it back.

I dropped down to the back of the temple where the alcove of the eternal flame burned.

I knelt to meditate until the elders arrived but was almost immediately interrupted by a voice.

"High Preistess! Good Morning! I've brought- oh, oh no have I interrupted?"

I stood and turned to the voice, it was a young girl, her name was Zyanya, she was the daughter of a weaver and while I knew of her I never spoke with her for longer than a few minutes. She was holding a small box in front of her.

"Um, hi Zyanya, what can I help you with?" I asked.

"Elder Itzel appointed me as your new handmaiden," she said, bowing.

"Oh, uh, ok." I said. I hadn't thought of having a new handmaiden... I know it's traditional, but in my head I'll be staying in the Fire Nation long term, at least ideally, and I would hate to drag this young girl (who can't be older than 14) from her home.

"I brought the piercing materials for you from the temple," she walked over to me, setting the box on the alter in front of the flame.

"Thanks." 

"What can I do for you now my Priestess?"

"Uh, well feel free to just, hang out I guess," I said awkwardly, kneeling again before the eternal flame.

"Ok, I'll just do that," she said, stepping back and hovering a few feet away.

I returned to my meditation, hearing footsteps enter the courtyard, and by their silence I could tell it was the elders. Then Itzel finally arrived, kneeling before the flame at my side.

As soon as she had the drumming commenced, and I stood, offering my oldest friend my hand, which she took, rising. I turned and from the ceremonial box I took the needle and plate, sticking the end of the needle into the eternal flame.

Itzel took deep breaths as I placed the plate on the back of her ear lobe and lined up the glowing needle against the front. She sucked in a breath as I peirced the skin, sliding the needle the rest of the way through to pass completely. 

"You good?" I whispered, the drumming loud enough that only she could hear me.

"Yeah," she returned, and I moved onto the next ear, piercing it as well.

When I finished I took the golden studs from the ceremonial box and slid them through the new holes in her ear lobes, securing them with the backing. Then I took the jade emblems and hooked them over the studs. They dangled from her ears catching the sunlight that was just beginning to stream from over the mountains.

The chanting began as I pulled a bit of fire from the eternal flame and converted it into life fire, letting it swirl around Itzel in the purifying ritual. It found nothing wrong with her of course, and besides healing up the new peircings in her ears, it went smoothly.

When the chant came to its end I circled the fire around her one last time before dispelling it.

"Itzel, do you swear to protect your people from that which seeks to destroy it?"

"I do."

"And do you swear to uphold it's laws and guide it's people to prosperity?"

"I do."

"And do you swear to serve the Masters in whatever way is divined to you?"

"I do."

I turned to the crowd of Elders and some of the people who woke up early enough to want to attend and said; "By the dragons I introduce your new Elder, Itzel."

Cheering broke out and Itzel was overrun by hugs. I held back, it isn't propper for the Priestess to show such an outward expression of love, especially since Itzel's an Elder now.

I'l have to congratulate her later. 

"That was definitely interesting," came Zuko's voice from behind me.

I turned as he stepped next to me.

"Uh, ok? Sorry not sure how to respond to that," I said with a laugh.

"I just mean, like I know you have piercings in your ears, as do the other elders, and that maybe it would be a kind of symbol of power but I hadn't actually pictured how it would be done."

I nodded, "It's not really that painful, I mean it is at first but the life fire gets rid of the pain pretty quickly."

"What does it symbolize? The piercings I mean."

"Well it does indicate a position of power, all the elders have them, as do I. They're normally worn as plain gold studs, but for certain celebrations and events you clips decorations onto them like gems or feathers. We get them because they're supposed to show our ability to hear the dragons and relay that information to the tribe, like opening our ears. Though it's purely symbolic as it doesn't do anything and I'm the only one who can commune with the dragons directly anyway."

"Interesting."

"If I can hazard a guess I'd say this isn't an ancient fire bending tradition you're interested in adopting," I said, turning to look at him.

"No, not necessarily," he smiled.

"Come on, lets head to the Inner Chamber, the Elder meeting won't start for a while but we can get talking about details," I said, leading him through to the front of the council building and into the Inner Chambers where Elder meetings take place.

* * *

"I swear that with the cooperation of your people we can rebuild this city in no time. My architects have studied the ancient texts we harbor for all information involving the infrastructure of this city and they believe that with the introduction of metal tools and some of the finest Earth benders, we can have the city ready to open in just 6 weeks," Zuko said.

"You mean to tell me that in just over a month, we'll have an internationally connected city, all built by the fire nation-"

"With help from the Earth Kingdom and Northern Water Tribe." One of Zuko's advisors cut in.

"Right, but after all this, all you want Fire Lord, sir, is for 60% of our trade to be with the Fire Nation alone?" Elder Akna finished.

"I really don't think it's a lot to ask, I think of Mokuxa as the Fire Nation's sister and am happy to help rebuild, but I do have a nation of my own to keep in mind."

"It's not that we think the offer is unfair Fire Lord," I said, turning his attention to me, "It's that we're surprised there isn't more that you want."

"I understand your concern, but I do truely belive it is in the Fire Nation's best interest to keep Mokuxa an independent cultural hub where we can all focus on protecting and preserving the dragons and the Sun Warrior culture."

I stayed silent as I looked to my Elders. I knew Itzel was on board, and so was Kache and Mucane, but I wanted a unanimous vote before acting, that would preserve my people's trust in me as a fair leader.

"I think it could work," Akna said after several moments.

"Elder Edrijo? What say you?" I asked.

"I want to say that I'm a big fan, but it seems to good to be true, I don't trust the Fire Nation to handle this with our absolute best interests at heart."

"Would it satisfy you for the Priestess to oversee the construction in the Fire Nation, that way she can keep an eye on the Fire Lord and all executive decisions while we, the Elders can oversee things on the ground floor," Itzel asked.

I turned to her, "Itzel, I'm not so sure that's-"

"That would certainly ease my disdain."

"Let's slow down here, everyone," I said, "Elder Edrijo are you seriously saying that you all would want me to be stationed at the Fire Nation Capital to oversee the rebuild?"

"Well, Preistess we know that you just got back, but I think it would be the best case scenario, that way you ensure we get a voice in all international affairs and the Fire Nation doesn't overstep their bounds," Kache said.

"Fire Lord, do you accept these terms?" Akna said, turning to Zuko.

"To what degree would you all like the Priestess to oversee the project?"

"As much as possible would be nice, your Lordship," Itzel said.

"I will personally guarantee the comfort, security, and power of your High Priestess as my guest to oversee the rebuilding of Mokuxa and it's international affairs," Zuko said, his eyes landing on mine.

I looked over to make eye contact with Itzel, she had a point and I knew of course that she had my back.

"Fire Lord Zuko, if you could leave my people and I alone for a moment," I said.

"Of course, Priestess," he said, rising with his officials and leaving the Inner Chamber.

"Let me get this straight," I said once they were gone, "You all really want me to represent Mokuxa on the global stage and oversee all of it's rebuild efforts?"

"Of course Priestess, there isn't anyone we would trust more," Mucane said.

"Do you have reservations about this arrangement?" Akna asked.

"I don't, I just want to be absolutely certain it's what we all agree on before taking action. Taking the decision to open the city is certainly the right move, and I agree that having me keep the Fire Lord and his advisors in line is a nessicary precaution, but that would leave the city up to you all, and as much as I think it can be handled someone needs to have the day to day say-so in my potentially long-term absence. I think we should hold a vote for a Regent."

Edrijo nodded, "I agree, and I personally would like to nominate our young Itzel, she's already showing her initiative and passion, who better than someone young to facilitate change."

"You don't think someone with a little more experience should do it?" Akna asked.

"I don't think it's much an issue of experience as it is drive," Mucane said, "I know I'm getting old and while I'm happy to serve my people, I don't think I, or any of us old geesers, would be very effective as Regent."

"Itzel, you have my support of course," I said, giving her a nod which she returned with a smile.

"All in favor of appointing Itzel as Regent?" I asked to the table.

The vote was unanimous. 

"And just to cover our bases, all in favor of opening the city and establishing me to represent Mokuxa on the world scale?"

A unanimous vote again.

I stood and bowed, "Thank you for the faith in our plan for the future of Mokuxa and the support you've shown. I'm happy to serve alongside you in protection of the Masters and our people. Now, you all deserve the rest of the night off, we've been in this room for far too long. I'll handle the Fire Lord."

The Elders each bowed back and left the room chatting pleasantly until only Itzel and I were left.

"Funny how things work out in the end huh?" She said.

"I certainly don't think this is the end, Itzel," I said, wrapping my arm around her in a side hug, "but congratulations on your new begining as Elder and Regent."

"Thank you Phoenix," she said, enveloping me in a full hug, "I won't let you down."

"Itzel, I know you won't... and I just want you to know, that I think of you as my sister," I said, forcing myself to keep my sadness in.

"And I think of you as my sister," she said in return. I could hear the twinge of tears in her voice, causing some of my own to spill over.

"I love you, and I know you'll do an amazing job."

"I love you too, Phoenix, and don't get so caught up with your boyfriend that you forget about me ok?" she asked.

"Good one Itzel, but no boy will get in between us, especially not one that's not my boyfriend."

"Just saying," she said, pulling away.

I gave her another smile, "Listen, you need to get some rest, send in Zuko on your way out, I still have to discuss the agreement terms with him."

"Don't worry, I got it," Itzel said, a keen smile on her face.

"Don't scare him Itzel," I called after her, but the door had already shut.

Zuko stepped into the room a few moments later, his cheeks were slightly pink and I mentally facepalmed trying to figure out what Itzel my have said to him.

"No advisors?" I asked, as he closed the door behind him, we were alone.

He held up a blank scroll, "I figured we'd get some things written down and then tomorrow we can finalize everything and sign when we have your Elders and my advisory council present."

"Oh, ok, that works for me," I said.

"So what did you all agree on?" Zuko asked, taking his seat next to mine.

"Well, it boiled down to me taking leave of the city to oversee the rebuild efforts at the Fire Nation Capital, while Itzel stands in as Regent in my absense, which is essentially just like the tie-breaker of the Elders, they'll collectively be in charge but in certain matters she'll have the final say."

Zuko nodded, "If I understand it correctly the Southern Water Tribe has a similar structure in place."

I nodded, not sure what I should say.

Zuko finished scribbling down what I'd told him and then asked, "So, we've known each other for a while, or it least it feels that way..."

"Yeah?" I could feel my heart beating as my mind jumped to conclusions.

"But what exactly is your job?"

Yes of course it's about my job, by the dragons you're an idiot Phoenix.

"Well I'm in charge, I guess, I'm not really sure what to say. We have laws and customs, at this point all written by past Phoenixes, and I just kind of enforce those laws, and when new situations pop up, like this for example, I take charge and have the final say."

"Then why take a vote with your Elders? Why not make the decision on your own?"

"Well..." do I tell him that I secretly want to leave my city and experience the world so I want them to to be happy in my absence? "I know that any decisions I make will effect my people more so than me, and having the council vote on it ensures that it's something we can all agree on, like opening up the city. Then they have space to voice their concerns and they can be addressed."

All this was true of course, I do want what's best for my people.

"Mokuxa is a small city, in terms of population, and I pretty much know everyone personally. It makes my decisions seem more impactful because I can directly see the results of them. You could pass a law that banned people from sleeping in the streets. You may never see the effects of that living in the Fire Nation Capital, and that's not your fault, but in poor cities, you could be meaninglessly arresting thousands of people. Not that you would ever do something like that, but just for illustration."

"No, I understand what you mean. Has it been difficult? Being High Preistess?"

"Not really, before I took my position when I turned 13, I had been reading the scrolls from my previous life-cycles. Reading of our customs and histories and how to be a good leader. This situation itself is unprecedented so I'm kind of making it up as I go," I said, smiling lightly.

"Must be nice..." Zuko murmured. 

"What's bothering you?" I asked.

"I just don't know what I'm doing. I mean, I have so many ideas and things I want to change, but then there's so many unforeseen problems and little things that pop up that I'm completely unprepared for."

"Well I can't imagine your job is easy in the slightest, and you're new to it and making up a lot of it as you go, and I think you're doing a really good job so far."

"You think so?" Zuko asked, turning to me.

His eyebrow was lifted in slight disbelief and his lips turned down in a pout. My breath was momentarily caught before I could pull myself together.

"Yeah, I certainly couldn't do what you do."

"I highly doubt that," Zuko said, placing his hand on the table.

I glanced down to it and could feel my heart start to beat faster.

Calm down Phoenix, he doesn't feel that way about you.

"We should probably get going, it's late," I said after a moment.

"Ok, should I meet you on the roof in a few?"

"No, you should sleep in a real bed," I said, letting a stern tone into my voice.

"Why don't we both just stay in your house?" Zuko asked.

"You have to realize how bad of an idea that is," I said plainly.

"Well, it's your house, you can sneak in through a back way or something, no one has to know, that way neither of us are out in the elements."

"Is this something I can get you to let go of?" I asked.

"No, not really," he smiled.

"Ok, I'll meet you there," I said, watching him give me a bow and leave the Inner Chamber.

Maybe 20 minutes had passed before I made my way across the city. I climbed up one of the old storage buildings and once out of sight, boosted myself up onto the wall. Then it was a simple task to walk along to my house and silently drop down onto my roof.

My landing made a small noise so I stayed put until I was sure Zuko's guards weren't listening anymore and then I creeped over to the trapdoor and dropped down.

Everything looked largely the same, Itzel definitely tidied up in here, for which I was eternally grateful. 

I turned and spotted Zuko sitting at my table, reading something.

He looked up a smiled, "Hey."

"Hey," I said, joining him in the corner of the room, "What are you reading?" I asked.

"It's one of your mother's journals. I had an advisor going through the library, I hope you don't mind, but the librarian helped and found this, it has the account of my Uncle in it."

"Oh, that's great," I said, the thought of my mother's journals jogging my memory to what Iroh had told me about my mother's secret journals. I had no idea where to start looking for those. I also knew that I wouldn't have much longer in Mokuxa and that I'd be too busy to even try to find them.

Zuko looked like he was going to say something when we heard a sound across the room and I saw Zyanya standing underneath the trapdoor to my roof.

I stood quickly as she looked between Zuko and I.

"Zyanya what are you doing here?!" I asked, conscious of keeping my voice down in case any of Zuko's guards could hear.

"I have a note from Elder Itzel and followed you from the Inner Chamber."

I sighed, "This isn't what it looks like," I said, holding my hand out for the note.

Zyanya flitted her eyes between us again, holding up the note "...Right..."

I took it from her and quickly unfolded it.

You're welcome for getting you an excuse to leave the city, but I'm not sure if it's exactly the amount of time you were hoping for, or even under the circumstances, but it's the best I could do, just glad all the Elders were on board. Also, I hope Zyanya's not too annoying, I think she has a crush on you but I did swear her into secrecy of course. And maybe taking her to the Fire Nation Capital won't be the worst thing in the world. There weren't many volunteers for the position.

Anyway, talk to you soon,

Itzel

I quickly burned the note with a small flame and looked up to my new handmaiden.

"The Fire Lord and I have some very important things to discuss about the rebuild, Zyanya, I would appreciate it if you keep all this to yourself," I said.

"Of course my Priestess," she bowed, "I wouldn't dream of betraying you. Please let me know if there's anything I can do for you," she looked up at me, "anything."

I nodded, taking her shoulders and turning her towards the trap door, "I'll be sure to keep that in mind, just uh, make sure no one sees you on your way out, wouldn't want someone to get the wrong idea."

"Yes of course my Priestess," she said, giving me one more bow before stepping up on the ledge against the wall and pulling herself onto my roof. I secured the trap door closed behind her and sighed, taking a seat on my bed.

"Well that was, soemthing..." Zuko said, offering me a smile.

"She's good I'll give her that, I had no idea I was followed."

"She certainly seems... devoted," Zuko offered.

I looked over to him and scoffed, "Yeah well that's just because she has a crush on me."

Zuko's eyes widened, "But, she's- you're- you're both girls?"

"Oh, yeah, I didn't think that was much of something that goes on in the Fire Nation," I said.

"So, she's a girl, and she has a crush on you, and you're a girl..."

"Yeah, we have several same-sex couples in Mokuxa, for example, Elder Akna is married to a woman, and one of our warriors Ajeno is married to a man. I'm guessing that's not the traditional way of things in the Fire Nation but it is here."

Zuko nodded thoughtfully. After a moment he turned to me, "And do you...?"

"Like girls?" I filled in.

Zuko nodded.

"No, I don't. Itzel and I kissed one time when we were both young, and I know she likes boy and girls but I uh, prefer, um, the opposite sex..."

Ugh why do I sound so awkward?

"Oh, cool..." Zuko said, glancing away.

"Well, anyway, do you want to turn in for the night?" I asked, pulling an extra blanket from the trunk on the end of my bed and laying it out on the other side of the room, all in an effort to hide my blush.

"Oh, um, sure, but Nix I'll sleep on the floor," he said, putting the book down and standing.

I sat on the blanket and started taking off my armor pieces, "Don't be ridiculous, this is my house, my rules, if I say you sleep on the bed then you sleep on the bed."

Zuko looked over to my bed then back to me before putting his hands up in mock surrender, "Ok but next time the situation comes up we're switching."

"Fine by me," I shrugged.

I pulled the blanket over me and dimmed the fire in the banisters. 

I could hear Zuko breathing on the other side of the room, somehow much louder than the previous night. But I did eventually get to sleep.

I was up at dawn, like always, and Zuko was still asleep. I grabbed my things and folded the blanket, laying it on my trunk. 

I unhooked the trapdoor and let it swing open. Before I boosted myself out I took a look at Zuko. His breathing was slow, and his face was calm. He looked so incredibly peaceful. I let myself be a creep for just a moment longer before taking a deep breath and boosting myself onto my roof, pulling up and closing the trapdoor behind me.

The rest of the morning went by smoothly, and we had all the necessary documents drafted and signed by midday. 

"Are you headed out today?" Itzel asked, coming up next to me as I sat on the steps of the temple.

"Probably, I think we all want to get things moving as soon as possible. Also, Zyanya is quite something."

"Oh? How so?" Itzel asked with a smile.

I sighed, "Ok to explain it I have to tell you somehting but I swear it isn't what it sounds like."

"Ok," she said, her smile growing wider.

I swatted at her shoulder, "Listen, on the first night we were here, you know I had the Fire Lord staying in my house since there wasn't really another option,"

Itzel nodded.

"And I was going to spend the night on the temple roof like old times, but Zuko found one of my old journals and followed me up there, then after some annoying discussion he insisted on joining me on the roof."

"Mmh hm."

"Stop smiling Itzel," I said covering my face with my hands.

"Sorry, sorry, go on," she said.

"Well, so we just hung out, kind of like camping , on the roof, you know, and it was fine, and then he may have convinced me to join him in my house last night,"

"Okayy."

"And so we just took opposite side of the room, of course, but Zyanya followed my as I snuck in and saw us just sitting there, we were discussing when Iroh of the Fire Nation visited to meet the Masters, but anyway, you can see why I'm slightly concerned about her."

"Oh she's harmless," Itzel said, "she wouldn't tell, besides there isn't really much to tell about."

"I know, I'm just kind of concerned." 

"Well don't be, I'm sure she'll behave in the Fire Nation Capital."

"About that..." I said, "I was thinking of asking her to stay here in Mokuxa. You know how I told you about the secret journals my mother kept?"

"Yeah?"

"Well I want to ask her to stay here, with her family, and look for them for me."

"You want to go to the Fire Nation Capital without a handmaiden?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine it's not like I haven't been handling myself. Especially when we were taking down Ozai. She'll still have her job, she'll still get paid, she just won't have to live in a strange new place away from her friends and family for who knows how long."

Itzel nodded, humming in agreement, "If it's what you want."

"It is, besides it's kind of uncomfortable knowing she has a crush on me when she's almost three years younger than me... she's like a kid."

Itzel chuckled, "Yeah she'll grow out of that soon enough."

"Ok well she can feel free to do that in Mokuxa."

"Fair enough, oh speaking of crushes," Itzel said, nodding.

I followed her gaze to see Zuko walking towards us. I rolled my eyes and nudged her before standing.

"High Priestess, my advisors and I were hoping you could join us this evening on our way back to the Fire Nation Capital."

"Of course, the sooner we start work the better," I said.

"Great! We're just getting the affairs of the ship in order to head back, we should be ready by sun down."

"Perfect, I'll see you then," I said, bowing to him.

He returned the gesture and lead his advisors away.

It was a simple thing for me to pack a few of my things and get them loaded, with Itzel's help, of course. Before I realized it I was boarding the ship, and we were headed from Mokuxa's docks and back to the Fire Nation.

The sun lay against the horizon, tucking below the sea. The breeze was salty and the lingering smell of vanilla on my clothes was taken away.

"Are you sad to be leaving so soon?" Zuko asked, walking up next to me.

"I'm not sure," I said, "on the one hand, I missed my people, my city, and seeing them again was so nice... but on the other hand I think I'm happy to be going down the path I am. Don't get me wrong, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for my people, but there is so much more of the world I want to see. I know it's selfish but I'm glad to have this time away."

"I don't think it's selfish, Nix... honestly I know exactly how you feel. I'm happy to be back in the Fire Nation, and to be making real change, but the palace still reminds me other my father and my sister and... my mother. It's hard to be there sometimes and honestly I think part of my enthusiasm about helping Mokuxa is that it's a nice distraction."

"Aren't we the stellar pair," I said.

Zuko chuckled, "Maybe we'll figure it out before anyone notices."

"Your confidence is inspiring," I joked, looking down into the streams of water left by the ship.

"Well, I'm off to bed," he said after a moment "we should be back home-er, to the Capital by morning," Zuko stepped back from the railing.

"Thanks, I'll see you tomorrow," I said, turning to him.

"Good night, Phoenix," he smiled.

"Night Boxito."


	8. Chapter 7

"Priestess, there's been an attempt on the Fire Lord's life!" Came Itzel's voice through the fog of my dream.

I felt myself being shaken awake and I opened my eyes to my former handmaiden, her face clouded with worry.

"Itzel, what's going on? There's been a what?" ice flooded my body as I processed what she'd said, throwing myself out of bed and securing a robe around me before following Itzel through the hallway and around the corner to Zuko's quarters.

Down the hallway I spotted them, Zuko looked disheveled and even more gaunt in the darkness of night than he usually did, which is saying something these days. There was a girl in dark clothes with her hands secured behind her back by a few guards who looked completely out of breath.

As I grew closer Zuko saw me, his expression of fury melting just a little bit.

"Zuko," I said, close enough now, "what's going on?"

"This girl is from Yu Dao, the mayor's daughter. She tried to assassinate me."

I turned to her to try to get a good look, she was quite young, and very pretty, but there was a fire in her eyes. Determination.

"Take her away, I'll be returning her to her family tomorrow," Zuko said.

At his word, the guards led her from the palace, probably to a holding cell.

"You're going to Yu Dao tomorrow then?" I asked, turning to him.

"Yes. I have to make an example of her, that rebellion will not be tolerated. These colonizers need to be taught that their very presence is oppression to the people of the Earth Kingdom."

"Boxito," I said gently, he was clearly worked up and clearly exhausted.

He looked up at me, his expression had gone dark again.

"You know I agree with you and you always have my support, but maybe you should take her home and speak with her father, see if an understanding can't be reached."

He sighed with a nod, "You're right."

I pulled him into a hug and brought my hand up to his head, guiding it to rest on my shoulder.

"Get some sleep ok? A clear and rested head is the only thing that can help you make the best decisions tomorrow."

He took a deep breath against my neck and it sent shivers down my spine. I tried to ignore the feeling in my stomach and pulled away from him, nodding to his bedroom door.

He gave me a sad smile and left the hallway. Once he had I turned around I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. 

Itzel had hung back but she caught my eye and smiled.

"Not a word Itzel," I said trudging back to bed. I didn't need her relentless teasing again.

I awoke the next morning, at dawn as usual and sat up in bed, glancing to my gorget against the mirror. I haven't been wearing it lately.

Sometimes it's easier to just throw on a Fire Nation robe and get to work. It certainly gets me fewer looks. But with Itzel and Zyanya in town to visit, I felt I had to wear it again.

So I slipped it on and clipped it in the back, sliding on my bangles to follow.

A year. 

A full year since the rebuild efforts began in Mokuxa. We quickly outgrew the original plans. Once development started the city's capacity grew larger than any of us could have projected, and new people have been moving in for months.

The island itself is big, and the mountains are dense enough that with some help from Earth Bending, mountain terraces were easy to initialize. And we struck gold within the mountains, we all knew there was some there as it's been integral to our culture, but there have been huge gold veins unearthed that have been growing Mokuxa's wealth exponentially. 

With a bigger population new laws were needing to be passed on the daily and I found myself constantly answering letters and signing off on legislation from the Fire Nation Capital. 

Zuko's been roped into dealing with Sun Warrior issues from time to time but I try to keep him out of it. Not that I don't want his input, but his own Nation has been quite a lot to handle lately, and now with this assassination attempt? 

And beyond my duties as Priestess, there was my research. The Fire Sages were happy to help bring me scrolls and tablet etchings from the... Catacombs, I still wasn't comfortable with returning there, not after what happened last time.

My visits to Azula were informational, to say the least. There had been legends in some of the writings about purple fire, and how it could make a madman sane again, which confirmed my suspicions for its abilities, but there was something more to it than that. 

Every session I had with her she doesn't seem to improve much, but looking back at her behavior logs it does seem to be helping over time.

We were worried about what a 2 week-long absence would do, as she would miss 2 sessions with the purple fire while I was in Mokuxa, but Zuko and I agreed that it would just need to happen and Azula has all the time in the world in her facility for her to get better.

Hopefully, the dragons will have some kind of guidance for me, tell me what I'm doing wrong...

There was a soft knock on my door.

I stepped away from the mirror, "Come in," I said.

Itzel and Zyanya walked in, closing the door behind them.

"Priestess," Zyanya bowed.

"Hey Itzel, Zyanya," I said, nodding to them both.

"Zuko's already left, he woke up early this morning and headed out with the Yu Dao girl. I heard from a guard that he didn't sleep at all," Itzel said.

"That seems to be a running theme with him lately."

"Will his Lordship be back in time to visit Mokuxa with you Priestess?"

"He should be, I don't expect him to take longer than a day in Yu Dao, and even so we're not leaving for another week. And Zyanya, you can call us by our names," I said with a smile, heading from my room.

"With all due respect my lady, I'm happy to not," she said, following closely behind.

I shared a look with Itzel who said with a smile; "She'll grow out of it."

* * *

"Zuko!" I said, running up to him and giving him a hug, "How are you, how was Yu Dao? You were gone longer than I expected, I was worried" I said as he tightened his arms around me.

"You were worried?" I could hear the smile enter his tone.

"Don't read into it," I said with a laugh.

After a moment he sighed and pulled away, "Well the mob is gone, for now at least, but the Fire Nation citizens are safe."

"That's great, but what all happened?"

"Well, I'm starting to have second thoughts about the Harmony Restoration Project..."

I gave him a bewildered look.

"I know, I know," he said, placing his hands on my shoulders, "but you should have seen it, Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom citizens living together in peace. I know that it started out as oppressive for the Earth Kingdom residents, but the city has grown. The mayor's wife is an earthbender, their daughter is an earthbender. Yu Dao was the first colony, but I think it's so much more than that now. It's its own city, and I have to respect the lives of the Fire Nation residents who live there, my people."

I thought for a moment. This seemed like an extraneous case, but is it the right thing to do. Eventually, I nodded slowly, "Did you explain that to Aang and them? I can't imagine they'd be thrilled about this."

"I tried to, but I don't know if I got through to them."

I nodded again, holding onto one of his arms which was still outstretched, balanced on my shoulder.

"Well, I know that you've been having trouble sleeping-"

"What? How?"

"Please, Zuko, we're best friends give me some credit. It's pretty obvious and you're not great at hiding it."

He sighed, "Ok."

"So, while you were gone I sent for a friend, well a couple of friends that is," I said, turning as the Kyoshi Warriors entered the hall, "Figured they'd be a little more effective than your guards, hopefully, it'd ease your conscious enough to sleep at the very least."

"Thank you," he said, before nodding to the girls.

"You're welcome boxito, and I've been thinking," I said, dismissing the Warriors, "Do you want me to stay and help you with this situation in Yu Dao? It seems a little more pressing than our trip to Mokuxa."

"No! No of course not, you deserve the break, and to see your people again, I feel like you've been stuck here for the past year, I can handle this. Besides Itzel came all this way to accompany you."

"Are you sure? I really don't mind, Zuko, if you need me I'm here for you, and you're still welcome to come with me-us if you change your mind."

"I'm sure."

"Ok, and if anything happens, you let me know and I'll be there in a heartbeat, Mokuxa isn't far from Yu Dao, I could be there in half a day."

"Ok, I will," he said, pulling me into another hug.

"And if I don't see you again before I leave in the morning," I said, giving him a kiss on the cheek, "be careful, I'm not afraid to come and beat you up if you do something stupid."

He smiled, "I'll head your warning with a heavy heart."

I went to pull away but his arms remained firm around me.

"You be careful too," he whispered.

* * *

I'd told Zuko that any ship would be fine, but he insisted that I take one from his personal fleet across the sea to Mokuxa. The vessel was huge, far too big for just me, Itzel, and Zyanya to travel and far too many soldiers than I thought was necessary, but I can't really argue with Zuko about these things. 

The ship's size did certainly add something to its speed, and we arrived at the shores of Mokuxa much faster than I thought we would.

The city came into view, rising into the sky on the sides of tall mountains, my mountains. It was glittering with metallic accents on top of the traditional Sun Warrior stone architecture. I looked along the coastline to the sprawling tendrils of civilization, nearly surrounding the entire visible landmass.

"Welcome home, Phoenix," Itzel said, giving me a smile, which I returned.

"We'll stay at dock so let us know if there's anything you need, Princess," one of the ship hands said. As soon as the word 'princess' left his mouth he froze, realizing his mistake. 

For a brief moment, I thought of Azula. Had she commanded this ship? 

I laughed to try and dispel the awkwardness in the air as the Captain not-so-subtly hit the ship hand over the back of the head.

"So sorry, High Priestess, please don't mind Kazi's mispeech."

"It's ok, I understand," I said, making eye contact with Itzel and stepping across to the dock, followed by my Zuko-issued guards.

I couldn't believe how much the city had changed, sure I'd seen diagrams and maps but in just one year the city had grown to a size comparable to the Fire Nation Capital, and there was still more being built.

"What used to be all of Mokuxa is now just downtown," Itzel said fondly, pointing out some of the converted buildings, "And don't worry, all of the important buildings really have just been restored to their former glory, I made sure it stayed that way."

"Thank you, Itzel, the city looks magnificent."

"Come on, there are some people who want to see you," she said. 

* * *

"How long are you with us Priestess?" Elder Akna asked.

"Just 2 weeks I'm afraid, I have some things waiting for me in the Fire Nation Capital."

"Regent Itzel tells us that you and the Fire Lord have grown quite close," Rosa said, leaning in and lowering her voice.

I looked out across the circle of women all seated in my renovated home and made eye contact with Itzel.

"Did she now," I said narrowing my eyes at her.

"Don't be hard on her, we don't get to hear much about your personal life with you so far away," Chaya said.

"Speaking of," Zyanya spoke up from the back of the room, "Priestess I located the secret journals of your previous life cycle," she said hurriedly rising and leaving the room (still can't believe my house has more than one room now).

"Really?" I turned to Itzel, "You found them?"

"Just a couple weeks ago, we wanted to surprise you when you came. They were protected by a pretty nasty stink trap underneath a loose stone in the observatory basement. We had to bathe Zyanya in tomato juice for hours."

I laughed as the handmaiden in question returned with a stack of journals bound by twine.

"Speaking of, have you been keeping up with your journals, Priestess? We want to make sure the next Phoenix has all the details about your exciting adventures!" Rosa said.

"Oh of course! They make the loveliest journals in the Fire Nation," I said reassuringly to the women in the room, making brief eye contact with Itzel. She was the only one in Mokuxa who knew of my audience with the Sun Spirit Xie. And for right now at least, it needed to stay that way.

I accepted the stack of old books from Zyanya gratefully, there was still dust in between the crevices of the pages.

I ran my thumb along the spine of the top book. The craftsmanship was impeccable of course, and the edges of the books were worn down from use.

The chattering in the room died down and I looked up to see Itzel on her feet, followed closely by Akna and her wife.

"We'll leave you with your writings Priestess," Elder Akna said, motioning for the rest of the women to follow her out.

I thanked them for their company and once I was alone I walked into my bedroom, taking a seat at the writing desk.

I slipped the first journal from its tether and opened it, reading the date on the inside of the cover.

This is from when she was in her early 20s.

I always appreciated my mother's handwriting, but these letters seemed to flow more beautifully than the others, as if she took special care with the tales she recounted in these three books than all of the others she had written.

I got about a page and a half in before I read something that sent a chill down my spine.

"- He told me that he didn't want us to get in trouble but I told him that it would be kind of hard since I am the High Priestess after all. I won't let customs and tradition get in the way of my love for Cienega."

I closed the journal immediately and stumbled onto my bed, laying down.

I feel like I'm going to be sick.

Is that why Cienega was so mad about my decision to open up the city? Because he was in love with my mother and thinks I'm too different from her?

Oh gross. Ugh. This is why I hate it when people refer to me as the previous Phoenixes. I mean I get it because it's technically true, but it's also so not.

Dragons, Itzel is going to have a field day when she finds out. 

Unable to force myself to read another word I instead got ready for bed, letting my mind wander to a certain Fire Nation boy and what might have happened the last time we were in Mokuxa together.

Sometimes fantasizing about him makes me feel guilty but the distraction from my mother's questionable taste in men was certainly welcomed this time.

The next couple of days were a lot more fast-paced than my first night back and I hardly found myself with the time to read more of my mother's secret journals, if I even had the stomach for it at the end of the day.

But the city looked amazing, and I had a (Zuko-appointed of course) Fire Nation scribe following me around everywhere, taking every note I dictated which was nice, certainly helped keep my thoughts in order.

Speaking with people and going about the city just made me wish Zuko was here to see it all, he certainly deserves some of the credit for helping get Mokuxa on its feet, and I so badly wanted him to see something he was doing was going well.

* * *

"It's been a week and I haven't heard anything from him," I said, poking at my avocado.

"Well maybe he took care of the situation then headed back to the Fire Nation Capital and is getting ready to meet you here," Itzel offered.

"Yeah but you think he would have sent a letter or something, I just... I don't know, normally we're pretty good about communicating matters of state."

"Is this a matter of state? What about just as friends?"

I sighed, "I mean, I guess we've been kind of distant lately, though I'm not sure what-"

I was cut off by a tapping sound.

Itzel and I turned to the window in the kitchen and she popped it open, a messenger hawk swooped in and landed in front of me.

"Wow speaking of," Itzel commented.

"Finally," I said, putting my bowl down and sliding the scroll from the bird's container, starting to read.

A few moments later Itzel spoke up, 'What does it say?"

I held up my hand, having to reread it to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me.

"Phoenix," Itzel prompted.

I handed the letter to her and stood, "I cannot believe this. Of all the idiotic and mindless things to do he's going to go to war?! And then there's everything with his father and I- Ugh!"

"Phoenix calm down, you're gonna burn the house down," Itzel said following me to my feet.

I looked around to the banisters in the room which were rising incredibly high. I took a deep breath to let them return to normal.

"Ok, send a letter back to Suki letter her know you're on your way, then you can leave, I'll let the Elders know in the morning, it will all be ok,"

I hit my fist against my forehead in frustration, "When I get my hands on him, I swear,"

"I'll get you some paper," Itzel said, nodding for me to sit back down.

I wrote the letter and sent the hawk off quickly, getting my things together to head to Yu Dao. I'm just glad I had the foresight to bring along my eel hound, Bahlam (which I of course named after the jaguar dogs that live in the mountains around Mokuxa).

I was out in the water headed to Yu Dao before my Fire Nation guards even noticed I'd left my house.

It was nearly dawn when I arrived to the city, but as soon as I hit the western shore, Suki's messenger hawk swooped down and landed on Bahlam's head, which is something I'm sure he isn't happy about.

I took the scroll out and read it through, Suki detailed the events of the battle for me, and the outcome, then she tacked on a bit of news that exhausted me just by reading it; Zuko had gone to Ba Sing Se with Aang.

Great. Now I have to go all the way to Ba Sing Se. I pulled out my map.

I guess I can take the north side and bypass the Serpent's Pass... Well, now I wish I wasn't on a time crunch and could enjoy the scenery as I go through.

* * *

I've never traveled completely alone before, and I didn't foresee a lot the issues that arose. For one, the Earth Kingdom knew a lot more about me than I thought they did. I guess Mokuxa has garnered a reputation for itself in the short time it's been on the rise.

It was weird to come into a town and for people to recognize me.

And somewhere in the lower ring of Ba Sing Se I almost got mugged! Which was pretty exciting, it let me brush up on my fighting without bending.

I knew things were still a little precocious in the Earth Kingdom about Fire Bending so I didn't think it'd be a good idea to demonstrate it.

Then finally we reached the Jasmine Dragon. I jumped off of Bahlam (who was completely exhausted at this point), and ran through the darkness of the evening into the tea shop.

I pushed the doors open and frowned, searching the near-empty room. Zuko was sitting at a table across from Aang, they were drinking tea with Iroh.

"Nix!" Zuko jumped in his seat, clearly startled to see me.

"Why didn't you write to me?!" I demanded the emotions that had been festering in me for the past several days boiling over.

"I-"

"I would have been there in half a day! The whole mess could have been avoided without an armed military conflict." I took a step towards him, noting the awkward look on Aang's face, "But you didn't even bother to let me know what was going on? After all this time I have supported you, not just as a friend, but as the High Priestess of a sovereign people, and you can't even give me the courtesy of an update?!"

"I know," he said simply, looking down.

"I'll just..." Aang said, pointing to the back of the shop where Iroh was.

I turned my glare to him and he scurried off.

"Ugh, I'm gone for two weeks and you almost go to war with the Earth Kingdom."

"I know, I know," he stood and walked over to me, placing his hands on my shoulders. I shrugged away from his touch. I needed to think.

"Listen, I know you're mad, but I was right, and you know I was," he said, exasperated.

"Yes I know you were right, but that's not all this is about," I said, jabbing a finger to his chest, "You don't trust me, and if you don't trust me, then why am I even here?"

"Don't trust you?! You're my best friend there isn't anyone I trust more!"

"Then why did I have to hear about your little meetings with the genocidal maniac we call your father, from Suki via letter?! You promised me that you wouldn't sneak away and speak with him again last year."

"Nix... I..."

He was silent for just a moment before he exploded, the fire in the lanterns around the room rising, "Because I'm terrified, and I'm stressed and anxious, I can hardly ever sleep. I'm having nightmares of dying and seeing my mother and reliving my biggest mistakes. Everything I do I feel like I'm either being a bad Fire Lord or turning into my father, and I can't breathe. I've been out of it for days, there's so much constant pressure and expectation and I can't keep up, no matter what I do I'm disappointing somebody, betraying somebody. And I don't talk to you about because I'm constantly worried that one of these days..." his voice grew quiet, like he didn't want anyone in the other room to hear, "you'll realize you're wasting your time and you'll leave me, and I'm desperate to not let you slip away. I'm afraid that if you see who I am, how broken I really am that you'll go back to Mokuxa for good and I'll be alone."

My heart pounded in my chest, "Zuko-"

"And now I'm ruining everything aren't I?" his voice was even softer now.

I sighed, taking his hand, "Let's get some fresh air."

We walked out of the shop and down the street, passing by a small pavilion with a fountain. I sat on the stone edge and he sat next to me, no one in sight. The water was calm.

"I'm sorry I blew up at you," I said, looking down at our still intertwined fingers.

"I'm sorry I blew up at you too, my anger gets away from me sometimes. You didn't deserve to be the one on the receiving end."

"No, it's ok. You just have to communicate with me, I care about you, but I won't know how to help if you don't tell me."

"I know." Zuko looked into the water, "Thank you for understanding, I don't know where I'd be without you."

I took a deep breath, the weather was nice, warm with just a little breeze to ruffle its way across the dark pavilion. The tiny suns above us tinkling silently.

"How are you? Suki mentioned you almost died, are you ok?"

"I'm fine," he said glancing away, "Just needed to sleep it off I guess."

"Zuko, what else has been eating at you? I know there's something more beyond all the Fire Lord stuff... you mentioned your mother..."

He sighed after a moment, "I need to find her."

I nodded, "Ok, then let's start there. It won't solve all your problems, but I think the closure will help, no matter what we find."

"We?" he asked, looking up at me.

"Yes, but things are going to have to change between us," I said, my heart pounding at the words on my tongue. Was I really doing this? After this whole mess that we went through? Maybe I shouldn't say more, my emotions are just as raw as his right now...

He pulled his hand away, solemn, "Right, of course."

I instinctively reached for his hand again, "If we're going to..." what am I saying? "be together, you need to respect me and trust me."

His eyes flashed back to mine, "Together?"

"Um- well..." I looked away, "earlier in the shop, you were saying all those things- I- I probably just-"

He cut me off with a kiss. His hand squeezed mine and his other hand rested itself on my thigh, the touch causing my stomach to twist itself around.

He pulled away after a moment and I leaned back in, not really sure what I was doing but my heart was pounding and this felt right.

His tongue touched my bottom lip and I pulled away in surprise.

"Sorry I-"

"No, no, sorry," I tried to give him an apologetic smile, "I was just surprised, I've never, um..."

"Right, right, of course, sorry,"

"Don't be sorry!" I said far too quickly, "It's just, you know... not really something a Priestess is supposed to do... not that I didn't want to," I said quickly, spotting his expression. "Sorry, I'm awful at this."

"You're not awful... it's actually kind of sweet," he said, placing his hand on my cheek, "Nix, I've felt this way about you for a long time, and I just want you to know that I won't let anything ruin this for us. Including myself."

I leaned forward, our foreheads pressed together, "I trust you," I murmured, lifting a hand to rest against his chest, his lips getting closer and closer until we kissed again.

"I knew it!" came a voice from across the courtyard.

We jumped apart to see Aang by the street, who looked just as surprised as we did that he'd shouted out.

My face started burning and I stood, not sure what I should be doing in this situation. Zuko followed me to a standing position and walked over to Aang. I trailed behind.

Zuko said something to Aang that I didn't quite catch and then turned back to me, offering his arm. I took it and we walked back to the shop.

"What did you say to him?" I whispered to Zuko.

"Just making sure your honor is intact until we can talk more," he said smoothly.

I chuckled and we entered Iroh's shop.

* * *

"Zuko," I said, pushing him away from me playfully, "I thought you wanted to talk."

"I mean," he shrugged, "We are using our mouths..." he leaned in with a smirk.

I gave him a small peck, unable to contain a smile, and pulled back, "Zuko..."

"Ok, ok," he relented, "should we talk about the important stuff first?"

"Probably," I said, turning against the back of the chaise to face him better.

We were in his sitting room, which I've been in several times before. It makes for a good place to hang out without the ear of the guards when we need to discuss things. But to be here with him... like this, where I could touch him, kiss him... It all felt so new and dangerous.

"So I've been thinking, and I decided I want to talk to Azula about finding my mother."

"Oh?" I asked, unsure where he was going with this.

"I can't get Ozai to talk, but I think she can. If we can convince her to help us, maybe offer her something in return, then I can finally find answers."

"Offer her something? That seems a little... reckless."

"Maybe," he looked into my eyes, "but I'm willing to do anything at this point."

"Ok," I said, nodding," but since I've been gone from the city so much recently, she's been missing her treatments, there's no saying what her mental state will be like right now, she could lash out, or have an episode."

"Well it's a good thing I have you then," he said, leaning closer.

"Speaking of us..." I said, maintaining distance between us for the sake of keeping my mind clear, "What exactly are we?"

"Phoenix..." he took my hand and glanced down to our fingers, effectively avoiding eye contact, "will you be my girlfriend?"

My heart beat and I smiled, "Well, yeah."


	9. Chapter 8

I was certainly more than glad to be in Yu Dao to help with the decision making, especially when it meant I got to see Katara again, who had no shortage of things to talk about and adventures to share. 

Zuko and I had decided to try to not make a big deal about our very new relationship (thankfully of which all our friends were supportive of) and I was glad to have the break from the questions from the press to listen to political theory.

I glanced down at my notes again, checking my spelling, and wondered if I could flag down the professor after the lecture and ask a few questions that might help with the situation Mokuxa... What with me ending the rebirth cycle of the Phoenix leaving my people with no successive leader...

There was some heavy whispering to my left and I glanced over to see Sokka's face covered in snow accompanied by Katara's disapproving glare. I had to force myself to hold back a smile.

Moments later Zuko rose his hand a few chairs down, "Professor, can you repeat that last part?"

The old man sighed "A teenager is a teenager apparently, even if he is a head of state," he turned around to face my boyfriend, "I was explaining, Fire Lord Zuko, an ancient Earth Kingdom Philosophy: Family is in essence a small nation and the nation a large family. Do you understand? In treating his own family with dignity, a ruler learns to govern his nation with dignity."

I bristled at the condescension in his tone and glanced over to Zuko, who looked like he had seen a ghost, and I honestly couldn't blame him. 

The professor continued on but I couldn't take my eyes off Zuko who looked downcast to the paper in front of him, Aang leaning over to say something, hopefully, to make sure he was ok.

I made a mental note to talk to him about it later before I heard more whispering followed by the subtle slap of Sokka being hit with snow again.

I looked back down to my notes and kept writing. Maybe some kind of elected leader would be good for Mokuxa? As much as I want to keep my position governing the people, maybe my personal dreams and desires are too misaligned with those of the Sun Warriors as a whole. Or maybe I should just suck it up and do my duty, return to Mokuxa soon full time and break up with Zuko... who am I kidding I can't date some guy I'm the Phoenix.

Have I told anyone besides Itzel about our relationship? Of course not. How would they even take it? As much as my mother dreamed of being with the person she loved, she couldn't...

But then again maybe the way things have always been done isn't necessarily the best way. Maybe a more formalized structure of what we have now would be best for Mokuxa. Like a partnership between the regent and the Priestess, we would keep each other in balance.

As I was writing this thought down I realized that people were rising from their seats; the lecture had ended. 

My thoughts of asking follow up questions dissipated as I felt a hand on my arm, and with a look saw Zuko standing next to me, "Since we're taking a break can I pull you aside to talk?"

"Of course," I said standing, "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah," he said nodding towards the hallway.

I shared a glance with Katara as Zuko pulled me after him. 

Out in the hallway, in an alcove where we couldn't be overheard, I said, "So what did you want to talk about?"

"Well I've been thinking more about my sister, and maybe we shouldn't restrain her-"

I gave him a look.

"-as much..."

"Zuko, do you not remember what happened last time she wasn't restrained? You almost died. I'm not going to take that chance ever again."

"Well, she's been getting her treatments- for the most part, and we do know there is marked improvement. Besides, she's my family whether I like it or not, and I have to treat her with respect, otherwise, what does that say about me..."

I thought about my words for a moment, "Well, I don't know what you're feeling, and I never could, Itzel and books are the closest things I've ever had to family, and I can't imagine how everything is weighing on you, so if you really think this is the best way to go about it," I took a deep breath, "then we can try it, but if she lashes out at all..."

"I know, and I agree if anyone is in danger then we need a new approach."

"Ok then, but let's start small, and not right away."

"Ok," he smiled, "thank you."

I smiled back, "You're welcome of course, though you don't exactly need my permission."

"Oh, I don't know about that," he said, resting his hands on my waist.

I glanced around to the hallway, "Zuko we aren't exactly in private," I said, nodding to the several officials milling about.

"They're not paying attention," he said, leaning in to give my cheek a peck.

I looked back at him, his grin tinged with mischief and his eyes bright. He looks so much better than he did a week ago.

I gave him a quick kiss before pulling him back towards the lecture hall.

* * *

Zuko wanted to try letting Azula back into her old room in the palace, and I wasn't entirely against it, but definitely hesitant, especially since he didn't want me to join him to escort her. But she was his sister so there wasn't much I could say otherwise. Besides, I think Zuko needs this.

I had only just started going through the stack of complaints from Mokuxa when I heard a huge crashing noise coming from a few hallways over. I was out of my room in seconds. The guards outside my door looked as confused as I did but I brushed around them following the noise as they trailed behind me. 

I swear if Zuko let her out of her restraints now even though we agreed against it I'll- ugh I don't even know, but wouldn't the Kyoshi warriors have chi blocked her? Unless Zuko didn't even let them help him escort her back to the palace.

And now what if he's hurt and I don't get to him in time?

I rounded a corner and saw a gaping hole in the wall with a terrified guard on the floor. He pointed towards his right and I ran down the hallway, stopping when I heard voices.

It seemed to be a secret room and inside stood the two siblings I'd been looking for, not fighting, not even yelling, just them having a staring contest, and while there was no actual lightning in the room, I felt if I took another step I may just be electrocuted.

"Oh look, seems we have an audience, so what do you say ZuZu? Let me help you find mom, without the straight jacket and I'll tell you anything you want to know."

I held my breath, my mind going a million miles a minute trying to think of every outcome to this precarious situation.

Zuko glanced back at me with a small kind of panic in his eyes. I wasn't sure what I could offer him and stared back blankly.

He eventually returned his gaze to his sister, "Ok, deal."

Azula grinned.

* * *

"You look quite sharp, Fire Lord, as always," I said, placing my hands on Zuko's chest and feeling his hands rest on my waist. The sensation particularly warming as I wore my Sun Warrior clothes, leaving my midriff exposed. 

"Thank you, Nix, but you look even better, and I can't help but notice you're wearing your Sun Warrior garb again," he leaned in dangerously close.

"Yeah, I've been feeling a little out of touch with Mokuxa lately, and thought dressing traditionally would help with that."

He rested his forehead against mine and I slid my hands up to hold his face, letting my fingers brush against the edge of his scar.

Zuko took a deep breath and fluttered his eyes closed.

"How are you Boxito?" I asked quietly.

"I'm better. More hopeful."

"Hope is good."

He hummed and moved his hands to my back, rubbing warm circles into my skin.

I gave him a chaste kiss and pulled him closer, nestling my head in his shoulders and wrapping my arms around as much of him as I could.

"Everything will be alright, you have all the support from us and your Uncle will be here to watch over things, you have nothing to worry about."

He sighed against my neck, causing my skin to erupt in goosebumps, "I just hope I find answers."

"You will."

"What a touching moment. Gotten over Mai so soon Zuzu?" came Azula's voice from the other side of the room. Something sharp suddenly poked around my gut and I suppressed the feeling.

I pulled away from Zuko slightly and looked to Azula who was standing with her hip cocked to the side and her arms crossed, Suki and Ty Lee right behind her watching carefully.

I was surprised. Sure I know she was mean and rude before her breakdown, but every time I've done treatments with her she's been more or less incoherent, it was honestly kind of encouraging to see her almost normal, almost.

"Azula please, be civil," Zuko chastised.

"You're looking well today, Azula," I said.

She looked away and scoffed, "Not like you care."

I shared a sad smile with Zuko just as Iroh came in with tea.

"I've been trying this new blend at my shop and my customers seem to love it," Iroh said, easing the tension he somehow picked up on.

We all gladly took a cup and sipped, Azula keeping her distance with a mild look of distaste. 

"It's great Iroh, what's the blend?" Suki asked.

"Peach flower and oolong, with just a touch of jasmine."

"Well I agree, it's lovely," I said, taking another sip as we heard voices in the hallway.

Iroh smiled and slipped back out of the room to investigate. Seconds later the curtain opened and Iroh called, "Zuko, Phoenix, your friends have arrived!"

Zuko gave me a smile and led the way from the room. 

I glanced back to make eye contact with Suki and Ty Lee, to make sure they had an eye on Azula. They both gave me a nod and I followed out.

"Thank you for inviting us to your home your fieriness, we've been out of touch for much too long," Aang said, giving Zuko a bow.

"It's only been a week," Zuko said.

I exchanged a hug with Katara and asked, "Where's Toph?" seeing just the water tribe siblings and Katara's boyfriend.

"She had to stay at the academy," Sokka said, "Now that folks have seen the lily livers- I mean, her students in action, everyone and their mother wants to be a metalbender, even the Yu Dao chief of police went to visit her!"

"Good for her," I commented, unable to contain a smile at the thought of Toph as a teacher.

Katara nodded before continuing, "We came as soon as we received your message. What's this about?"

"I recently obtained some new information about Ursa, my mother. It turns out she's from a small town called Hira'a on the outskirts of the Fire Nation. I'm going there to look for her," Zuko said, "Uncle Iroh's agreed to watch over things while I'm gone," he gestured to his Uncle.

Iroh nodded with a smile, "May you find who- and what- you are searching for my nephew."

"That's great Zuko, but it sounds like you and Nix got everything covered..." Aang trailed off.

"So why do you need us?" Katara finished.

I cringed slightly in anticipation. 

"The information about my mother came at a cost you see..." Zuko glanced down solemnly. 

Suddenly Aang shouted, "Zuko, behind you!"

Katara pulled out some water as I turned around to, of course, find Azula lurking behind her brother.

Katara shot ice at her and shouted "How did you escape!"

"Katara wait!" Zuko shouted.

"It's not what you think!" I supplied just as Aang pulled out some airbending.

"Stay back, we don't want to hurt you!" Aang shouted.

Sokka lifted his boomerang, "Speak for yourself, Aang!"

"Guys!" I tried shouting but Azula cut me off.

"Ha, ha! Ignorant peasant! You really think you can take me on with a boomerang?"

I took a brief moment to marvel at how well Azula was keeping her cool just as Sokka yelled "Let's find out!"

"Sokka stop, let them explain!" came Suki's voice just as she burst into the room.

With Sokka properly distracted by his girlfriend, Zuko took a breath.

"Azula was the one who got the information from Ozai. Because she helped me out, we made a deal. She's going to come with me to look for our mother. And she's going to travel unbound with dignity."

Azula turned her nose up slightly.

"And we want you all to come with us," I finished, trying to reassure the look of shock on Katara's face.

"No offense, but that sounds like the worst plan ever!" Aang said.

"Oooh oooh, new nickname for Zuko! How about Bad Decision Lord?" Sokka said from the other side of the room where he was still hugging Suki.

Iroh cut in "Ever since my nephew ascended to the throne, he has yearned for peace. Finding Ursa may bring that peace- and not just for himself," Iroh looked to Azula who stood scowling at the ground.

Aang was silent for just a moment before stepping forward, "We're your friends, Zuko. If you need us, we'll go."

"Awe," Katara said quietly tilting her head with a smile, looking at Aang.

I shared a look with her as our partners exchanged a hug.

"Isn't it just?" I asked nudging her slightly. Katara and I made eye contact and we were unable to contain a laugh.

The next day came quickly and it was nice to be in traveling clothes. I've been itching to leave the palace and the misadventure to Ba Sing Se to track down the almost dead Zuko and to get Yu Dao set up had been teasing me of all the possibilities. 

But now I was back with my friends on Appa and we were off to find closure for Zuko and I was going to see so many new places and meet new people, at least people who weren't politicians...

I sat at the back of Appa's saddle, Azula sitting in between Zuko and me so we could keep an eye on her. And while I could hear the conversation, I couldn't stop myself from tuning out, watching the lush Fire Nation landscape scroll by underneath us, the hillsides dotted with forests and towns, roofs a striking red clay.

Azula spoke up next to me and my attention was drawn away.

"So tell me, kids, I've been dying to know," her tone slipped into something much more familiar, "which one of you miscreants did she approach first?"

"Azula," I warned, trying to get her attention away from Sokka, Katara, and Aang.

"None of you had even met me yet! How did she convince you to help her ruin my life?!"

"That's enough Azula!" Zuko shouted.

I threw my arm in front of her, lighting it aflame with purple fire.

She looked down at it, leaning back slightly.

"No need to bring that out, Sun Warrior, it's just small talk," Azula said, her voice returning to it's cold, yet in-control tone from earlier. 

I exchanged a look with Zuko. I had no idea what to do, her behaving even a little normally was still a new development and I had no idea how to keep her in her clear mind. Zuko offered a worried shrug.

"I wish Toph was here," Sokka said aimlessly.

From the front, Aang agreed and the saddle returned to silence. 

Azula spent the rest of the ride in general silence but I was exhausted from keeping my attention on her constantly. 

Luckily, the sky was turning orange when Zuko spoke up, "I think that's Hira'a up ahead. If we can't get there before sunset, though, we should set up camp. I don't want to enter town in the middle of the night like a gang of bandits."

I smiled.

"Good point," Sokka said, turning to the resident Airbender, "Hey Aang-"

Aang's face was contorted into some deep scowl.

"AH! What it's not enough that we have to have one passenger who stares at us with crazy eyes?!" Sokka said, temporarily losing his composure. 

"What's wrong with your face?" Katara asked.

"I don't know..." Aang lifted his hands helplessly, the dark look on his face intensifying, "But I can't help it! There's something out there... some kind of spirit. I can feel it's presence, especially in my face."

"Now that you mention it," Sokka said, pulling his face with his fingers, "I feel it too, that's why I'm doing this!"

"Sokka," Katara chided, "This is serious."

"As serious as this?" he asked, pointing to his face.

"Knock it off," Katara hissed.

"Nix, do you feel it?" Zuko asked turning to me.

I frowned, "No, I don't feel anything weird."

Aang looked over the edge of Appa's saddle, "Whoa! Did you guys see that giant wolf spirit? I think that's the presence I'm feeling!"

I looked over the edge with Zuko as Sokka yabbled on (and was quickly met with snow in the face).

"There's nothing down there," Zuko said.

"No, I see it!" I said. The spirit was huge, its ghostly body was bounding across the ground incredibly fast, faster than Appa.

Suddenly Zuko was shouting, "Azula get down from there.

I whirled around, my stomach dropping.

Azula stood on the opposite edge of the saddle, her arms spread out, "I can't tell you what a pleasure it's been riding with you all, listening to you bicker. Too bad not all siblings can get along as well as Zuzu and me! Now that Hira'a is just a hop skip and a jump away it's time to bid farewell. I'll be sure to give her your regards!"

My body didn't move fast enough as I lurched forward after her.

"No, Azula! We're too high up!" Zuko yelled, reaching after the retreating form of his sister.

I stood, flames at my fists, ready to jump until I felt a hand on mine and looked at Zuko, who nodded to Aang who was already in the air. Right, Airbender.

I knelt back down next to Zuko watching Aang race towards Azula. He had his arm around me and I could feel him holding his breath.

"Breathe," I whispered, feeling him inhale again just as there was a flash of lightning.

Aang came crashing to the ground, his glider on fire, and Azula cushioned her landing with flames seconds before Appa touched down.

I gave Zuko's hand a final squeeze before we jumped to the ground.

"Sokka, Katara, go make sure Aang's ok! We'll go after Azula!"

We sprinted after her, but she was disappearing behind the rocks every few seconds. Regardless we kept going until I heard shouting and I grabbed Zuko, pulling him back.

"Nix, what are you doing?!" He asked.

I pulled on his arm again and held a finger to my lips.

Azula was having a breakdown, talking to herself again, or someone in her head (I'm not entirely sure).

Luckily Zuko got the message and remained quiet.

He motioned for us to go around a boulder to a bend in a stream. Azula's voice seemed to be coming from upstream, so it was perfect.

"-Your most treacherous act Mother! You've turned my own mind against me!" Azula shouted just as she came into view. She shot lighting into the stream and we stepped onto the opposite bank to avoid the charge.

Water sprinkled down like rain and Azula slumped over, breathing heavily. Hopefully, she's exhausted herself out.

"Who are you talking to, Azula?" Zuko asked gently.

"Why do you care?!" Azula snapped, looking back up.

"Keep to our deal, Azula, and we'll find her together."

She rose her hands, electricity crackling between her fingers, "You need me Zuzu. I have information you don't. But now that we're so close to Hira'a I don't really need you anymore."

I watched as Zuko rose his hands, a pale flame around his palm, he was hurting, "Please... I don't want to do this."

Talking isn't going to work anymore.

With Azula distracted I shot purple flames at her, keeping the stream concentrated, focusing on reaching into her nerve endings, forcing them into the paths they once had. A temporary fix.

I walked closer to her and I heard her fall to her knees.

I let the flames subside and Azula was on the ground, a single tear silently sliding down her face.

"Azula," I said gently, holding out my hands to her.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said. Her voice was small but steeled and defiant.

She stood on her own and I took her shoulder leading her back towards Zuko and our friends which had appeared from the rocks while I was focused on Azula. Katara came over to help me and bound her hands in ice.

"Zuko, you gotta reconsider this arrangement with your sister," Sokka said, and I was about to agree with him when I noticed Aang's face, and then the loomingly large spirit emerging from the rocks as well.

It was, even more, terrifying up close, even Azula gasped.

"The wolf spirit must've left the spirit world for a good reason! So please, everybody, be respectful!"

The spirit growled and snapped at Sokka who jumped back and yelled "Respectful?! Your spirit just tried to eat my head!"

I made eye contact with Katara and she made a better ice containment for Azula which froze her completely in place with her head sticking out, to which she struggled against.

"Those markings on it's belly..." Zuko said, "they sort of look like a face..."

"Aang, that's the face you've been making!" Katara said.

"You're right!' I think I get it now!" Aang said, airbending himself onto one of the tall rocks to talk face to face with the giant wolf.

"Stop big giant wolf spirit! Listen to me! I felt your presence earlier, see? Just like the design on your fur! I knew you were near because I'm the Avatar, the great bridge between the spirits and the humans! My friends and I were traveling to the town of Hira'a when one of us-" he looked to the effectively contained Azula, "-decided to go her own way. If we've disturbed you, please accept our apologies."

The wolf watched Aang silently for a moment and I thought everything was gonna be fine until it growled and lunged at him.

We all jumped into action bending at it (or boomeranging in Sokka's case), but our attacks practically bounced off without a mark.

"Did that wolf spirit... just eat my fire?!" Zuko asked as smoke erupted from the canine's snout.

"And burped! It ate your fire and burped at you!" Sokka added.

The wolf lunged again as Aang was saying something about being the great bridge, but it was hard to hear over the snarling.

As we were getting out of the spirit's way Appa came roaring in, tackling the spirit back.

"All right! Giant spirit animal mega-brawl!" Sokka said.

The giant animals traded blows as Aang yelled, "Go easy on him, buddy, we just want peaceful passage to Hira'a!"

It certainly didn't seem like peaceful was the outcome of this encounter as Appa launched the wolf spirit across the rocks.

I've never healed a spirit before, do they even need healing? Well, this one certainly looked like it might as it crashed into pillars of stone.

Aang ran forward and we were just behind him as the wolf managed to pull itself up.

Before anything else happened, the wolf vomited glowing pink moth-wasps which pooled around the air in swarms.

"You are the grossest spirit ever!" Sokka shouted and the wolf pulled backward, to make way for the moth-wasps.

I tried running from them, only to run into another swarm so I started trying to dodge them when Aang called, "Try not to hurt them! They're spirit creatures!"

Spirit creatures or not the hundreds of little moth-wasps latching to my skin was making my want to explode with fire.

"Aang it's getting hard to breathe!" Katara yelled.

"I know, but if you but them things might get worse!"

"How could things possibly get worse?" I asked.

I shouldn't have asked as I found myself within earshot of my boyfriend and his sister.

"I'll admit it all right? I shouldn't have run off on my own like that after all, we made a deal. And if you can't trust your family then who can you trust?" Azula said.

Zuko rose his hands in a fire bending formation towards her. Is he going to...?

"Zuko what are you doing?" I asked, placing a hand on his outstretched arm.

"She's my sister, we should let her help."

"She's also potentially unstable, we can't risk it," I said, feeling another prick of a moth-wasp on my skin.

"You need my help, admit it, Sun Warrior."

"Zuko, don't," I warned.

Zuko looked between us briefly before melting the ice around Azula, setting her free.

She lept to her feet with a ball of lightning and sent it away in the distance. The moth-wasps and wolf spirit chased after it.

She turned back to the rest of us, "Your welcome."

I looked at Zuko who stood staring after the retreating spirits.

Aang said something about finding a place to set up camp and they started heading off.

Zuko stayed put which meant he wanted to talk.

But I didn't want to talk to him. You'd think he would trust his girlfriend's judgment went it came to Azula. No one understands her condition better than I do, and even then my grasp isn't great. 

I turned on my heal and followed our friends without a word, my eyes trained on Azula.

We found a flat spot by some trees and set up camp for the night, Zuko offering to take first watch.

Whatever, who am I to tell the Fire Lord what to do? If Zuko thinks he knows best about Azula then fine. I'll just hang back and watch her spiral out of control as she's done before and will again. 

The transition from the constant watch and restrainment to sudden freedom can't be the healthiest approach, and we had agreed on something gradual but then Zuko had to make his deal. 

I claimed my sleeping spot on Appa's tail and turned away from the fire where Sokka and Zuko sat. I'll wake up for my shift later...

I felt myself being shaken awake, someone's hands on my shoulders.

My eyes creaked open and adjusted to the light. Zuko was hovering over me, something clearly wrong. A quick glance at the sky told me that it was still early in the night.

I grabbed his arms, pulling myself up, "Azula, is she-"

"Asleep," Zuko said. I looked over his shoulder, and she was. Katara sat at the fire with her back to us, watching her.

My panic subsided as I pulled my hands off of him, and he pulled back likewise.

"So then, why are you here?" I asked, scooting back on Appa's tail to make room for Zuko, who then sat next to me.

He pulled a folded piece of paper from his robe, holding it out to me, his hand shaking.

I took it, unsure.

"Read it, please," Zuko's voice was small, something indiscernible in his tone.

"If this is about earlier..." I said, a feeling of quiet guilt rising in my gut, wondering if he felt like I was abandoning him.

"It's-" he put a hand on my thigh, "It's not about earlier, please,"

"Ok," I said, opening the letter.

My dearest Ikem,

It's taken me a long time to admit it, but you were right. I belong with you, and nothing is worth this pain. My one consolation is our son Zuko. When I look into his eyes, it's as if I'm looking into yours. My thoughts are with you always.

Love, Ursa

"Our son," I whispered, shock freezing my body.

When I looked up, I could see the tears in Zuko's eyes, threatening to spill.

I folded the paper up and leaned forward, slipping it back into his robe before I threw my arms around him, squeezing him to me as hard as I could.

After a moment his arms came up around me too and his body jolted with silent sobs.

We were like that for a while. When he had gotten his breath back and calmed down a little bit I pulled away from him slowly.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" I asked.

He took a deep breath and looked into the trees, "Yeah, I think I do."

I nodded and slipped off of the sky bison's tail, turning around to help Zuko up.

He left our hands intertwined and we started walking along the sparse trees. The moon was full and it's light descended through the tree branches easily, lighting the forest floor.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

"Not yet. I'm still not sure what to think."

"Ok, if you do feel ready, I'm here."

"I know, and thank you."

"Of course."

"Can we talk about what happened earlier?" he asked.

"You want to talk about earlier?" I rose an eyebrow.

"I want the distraction, and to have one less thing to worry about."

"Ok, then yeah we can talk about it."

"Because I'm sorry," he said.

"You're sorry, Zuko? I should be sorry, you're going through something really hard right now, and it wasn't fair for me to get so angry when you were just doing what you thought was right."

"But I should have listened to you, you've spent the most time with Azula and you know the most about her mental state."

"But she's your sister, and I should have respected your instincts, and they turned out to be right, she did help us, and I'm not sure what we would have done if you hadn't freed her."

"But, Nix, you were right that I can't trust her, she's the one who's been hiding the truth about my... my real father."

"Boxito..." I said, "You're still the same person you've always been, who your father is doesn't change that."

He shook his head, "I'm not worried about that, well... maybe I am," he sighed, "I don't know, but I think I'm afraid that it all makes sense, why he never treated me like he treated Azula, why it was so easy for him to burn me, to banish me..."

"But if he knew then why let you live at all?"

"He was going to kill me, my Grandfather commanded Ozai to take my life as punishment for asking for Iroh's birthright and Ozai didn't even argue, he was going to do it."

"But obviously that didn't happen, you're still here," I squeezed his hand.

"My mother must have stopped him..."

"I guess so..." I looked down at our hands, "How do you feel about it, finding out that Ozai isn't your real father?"

"I think... I think I feel hopeful. It means that I won't turn into him because he isn't my actual father, I don't have a tie to him."

"Well... if you're right, and this letter is real and isn't some fake that Azula is using to manipulate you-"

Zuko shook his head, "It isn't, this is definitely her handwriting."

"Well, either way, what does this mean for your throne? And why hasn't Azula challenged you for it, if you're not the legitimate son of Ozai?"

He sighed, "I don't know. This is all... so much to think about."

I nodded, "Do you want to go back, try to sleep on it?" I asked.

He was quiet for a moment, "That's probably the responsible thing to do, huh?"

I nodded and offered him a smile.

"Ok, then," he said, letting me lead him back to the campsite.

By the look of the stars, it was almost midnight, which meant it was time for me to take over the watch.

Zuko sat on Appa's tail and grabbed my hand.

I turned and looked at him.

"Stay, please."

My heart suddenly started beating loudly in my chest and I looked at Katara then back at Zuko.

"I... Ok, I'll be right back then," I said, making my way to the fire.

I sat next to Katara.

"Hey, Nix, is everything ok? Zuko seemed weird earlier when it was shift switch time.

"He's uh... going through a lot with Azula and, some things she said..."

Katara nodded and looked over her shoulder to my boyfriend, "I can cover your shift, but you'll owe me one," she smiled.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure, go on, seems like he really needs you."

"Thank you, Katara, I owe you one," I said, giving her a quick hug.

"Don't mention it," she said.

I stood and walked back over to Appa's tail, laying down a few inches from Zuko, trying not to be so dragons forbid awkward.

What do I do exactly? Zuko asked me to stay with him while he slept, but what does that mean?

Wow, am I awful at this.

Zuko next to me shifted his position and turned on his side, looking at me. I mirrored his position and took his hand which lay between us.

"Nix... could you... tell me a story about the stars?" he asked quietly.

I nodded, scooting closer to him, holding my arm out.

He ducked under my arm, his head resting on my bicep and under my chin.

He took a deep breath and wrapped his arm around me, my leg tangling itself in his. I was glad I was wearing a top that completely covered my chest, as the close proximity of his face would have caused a severe blush.

I kissed his hair and started speaking.

"There was a Phoenix who lived long ago and was very lonely. She begged the dragons for a child as she was distraught to be so old and alone without a companion. The dragon Haxul took pity on her and brought her the shell of a large turtle duck. Soon, a baby was born from the shell, a young boy who had red hair. As he grew, the red in his hair remained and so the people called him Chak. He made for himself instruments from a gord, called maracas, which had never been used before. One of the Elders, Panaytxl was very traditional, and saw the creation of a new instrument as a bastardization of the law and challenged the boy to a duel. He set in place three tests for Chak, the first to count all of the trees in the city walls, and he succeeded, the second, to find a pepper that was sweet. The next day he rounded up every kind of pepper in Mokuxa and brought them to prove that there are no sweet peppers, and the other Elders agreed to give Chak the point. For the final test, he asked the boy to place an avocado on his adoptive mother's, the Phoenix's, head, then to pierce it with a thrown spear without harming his mother. He did so with such skill he demanded that the Elder's son do the same. To save his pride Elder Panaytxl agreed and when his son threw the spear, it pierced his heart, killing him. Chak was called the Sun Prince and promoted to Elder. He continued to invent new instruments and build new buildings in the city, bolstering the economy and infrastructure of Mokuxa, eliciting a time of peace and growth. But when his Phoenix died, that night he died too, and where his body would have been they found a large turtle duck shell. When the dragons heard of this, the rearranged the stars to form a turtle duck in respect to Chak's passing."

Zuko was asleep. His breathing was slow, rhythmic, and warm. The cool night breeze drifted over us almost unnoticeable and the distant sound of a crackling fire lulled me to sleep.


End file.
